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If you don't know, I'll teach you.
First, you better really party hard when there is a good reason for it, for example birth of a child, weddings, funerals (yes, you do party then too, except you're not too happy), everything official, it's time to step it up. People usually no no, then you have to behave. YES, you behave when the event is going on, after that? Time to roll...
SO first, you drink all the free booze. At first, you should be respectful and hog the booze and not make it TOO obvious. After about 10th or so beer, you can just hog and be public, because then no one cares anymore. Or wait, you don't care anymore? I keep forgetting...
After free booze, you jump into someones car, someone who you don't know and say where you want to go. After free ride from someone, you make few somersaults on the ground with your suit on, but you just don't ever leave the ground. So you're kind of just rolling on the streets. Then you go and piss against a tree, if you need to go, you need to go.
Then just go into bars, don't even check out the name of the bar, just go. ALWAYS bypass the line if you still have your suit on. You are obviously drunk, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Bouncers like drunk suits, they know their credit cards are going into full action once they get in, so they'll pull you in. Never pay for entrance. If some clerk says 'hey you need to pay', act as if you didn't hear and just walk fast, blend into the crowd.
If smoking isn't allowed inside (by law it isn't anymore in here, unless they've prepared a smoking room), what you need to do is smoke. Remember, you have to walk with your drink or pint outside the bar when you leave it. a) you get to drink while you're walking to the next bar and b) it's not allowed c) when you party hard, you don't care, you NEED to break rules, period.
Drink all the booze and charge it on your credit card. Worry about it later. Separate from everyone because you can't see anymore and maybe you stumble into another bar adn think why the hell you're there to begin with, just go ramble and "walk" and be menacing. Not angry, but a happy drunk. Remember that at this point, you are unable to use your cellphone, because you just can't figure it out. Not only can you not see the screen, but you also can't use it because you forgot how it works. This means you are entering the next stage of 'tunnel drunk'. In general, you can't see, walk, talk, all your basic functions just shut down.
Now you know you need to get home. How? Who knows. Maybe jump into someones backseat and say your address, but not your real address... always leave like one block away from your real address, so in case something happens, well they don't know where you live.
Also trains are fine. They don't even check your ticket if you are drunk enough. Just grab on everything you can to hold you stable, try not to puke, and remember.. the whiter and sweatier your face is from all the poisoningn and coming down the better. NO one wants anything to do with you, so they'll leave you alone, even in crowded trains.
And that's how you party. And yes, the hangover is killing me.
First, you better really party hard when there is a good reason for it, for example birth of a child, weddings, funerals (yes, you do party then too, except you're not too happy), everything official, it's time to step it up. People usually no no, then you have to behave. YES, you behave when the event is going on, after that? Time to roll...
SO first, you drink all the free booze. At first, you should be respectful and hog the booze and not make it TOO obvious. After about 10th or so beer, you can just hog and be public, because then no one cares anymore. Or wait, you don't care anymore? I keep forgetting...
After free booze, you jump into someones car, someone who you don't know and say where you want to go. After free ride from someone, you make few somersaults on the ground with your suit on, but you just don't ever leave the ground. So you're kind of just rolling on the streets. Then you go and piss against a tree, if you need to go, you need to go.
Then just go into bars, don't even check out the name of the bar, just go. ALWAYS bypass the line if you still have your suit on. You are obviously drunk, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Bouncers like drunk suits, they know their credit cards are going into full action once they get in, so they'll pull you in. Never pay for entrance. If some clerk says 'hey you need to pay', act as if you didn't hear and just walk fast, blend into the crowd.
If smoking isn't allowed inside (by law it isn't anymore in here, unless they've prepared a smoking room), what you need to do is smoke. Remember, you have to walk with your drink or pint outside the bar when you leave it. a) you get to drink while you're walking to the next bar and b) it's not allowed c) when you party hard, you don't care, you NEED to break rules, period.
Drink all the booze and charge it on your credit card. Worry about it later. Separate from everyone because you can't see anymore and maybe you stumble into another bar adn think why the hell you're there to begin with, just go ramble and "walk" and be menacing. Not angry, but a happy drunk. Remember that at this point, you are unable to use your cellphone, because you just can't figure it out. Not only can you not see the screen, but you also can't use it because you forgot how it works. This means you are entering the next stage of 'tunnel drunk'. In general, you can't see, walk, talk, all your basic functions just shut down.
Now you know you need to get home. How? Who knows. Maybe jump into someones backseat and say your address, but not your real address... always leave like one block away from your real address, so in case something happens, well they don't know where you live.
Also trains are fine. They don't even check your ticket if you are drunk enough. Just grab on everything you can to hold you stable, try not to puke, and remember.. the whiter and sweatier your face is from all the poisoningn and coming down the better. NO one wants anything to do with you, so they'll leave you alone, even in crowded trains.
And that's how you party. And yes, the hangover is killing me.
I haven't been that drunk since...what day is it today...?
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