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  • Intel Aggressors Destroy Little Town

    Intel consigns Cornish town to oblivion

    You know things are bad when something's value is predicated by its standing in the Google search rankings, but that's exactly what's happening down at the Cornish town of Penryn - apparently consigned to oblivion by Intel's chip of the same name.

    This is Cornwall explains: "A week ago, typing Penryn into the Google search engine...would have immediately brought up information about the Cornish town in the top position. But now Penryn is slipping down the ratings as hordes of computer users around the world click on to find out more information about the new range of Intel computer processors."

    Oh dear. Kevin Pickup, big cheese down at i-webmarketing, "a Cornish company which helps firms optimise their search engine position", explained the possible apocalyptic implications of the cyber-relegation: "This is going to be a huge problem for Penryn businesses. Although the chip isn't even on the market yet, there's already a huge buzz. Web pages relating to the Intel Penryn are starting to displace local businesses in the search results.

    "As people who search the internet rarely look past the first couple of pages of results, the Cornish websites will effectively disappear from search engines."

    Of course, Intel will rename Penryn (the chip) in due course, but that could come too late for Penryn (the town). Pickup continued: "Even if they announce a new name, it will take up to a year for it to come off the placements. Businesses need to look at their keywords and maybe change a few things."

    Intel has moved quickly to assure Penrynians that they will not be forced to shut up shop and move to a more Google-prominent location. The UK's Intel marketing manager Chris Hogg offered: "It's just a codename that we're using - we have no plans whatsoever to use it as a brand. Once we start using the official product name, people will quickly stop using the codename. Cornwall is one of my favourite holiday destinations and I think Penryn is a delightful town." ®


    Co-Founder, Apolyton Civilization Site
    Co-Owner/Webmaster, Top40-Charts.com | CTO, Apogee Information Systems
    giannopoulos.info: my non-mobile non-photo news & articles blog

  • #2
    I do think google could wipe something out of the face of the earth... Just filter any references, nobody even knows it exists...
    I've allways wanted to play "Russ Meyer's Civilization"

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    • #3
      This sort of thing would NEVER happen to ANY of the INCREDIBLY popular towns in WYOMING...
      piece
      Order of the Fly

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      • #4
        And by posting this thread you've just contributed to the demise of the town of Penryn.
        Civilization II: maps, guides, links, scenarios, patches and utilities (+ Civ2Tech and CivEngineer)

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        • #5
          Penryn, yes.
          DISCLAIMER: the author of the above written texts does not warrant or assume any legal liability or responsibility for any offence and insult; disrespect, arrogance and related forms of demeaning behaviour; discrimination based on race, gender, age, income class, body mass, living area, political voting-record, football fan-ship and musical preference; insensitivity towards material, emotional or spiritual distress; and attempted emotional or financial black-mailing, skirt-chasing or death-threats perceived by the reader of the said written texts.

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          • #6
            Posting Penryn into oblivion.
            What?

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            • #7
              Rydhsys rag Kernow lemmyn!
              Rydhsys rag Kernow lemmyn!

              Another evil imperialistic plot to wipe out the memory of the Cornish Nation.
              Exult in your existence, because that very process has blundered unwittingly on its own negation. Only a small, local negation, to be sure: only one species, and only a minority of that species; but there lies hope. [...] Stand tall, Bipedal Ape. The shark may outswim you, the cheetah outrun you, the swift outfly you, the capuchin outclimb you, the elephant outpower you, the redwood outlast you. But you have the biggest gifts of all: the gift of understanding the ruthlessly cruel process that gave us all existence [and the] gift of revulsion against its implications.
              -Richard Dawkins

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Starchild
                Rydhsys rag Kernow lemmyn!
                Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
                I've allways wanted to play "Russ Meyer's Civilization"

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                • #9
                  Is that near Penryn, the town that carries the name of Intel's new range of CPU's?
                  DISCLAIMER: the author of the above written texts does not warrant or assume any legal liability or responsibility for any offence and insult; disrespect, arrogance and related forms of demeaning behaviour; discrimination based on race, gender, age, income class, body mass, living area, political voting-record, football fan-ship and musical preference; insensitivity towards material, emotional or spiritual distress; and attempted emotional or financial black-mailing, skirt-chasing or death-threats perceived by the reader of the said written texts.

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                  • #10
                    There is a new Intel chip named Penryn?

                    /me goes to google it up.
                    Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.-Isaiah 41:10
                    I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made - Psalms 139.14a
                    Also active on WePlayCiv.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Richelieu
                      Posting Penryn into oblivion.
                      lol the internets are attacking!

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                      • #12
                        Penryn looks awesome.
                        "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                        Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

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                        • #13
                          Right, because if something doesn't exist on Google, it doesn't exist.
                          "The purpose of studying economics is not to acquire a set of ready-made answers to economic questions, but to learn how to avoid being deceived by economists."
                          -Joan Robinson

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Victor Galis
                            Right, because if something doesn't exist on Google, it doesn't exist.
                            QFPenryn.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Tattila the Hun


                              Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
                              Pog ma thoin
                              THEY!!111 OMG WTF LOL LET DA NOMADS AND TEH S3D3NTARY PEOPLA BOTH MAEK BITER AXP3REINCES
                              AND TEH GRAAT SINS OF THERE [DOCTRINAL] INOVATIONS BQU3ATH3D SMAL
                              AND!!1!11!!! LOL JUST IN CAES A DISPUTANT CALS U 2 DISPUT3 ABOUT THEYRE CLAMES
                              DO NOT THAN DISPUT3 ON THEM 3XCAPT BY WAY OF AN 3XTARNAL DISPUTA!!!!11!! WTF

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