What is the best way to help those who are making life altering mistakes?

[Guynemer]

I don't think anyone can be helped except those who want help.

My father is an alcoholic. As a child, we had three interventions with him over the course of several years to try to get him to realize that he needed help. They all failed.

But once he had a massive stroke, putting him in the ICU for two weeks on the vent (so close to death that my family pulled me out of school in the middle of the day a few days into the ordeal because the doctors thought this was it), then he was willing to listen, then he wanted help.

He hasn't had any alcohol since, almost 15 years ago now. But we couldn't do anything to help, until he wanted it.

[Provost Harrison]

Re: What is the best way to help those who are making life altering mistakes?

Originally posted by Grandpa Troll
I have a very dark and painful past. Very painful. Also dishonorable, despictable, almost unforgiveable. Abuse, physical and emotional. Substance abuse. Disrespectful,antisocial and disruptive behavior. Some self inflicted most not.

What happened? Picked your nose in a public place?

[Grandpa Troll]

Originally posted by Guynemer
I don't think anyone can be helped except those who want help.

I agree, until a person see's it as a problem, in their mind, most times it isnt

My father is an alcoholic. As a child, we had three interventions with him over the course of several years to try to get him to realize that he needed help. They all failed.

But once he had a massive stroke, putting him in the ICU for two weeks on the vent (so close to death that my family pulled me out of school in the middle of the day a few days into the ordeal because the doctors thought this was it), then he was willing to listen, then he wanted help.

He hasn't had any alcohol since, almost 15 years ago now. But we couldn't do anything to help, until he wanted it.

Glad he had his family for strength, just a short byline, it was those who truly tried to help, not beat me down, but help, that offered hope during times of dispair. I clung to those hopes which eventually assisted in getting to the point where I am today, functioning in society. Most folks who have gone through substance abuse tell you, it is never over, it is one day at a time.

Gramps

[Grandpa Troll]

Re: Re: What is the best way to help those who are making life altering mistakes?

Originally posted by Provost Harrison


What happened? Picked your nose in a public place?

Yeah, thats what happened

[Provost Harrison]

Well it did sounds a rather melodramatic post from what I could tell...and a very vague question...

[Grandpa Troll]

Originally posted by Provost Harrison
Well it did sounds a rather melodramatic post from what I could tell...and a very vague question...

How so kind sir?

[SlowwHand]

I meant "C" too, for the same reason. Peepers not peeping perhaps.

[Zkribbler]

Re: What is the best way to help those who are making life altering mistakes?

Originally posted by Grandpa Troll
I have a very dark and painful past. Very painful. Also dishonorable, despictable, almost unforgiveable.

I'm glad you put the "almost" before the "unforgiveable."

You've posted stuff about your past before & I gotta be honest: I've I'd have known Kid Troll, I'd have avoided him like the plague. But you've really turned yourself around, & now I'm proud to include Grandpa Troll among my list of friends.

[Grandpa Troll]

Re: Re: What is the best way to help those who are making life altering mistakes?

Originally posted by Zkribbler


I'm glad you put the "almost" before the "unforgiveable."

You've posted stuff about your past before & I gotta be honest: I've I'd have known Kid Troll, I'd have avoided him like the plague. But you've really turned yourself around, & now I'm proud to include Grandpa Troll among my list of friends.

Thanks

The parts on the list that were done to me of course were not my choosing, but the results of what i went through were most assuredly my poor responses to previous experiences.

But, life does go on, and one might say we are "all aboard" and where the train takes us in many respects is dictated by how we approach what comes down the track.

and off i go

[Straybow]

I said A and C.

Choose one point to make in mode A. Probably something that one can't easily dance around anyway, but probably not the most critical point. It's an attention-getter.

Then soften the approach for what may be the most critical points, where tact may be of more value than the advice itself.

The real problem with giving advice is that it is rarely something the person hasn't heard before. You're just adding yourself to the long list of "people who say I should [not] do this or that."

[MRT144]

best way is to never let anyone forget they are making poor decisions and be apathetic when those poor decisions come back to bite them in the ass.

[Colonâ„¢]

Best is probably C, though I can't help myself hammering it home in the B manner.

[MRT144]

the fear of alienating someone especially a teenager is laughable. the net effect of alienating a teen a little bit more than they already are is miniscule.

[Colonâ„¢]

Originally posted by Straybow
The real problem with giving advice is that it is rarely something the person hasn't heard before. You're just adding yourself to the long list of "people who say I should [not] do this or that."

Word. Also probable is that you're telling something the persons already realises on its own. In that case space is what's most called for.