I want to kill my flatmates

[Zoid]

Excellent idea!

[Heresson]

yes, but what if there are going to be more than 24 new flatmate options?

24 is not enough!

[Zoid]

We'll have to do a set of semi-finals

[Heresson]

I think we should set a list of questions Datajack should ask each person. Also, pics should be taken of each candidate - frontal and profile.

[Imran Siddiqui]

Now you are talking

Oh, and if they use drugs, they are out... unless they are really hot, but I'll let the gay men decide that one .

[Heresson]

Datajack, if You think You're stupid, take a look at me.
I am going to Italy for skiing, so I came from Warsaw to Silesia, and am leaving in a while. But I have no passport. I was 100% sure it is in my home in Silesia - I was wrong. Theorethically, I shoudl be able to cross the boarder with another personal identification document,
which name in english I am not sure of, but I have never tried that.
My sis and mom did, when it comes to Britain, but they have, I think, new versions of it, while I have the old one.
I don't mind not skiing and all, but all the rest of the trip may have problems because of me or whatever... and my parents have paid money. And I'm perhaps ruining it all... damn. I am dumb


I have 3 boarders to cross...

[Datajack Franit]

LOL I wonder why you lost the war (Poland)

I'm going to make a poll! Moderators, please close this thread

[Datajack Franit]

I'm going to make the poll tomorrow, after we had a look at everyone.

Right now the possible future flatmate is one of these:

Swedish guy (saw him)
Norwegian girl (comes tomorrow)
English guy (comes tomorrow)
English guy #2 (comes either tomorrow or Sunday)

Some more people may call at any time, but we have to take a decision before Monday.



Oh. Baboons came again today and chitchatted with an old lady living on our floor, right in front of us. Magically, the elevator had something written inside it. It sounded like

****** LOSER FROM CALABRIA

(they are from Basilicata, which is the most miserable region of Europe )

[LordShiva]

Post a pic of the Norwegian

[Datajack Franit]

She sounds nice AND a little slutty (by phone at least)

maybe she has some brothers visiting her for holidays

[Datajack Franit]

Ok guys, sorry for not posting updates about the whole thing but reading books about Nazis slaughtering Jews and Poles (Contemporary History exam) was a little more important.


A flood of foreign-exchange students arrived, visited the apartment. Some showed some interest. Nobody really wanted it. Honestly.



The Norwegian girl thing explains a lot by itself:


Girl
Datajack



"Ring ring!" Which floor please?
Seventh!

after 5 minutes

Esckjuse me I cannot find teh floor!

Floor.. number.. seven..
*Tee-hee* Okay

Hellow

Hi there! Welcome. Did it take much to find the place?

YES IT IS VERY FAR

.........

.........

Would you like a cup of coffee while you sit down?

NO I'd like to see the apartment NOW

Okay. *Datajack takes the girl around*

Oh I see you have two bathrooms, a large balcony, furniture and a washing machine as well, but it is obviously not enough for people living in Norway like me

Oh

Can you turn off the tv? I HAVE TO CHECK the signal

*turns tv*

says something while Goku is fighting Vegeta

Can you repeat?

ITCH- IT- OFF!

.......... *switches tv off*

Now it is really important to me to have an internet connection, as my studies require it. Well, no, I'm a language student and the only thing I require is to talk to people. I just need the internet connection to chat with my stupid friends on Skype.

I'm sorry but we don't have an internet connection yet, definitely in the future but not immediately

BUT I REALLY NEED IT

Sorry about that

I really really need an apartment with an internet connection

We really don't have it

But I need it


At this point I walk to the main entrance and open the main door in front of her. Enough is enough, you stupid genetic mistake


Approximately 90% of the people visiting the apartment was made of genetic mistakes that were possibly worse than this girl

[Datajack Franit]

Then the English guy arrived

English guy from London
Datajack



Heaw gawd hi matey!

Hi!

Nice place!

Thanks (warms my heart someone finally notices it- my apartment is THAT good) would you like a coffee?

That would be sweet aye-gawd!

*sips milked-1kg sweetened coffee*

*swallows it down, dark and bitter*

Here's the apartment. The room is very big, almost 30 square meters. We offer it at the same price of every other room (my room is 15 square meters)

Oooh how nice indeed

And we are not going to runaway with your money like people here does

Yeah I heard it happens frequently in this country

Well, if there's not anything else you'd like to ask?

Do you have an internet connection?

No, sorry about that. I go to an internet point that is not far from here. Oh, now that you mention, we have several bus lines connecting this neighborhood to the city center, including a bus line running all night long.

That sounds perfect for my lifestyle!

Good. I think I'm going to take a decision by tomorrow evening.

Looking forward to that! Hope to hear you soon!



*Datajack is very happy and thinks everything is ok*

Next morning:

Hello there?

Who's there?

Datajack!

OH. Hello, how's it.

I'm fine thanks. And you? Did you find an apartment already?

Oh that's the point. Look, I really like the apartment, the price, the neighborhood and everything else about it, including maybe you too, as I appeared like a closeted homosexual. But you don't have an internet connection at home, I'd rather like to pay a double rent and sharing a room with your previous flatmates instead of riding a bus and paying money for connecting to the internet to download gay porn.

*ANGER* Okay! Good luck!

[Zkribbler]

But did she have big tits??

[Datajack Franit]

The next guy was a Swedish ancient history student


viking
Datajack



Usual BLA BLA I'd kill myself rather than hearing again within the next year


Oh I am very interested in the apartment

*at last!* Nice. Leave me your number and I'm going to take a decision by tomorrow morning

Great. I'm in a rush to find an apartment, and I really really like this place, the neighborhood, plus I am Swedish and probably have many Swedish friends getting drunk on your sofa

Ok, bye


Next day I dial his number and call him to inform him I chose vikingland

PHONE OPERATOR: *The dialled number does not exist*

He wrote his own phone number wrong

By this moment I take away all the internet ads and place new ones with my other flatmate's number ONLY. I slept for 2 days and when I woke up, S. chose some factory worker guy that I've never seen in my life. But who cares, at this point.

Note: we had an internet connection 5 days after he moved in. You heard that, salmon eater?





Salmon eater had HUGE breasts

[Spiffor]