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I want to kill my flatmates
Alright, I am drunk enough to smile about what happened into my once beautiful home in Bologna, which turned into a filthy ****hole the day after me and my other flatmate had to replace this nice girl working as bus driver and moving to another place.
Basically, I've been living in this apartment since the middle of July 2006. It's large, even for a city that the Allies didn't bomb enough (this is the typical motto for those large cities that have entire neighbourhoods of 6 floors flats without elevators), located into a green, safe and clean part of this filthy, dangerous, crime-ridden city that Bologna is.
During the first months I was literally looking for a way to cut my veins for how boring the whole situation turned out. Both my flatmates (S, current flatmate and L, female bus driver) work hard, meaning they both wake up very early in the morning (S at 6.30 am, L at 5 am) and go bed at 9pm for how tired they are. First, a suggestion. Don't you ever live with workers, if you're a student. You won't be able to have parties at home, listening to loud music, watch tv after midnight unless you switch volume off. And of course, you won't be able to go out with any of them, as they are workingworkingworking and that's ALL they do. Also, all of my Uni courses begin every year at November 4th. I can't do anything about it, the only option is to look for an apartment in late September, as August leaves the city empty as a medieval black-plague infested ghetto. Of course September throws you into places where 6 students share an apartment that's supposed to be used by 3.
Eventually you'll discover all the, er, "diamonds" hiding in these special places, let those diamonds be chickens sleeping in the hot tub (I swear God it's true), punks paying the rent by selling drugs and Art students working as male prostitutes (again, happened to me during my Freshman year). Remembering all of these experiences convinced me of taking a room much earlier than needed last summer.
So the day L. had to move, I was actually relieved, as I started to think about turning the whole place into a students' apartment, with people coming and leaving, drunk parties, you know, the normal life of a Uni student. This happened in the late October.
So, some people start to show up for the room that is now available.
Day 1
First call: a girl talking for half an hour, eventually ending the conversation because the apartment is too far from the Uni district ("far" means 10 minutes of bus from the city center, 5 minutes of walk to other Faculties).
My polite and reasonable answer was:
"CANT YOU LOOK AT THE MAP BEFORE CALLING YOU DAMN *****?"
Second call: another girl, this one has a Duffy Duck talk (how do you say that, it's like she has her tongue coming out of her mouth anytime she uses the letter P). I arrange an appointment with her. After waiting 40 minutes, I get pissed off and decide to get to the city. When I'm half-way the girl calls:
"Helloo, I've been ringing for 10 minutes at the door but nobody's answering"
Losing my nerves again
"It's ok, I thought you weren't coming, wait for me"
I go all the way back and meet this girl. She's in her late 20's, dressed as a true hooker, wearing some ridiculous sunglasses. I take the girl upstairs and show her around.
Stupid questions begin:
"Ohhh I like it but can I pay less? Because I need the room only for a week every month"
"Hmm, there's no tv in the living room. This is going to be a problem"
"What, no dishwashing machine ?"
"I have a lot of furniture, I'll need to use your storage room, or your garage if you have one- if you have a car you can park it outside, it's summer *giggles*"
The girl goes away and I wonder what did I do wrong in my life. Then she calls again:
"Hellow, do you have an Internet access at home?"
"No, as I told you before we don't even have a phone line"
"Toooo bad.... But remember I'll take the room anytime! Call me back when you decide, quickly!"
"Bye"
From that day, she started calling every day asking if I actually chose her. I honestly wanted to say something rude, but time was running short and I needed a flatmate before the end of the month.
Day 2
Third call
Some guy with a funny accent calls, arranges a meeting and comes at the perfect time. Big thumbs up for him.
Two guys knock at the room. Guy 1 and 2. Truly foreigner looking.
Guy 1 is brutally handsome. I want to have his babies. I want him (in my apartment, and not only there
).
Guy 2 is, er, some kind of member of the Soprano family. Like Tony in his 30's.
Guy 1 says he's the translator for Guy 2, that doesn't speak a very good Italian. So Guy 1 won't sleep in my house
Datajack starts a conversation
"So, where are you guys from"?
" Isaliani!"
"Pardon me?"
"Isaliani!!"
Asking for the 3rd time would be impolite, so I accept that they are from some obscure province of Portugal.
"I see. Oh I'm Francesco, and you are?"
"Hvaghh"
"Hrptr"
"Are these typical Portuguese names"?
"No, Isaliani!"
*sigh"
"Ok, and from what region are you?"
"Region?"
"Er, province then?"
"..."
"What city?"
"Haifa!"
"Ohhh" (at last I learned that Israeli call themselves"Isalians"
"Well, if you liked the room, I'll call you back as soon as I make my mind"
"Ok, bye"
Fourth call
Guy in his 40's calls.
"Yo, is there a problem I am a student of 40 years old"
"It's ok, I started Uni late as well"
"Okay see you later"
Some strange person materializes. Obese, dressed in a tight lycra t-shirt, some sunglasses (7 pm) that would definitely look good on a Versace model but NOT ON HIM.
I show him the whole place and write down his phone number. His age, appearance and the number of skin tumours on his face are convincing me of not taking him.
"Okay, I will let you know within the next days"
"Okay, byes"
Datajack has dinner, cell phone rings
"Hello, it's me again" (the tumour guy)
"Hi?"
"I am here downstairs with a friend of mine. If you're there, I'm coming up to give you the money for the rent"
I am seriously sorry for this guy. He must have been laughed at in every apartment he visited, so the my kindness (I am a people person) must have convinced him that I was actually going to choose him over a 20 yo student.
"Er, it's not a matter of money, we're choosing people based on personal choice, but I'm going to call you whenever I know who we are choosing"
"OOH Okay I'm looking forward to that. Bye"
Day 3
Received several calls, at this point I am so pissed off that I just turn down people whose voice don't convince me.
Basically, anyone using a bad grammar, talking like a cokehead, doing the typical stereotype Uni course of punks and street junkies, in Bologna it's Physics and the Department of Theatre and Cinema. Really.
Every year we have boatloads of Freshman students coming into the city signing into these "alternative" curricula, in a matter of 4 months they get lost and you find them completely wasted in the middle of the street, begging people for money, walking around with their dogs (junkies in Bologna have dogs: anyone looking for a room and mentioning having a dog becomes a pariah)
Unknown number of call 1 and 2
American student calls and I arrange a meeting with him. Right after, an Italian couple call and do the same. For some unknown reason, they show up at the same time.
"Hello"
"Hello"
"Hello"
"Hello you too"
"Hello"
Yeah whatever
Well, both take a tour of the apartment (at last S. helps me with all the people visiting the place)
All these guys seem very nice. The couple is made up by an Art student (he) and a tailor (she). The American guy is a foreign language student, speaks the best Italian I ever heard from a foreigner. The couple at some point of the conversation start rolling a joint and offers it to everyone. (Yeah, I know. BEEEEP!) S. accepts, so do I (when you're in Rome..). The American guy refuses, but the next day he calls and apologises for that, inviting me out for a drink, so that we can get to know each other better, as he barely said a word during the meeting.
At last, I have to make the final decision. Remember that S. is working all of the day, so doesn't have time to meet everyone. I'm in charge of the whole thing: advertising the apartment, receiving calls, meeting, and because of this I have a strong reason for taking the final decision, if he feels it's ok to him too.
I want the couple, but he is not convinced, saying that they probably are some junkies that cleaned up themselves just for this occasion. I'm not sure about it, and take the whole weekend to think about what to do. Calling mother, my friends, eventually asking advice even at the parents of my best friend visiting her. Everybody says that if there's something fishy about someone, I shouldn't take any risk.
What would a normal person do?
Now, what would cokehead Datajack do?
At this point, I really want the couple, if only for having more people at home, more company, also paying less for my own rent (120 € per month). S. insists that I call the American guy first, so I give up and call him. He already found another apartment, right a couple of hours before I called. Damn.
So, the only choice now is taking the risky couple, or the mute "Isalian". Let it be the couple. In that moment I thought "I really hope I won't regret this decision"
Oh, if I did.
Living with a couple
From this moment, I will refer to the members of the couple as "Male Baboon" and "Female Baboon". Baboons have no names, not even an initial. They are just Baboons.
Now, writing about months of stay is something I don't find interesting, so I'll just write down some memorable moments that happened during the last months
Day 1
Baboons are supposed to come home at 2PM in order to move their things and receive their keys. They show up at 11PM. With a guest. The guest has a dog. S. turns around and gives me a "I told you" icy glare.
Approximately week 2
There's not a single coffee cup left in the whole house. I can see a single one left, broken in half and being used as an ashtray.
People living downstairs come knocking at our door asking to make less noise at night and avoid running around the house wearing boots.
Baboons burp and fart while having dinner in the living room.
Once every week
Female Baboon's sister comes to our place, takes a shower, uses the laundry machine, cooks, sleeps on the sofa in the living room, locking herself in when feeling sleepy but forgets to either switch lights or tv off.
Female Baboon's sister yells at S. when he opens the kitchen's window to get toxic fish gases out of the place.
Female Baboon's sister has no job and lives in a trailerpark. S. thinks that she has the typical eyes and skin colour of a junkie-cokehead.
Last month
Datajack notices that Baboons never took a shower since the day they moved in. Baboons apparently don't need to study or work, as they appear to be always sitting on the sofa watching tv.
Baboons ask to pay less, as they think 400€ for a double room is too much (600€ is the minimum price for a double room here)
Baboons leave poo poo all over the toilet, thinking the magical toilet will auto-clean itself. Female baboon and her sister also think that leaving bras and used tampons on the sink will magically disappear as well.
Also, they have the need of keeping me updated with their body functions. This is a normal conversation made by normal persons:
"I have to go make the ****ty crap poo poo! *giggles*"
"Make a lot for me too, sweety! ♥ "
I was eating and I swear on my mother's head it is not something I just invented.
2 weeks ago
Datajack starts having a mental breakdown from the inability to find some peace at home, and goes back to his hometown to study for an important upcoming exam. Well, I needed the Internet access mostly. The exam went very good anyway
When comes back, S. approaches him
"Francesco can I talk to you for a moment?"
"Okay?"
"I want those guys out of here"
"..."
"I see. I guess you reached the boiling point"
"**** yeah- I talked to the houseowner and he totally agrees. He asked me to tell them that it was his own decision, as he received complaints"
"Alright then"
So, S. waits for the Baboons to come back from nobody knows, and tells him so. This develops into a nightmare, with everyone yelling but me. Male baboon storms out of the place and comes back after a while, he brought some of the people living downstairs, yelling at them. These people get so scared that say they didn't complain or anything like that. Baboons say that as nobody complained, they don't have to leave the apartment, but as they don't like living in these conditions anymore
"We have our rights! We are leaving in 6 months!"
"You have one month to leave, and this ends the conversation"
Note: they didn't sign a contract. Nothing. They are here as guests, just like me. S. is the only person that has a regular home contract, it's his ability to throw away anyone within a day.
Since that moment, I became some kind of spy. I sneaked into their evening conversations, as I was always diplomatic to everyone living at home, I like listening to their comments and reporting them to S. I am such an awful person. Basically they are throwing dirt daily on S. and I keep him daily updated.
Then here it comes. 3 days ago, S. comes with a friend visiting him. Female Baboon thinks his friend is a guy coming to visit the apartment.
"IS THIS THE WAY OF COMING AT PEOPLE'S HOME? YOU CAN'T SEE MY ROOM, THERE ARE PERSONAL ITEMS IN THERE"
S. turns purple but just says
"He's a friend of mine visiting me"
"Well, still you could tell people when you invite guests"
10 seconds silence
S. and his friend have a coffee then after a while his friend leaves. As the friend boards the elevator S. explodes
"Don't you EVER use that arrogant tone at MY HOME. Especially when I have guests"
Female Baboon knows she's wrong but just yells back some guttural sounds
Just in time, Male Baboon comes home and joins the verbal fight.
"This is a conversation between me and your girlfriend, you weren't here and you don't know what happened so please shut up, I had enough problems with you two"
"Problems like what? The people living downstairs told you that we didn't do any noise"
"It was MY complaint about you, your ****ing noise all night long, your cocaine addicted sister sleeping here and behaving as the mother ****ing queen of England, leaving crusts of **** on the toilet and used ****ing tampons!
"Wha-wha-wha-what--"
"And I know all of your chitchats with Francesco about myself, I am pissed off with you!"
At this point (I'm in my own room) I run to my desk and pretend to be listening to music with headphones and writing something on the laptop.
*BUMP* on my door
0.1 second after, Male Baboon storms in my room
"FRANCESCO TELL HIM THAT WE ARE NOT THROWING DIRT ON HIM"
At this point, I am framed. Standing by the Baboons' side would end in S. throwing everybody out at the moment. Being diplomatic would make me a double-edged *******.
I can only pretend being surprised and shout
"IS THIS THE ****ING WAY OF ENTERING SOMEONE'S ROOM?"
I shut the door and there's total silence.
The Baboons are refusing to talk to me since that. No more spying I guess. At least they are really leaving the apartment at the end of next month, hopefully before that. S. said he will personally throw their things out of the window if they don't, along with changing door locks.
Now, the day after this happened, I went again back to my home town (where I am right now), another exam is approaching. I am very worried that they may try to convince S. that I was plotting something together with them. Which I did not, as I'm not so stupid to plot stuff against the home contract owner, with Baboons that are already on their way out.
My courses end in March, so being evicted wouldn't matter anymore. If he evicts me in a polite way. I have a bad feeling about this. He technically can lock me out of the apartment and burn my things. I need a holiday so bad.
For some reason, I think S. will be mad at me for bringing this plague to the apartment, do you agree?
Let me know what do you think about all this LONG story.
Basically, I've been living in this apartment since the middle of July 2006. It's large, even for a city that the Allies didn't bomb enough (this is the typical motto for those large cities that have entire neighbourhoods of 6 floors flats without elevators), located into a green, safe and clean part of this filthy, dangerous, crime-ridden city that Bologna is.
During the first months I was literally looking for a way to cut my veins for how boring the whole situation turned out. Both my flatmates (S, current flatmate and L, female bus driver) work hard, meaning they both wake up very early in the morning (S at 6.30 am, L at 5 am) and go bed at 9pm for how tired they are. First, a suggestion. Don't you ever live with workers, if you're a student. You won't be able to have parties at home, listening to loud music, watch tv after midnight unless you switch volume off. And of course, you won't be able to go out with any of them, as they are workingworkingworking and that's ALL they do. Also, all of my Uni courses begin every year at November 4th. I can't do anything about it, the only option is to look for an apartment in late September, as August leaves the city empty as a medieval black-plague infested ghetto. Of course September throws you into places where 6 students share an apartment that's supposed to be used by 3.
Eventually you'll discover all the, er, "diamonds" hiding in these special places, let those diamonds be chickens sleeping in the hot tub (I swear God it's true), punks paying the rent by selling drugs and Art students working as male prostitutes (again, happened to me during my Freshman year). Remembering all of these experiences convinced me of taking a room much earlier than needed last summer.
So the day L. had to move, I was actually relieved, as I started to think about turning the whole place into a students' apartment, with people coming and leaving, drunk parties, you know, the normal life of a Uni student. This happened in the late October.
So, some people start to show up for the room that is now available.
Day 1
First call: a girl talking for half an hour, eventually ending the conversation because the apartment is too far from the Uni district ("far" means 10 minutes of bus from the city center, 5 minutes of walk to other Faculties).
My polite and reasonable answer was:
"CANT YOU LOOK AT THE MAP BEFORE CALLING YOU DAMN *****?"
Second call: another girl, this one has a Duffy Duck talk (how do you say that, it's like she has her tongue coming out of her mouth anytime she uses the letter P). I arrange an appointment with her. After waiting 40 minutes, I get pissed off and decide to get to the city. When I'm half-way the girl calls:
"Helloo, I've been ringing for 10 minutes at the door but nobody's answering"
Losing my nerves again
"It's ok, I thought you weren't coming, wait for me"
I go all the way back and meet this girl. She's in her late 20's, dressed as a true hooker, wearing some ridiculous sunglasses. I take the girl upstairs and show her around.
Stupid questions begin:
"Ohhh I like it but can I pay less? Because I need the room only for a week every month"
"Hmm, there's no tv in the living room. This is going to be a problem"
"What, no dishwashing machine ?"
"I have a lot of furniture, I'll need to use your storage room, or your garage if you have one- if you have a car you can park it outside, it's summer *giggles*"
The girl goes away and I wonder what did I do wrong in my life. Then she calls again:
"Hellow, do you have an Internet access at home?"
"No, as I told you before we don't even have a phone line"
"Toooo bad.... But remember I'll take the room anytime! Call me back when you decide, quickly!"
"Bye"
From that day, she started calling every day asking if I actually chose her. I honestly wanted to say something rude, but time was running short and I needed a flatmate before the end of the month.
Day 2
Third call
Some guy with a funny accent calls, arranges a meeting and comes at the perfect time. Big thumbs up for him.
Two guys knock at the room. Guy 1 and 2. Truly foreigner looking.
Guy 1 is brutally handsome. I want to have his babies. I want him (in my apartment, and not only there
). Guy 2 is, er, some kind of member of the Soprano family. Like Tony in his 30's.
Guy 1 says he's the translator for Guy 2, that doesn't speak a very good Italian. So Guy 1 won't sleep in my house
Datajack starts a conversation
"So, where are you guys from"?
" Isaliani!"
"Pardon me?"
"Isaliani!!"
Asking for the 3rd time would be impolite, so I accept that they are from some obscure province of Portugal.
"I see. Oh I'm Francesco, and you are?"
"Hvaghh"
"Hrptr"
"Are these typical Portuguese names"?
"No, Isaliani!"
*sigh"
"Ok, and from what region are you?"
"Region?"
"Er, province then?"
"..."
"What city?"
"Haifa!"
"Ohhh" (at last I learned that Israeli call themselves"Isalians"
"Well, if you liked the room, I'll call you back as soon as I make my mind"
"Ok, bye"
Fourth call
Guy in his 40's calls.
"Yo, is there a problem I am a student of 40 years old"
"It's ok, I started Uni late as well"
"Okay see you later"
Some strange person materializes. Obese, dressed in a tight lycra t-shirt, some sunglasses (7 pm) that would definitely look good on a Versace model but NOT ON HIM.
I show him the whole place and write down his phone number. His age, appearance and the number of skin tumours on his face are convincing me of not taking him.
"Okay, I will let you know within the next days"
"Okay, byes"
Datajack has dinner, cell phone rings
"Hello, it's me again" (the tumour guy)
"Hi?"
"I am here downstairs with a friend of mine. If you're there, I'm coming up to give you the money for the rent"
I am seriously sorry for this guy. He must have been laughed at in every apartment he visited, so the my kindness (I am a people person) must have convinced him that I was actually going to choose him over a 20 yo student.
"Er, it's not a matter of money, we're choosing people based on personal choice, but I'm going to call you whenever I know who we are choosing"
"OOH
Okay I'm looking forward to that. Bye"Day 3
Received several calls, at this point I am so pissed off that I just turn down people whose voice don't convince me.
Basically, anyone using a bad grammar, talking like a cokehead, doing the typical stereotype Uni course of punks and street junkies, in Bologna it's Physics and the Department of Theatre and Cinema. Really.
Every year we have boatloads of Freshman students coming into the city signing into these "alternative" curricula, in a matter of 4 months they get lost and you find them completely wasted in the middle of the street, begging people for money, walking around with their dogs (junkies in Bologna have dogs: anyone looking for a room and mentioning having a dog becomes a pariah)
Unknown number of call 1 and 2
American student calls and I arrange a meeting with him. Right after, an Italian couple call and do the same. For some unknown reason, they show up at the same time.
"Hello"
"Hello"
"Hello"
"Hello you too"
"Hello"
Yeah whatever
Well, both take a tour of the apartment (at last S. helps me with all the people visiting the place)
All these guys seem very nice. The couple is made up by an Art student (he) and a tailor (she). The American guy is a foreign language student, speaks the best Italian I ever heard from a foreigner. The couple at some point of the conversation start rolling a joint and offers it to everyone. (Yeah, I know. BEEEEP!) S. accepts, so do I (when you're in Rome..). The American guy refuses, but the next day he calls and apologises for that, inviting me out for a drink, so that we can get to know each other better, as he barely said a word during the meeting.
At last, I have to make the final decision. Remember that S. is working all of the day, so doesn't have time to meet everyone. I'm in charge of the whole thing: advertising the apartment, receiving calls, meeting, and because of this I have a strong reason for taking the final decision, if he feels it's ok to him too.
I want the couple, but he is not convinced, saying that they probably are some junkies that cleaned up themselves just for this occasion. I'm not sure about it, and take the whole weekend to think about what to do. Calling mother, my friends, eventually asking advice even at the parents of my best friend visiting her. Everybody says that if there's something fishy about someone, I shouldn't take any risk.
What would a normal person do?
Now, what would cokehead Datajack do?
At this point, I really want the couple, if only for having more people at home, more company, also paying less for my own rent (120 € per month). S. insists that I call the American guy first, so I give up and call him. He already found another apartment, right a couple of hours before I called. Damn.
So, the only choice now is taking the risky couple, or the mute "Isalian". Let it be the couple. In that moment I thought "I really hope I won't regret this decision"
Oh, if I did.
Living with a couple
From this moment, I will refer to the members of the couple as "Male Baboon" and "Female Baboon". Baboons have no names, not even an initial. They are just Baboons.
Now, writing about months of stay is something I don't find interesting, so I'll just write down some memorable moments that happened during the last months
Day 1
Baboons are supposed to come home at 2PM in order to move their things and receive their keys. They show up at 11PM. With a guest. The guest has a dog. S. turns around and gives me a "I told you" icy glare.
Approximately week 2
There's not a single coffee cup left in the whole house. I can see a single one left, broken in half and being used as an ashtray.
People living downstairs come knocking at our door asking to make less noise at night and avoid running around the house wearing boots.
Baboons burp and fart while having dinner in the living room.
Once every week
Female Baboon's sister comes to our place, takes a shower, uses the laundry machine, cooks, sleeps on the sofa in the living room, locking herself in when feeling sleepy but forgets to either switch lights or tv off.
Female Baboon's sister yells at S. when he opens the kitchen's window to get toxic fish gases out of the place.
Female Baboon's sister has no job and lives in a trailerpark. S. thinks that she has the typical eyes and skin colour of a junkie-cokehead.
Last month
Datajack notices that Baboons never took a shower since the day they moved in. Baboons apparently don't need to study or work, as they appear to be always sitting on the sofa watching tv.
Baboons ask to pay less, as they think 400€ for a double room is too much (600€ is the minimum price for a double room here)
Baboons leave poo poo all over the toilet, thinking the magical toilet will auto-clean itself. Female baboon and her sister also think that leaving bras and used tampons on the sink will magically disappear as well.
Also, they have the need of keeping me updated with their body functions. This is a normal conversation made by normal persons:
"I have to go make the ****ty crap poo poo! *giggles*"
"Make a lot for me too, sweety! ♥ "
I was eating and I swear on my mother's head it is not something I just invented.
2 weeks ago
Datajack starts having a mental breakdown from the inability to find some peace at home, and goes back to his hometown to study for an important upcoming exam. Well, I needed the Internet access mostly. The exam went very good anyway
When comes back, S. approaches him"Francesco can I talk to you for a moment?"
"Okay?"
"I want those guys out of here"
"..."
"I see. I guess you reached the boiling point"
"**** yeah- I talked to the houseowner and he totally agrees. He asked me to tell them that it was his own decision, as he received complaints"
"Alright then"
So, S. waits for the Baboons to come back from nobody knows, and tells him so. This develops into a nightmare, with everyone yelling but me. Male baboon storms out of the place and comes back after a while, he brought some of the people living downstairs, yelling at them. These people get so scared that say they didn't complain or anything like that. Baboons say that as nobody complained, they don't have to leave the apartment, but as they don't like living in these conditions anymore
"We have our rights! We are leaving in 6 months!"
"You have one month to leave, and this ends the conversation"
Note: they didn't sign a contract. Nothing. They are here as guests, just like me. S. is the only person that has a regular home contract, it's his ability to throw away anyone within a day.
Since that moment, I became some kind of spy. I sneaked into their evening conversations, as I was always diplomatic to everyone living at home, I like listening to their comments and reporting them to S.
I am such an awful person. Basically they are throwing dirt daily on S. and I keep him daily updated.Then here it comes. 3 days ago, S. comes with a friend visiting him. Female Baboon thinks his friend is a guy coming to visit the apartment.
"IS THIS THE WAY OF COMING AT PEOPLE'S HOME? YOU CAN'T SEE MY ROOM, THERE ARE PERSONAL ITEMS IN THERE"
S. turns purple but just says
"He's a friend of mine visiting me"
"Well, still you could tell people when you invite guests"
10 seconds silence
S. and his friend have a coffee then after a while his friend leaves. As the friend boards the elevator S. explodes
"Don't you EVER use that arrogant tone at MY HOME. Especially when I have guests"
Female Baboon knows she's wrong but just yells back some guttural sounds
Just in time, Male Baboon comes home and joins the verbal fight.
"This is a conversation between me and your girlfriend, you weren't here and you don't know what happened so please shut up, I had enough problems with you two"
"Problems like what? The people living downstairs told you that we didn't do any noise"
"It was MY complaint about you, your ****ing noise all night long, your cocaine addicted sister sleeping here and behaving as the mother ****ing queen of England, leaving crusts of **** on the toilet and used ****ing tampons!
"Wha-wha-wha-what--"
"And I know all of your chitchats with Francesco about myself, I am pissed off with you!"
At this point (I'm in my own room) I run to my desk and pretend to be listening to music with headphones and writing something on the laptop.
*BUMP* on my door
0.1 second after, Male Baboon storms in my room
"FRANCESCO TELL HIM THAT WE ARE NOT THROWING DIRT ON HIM"
At this point, I am framed. Standing by the Baboons' side would end in S. throwing everybody out at the moment. Being diplomatic would make me a double-edged *******.
I can only pretend being surprised and shout
"IS THIS THE ****ING WAY OF ENTERING SOMEONE'S ROOM?"
I shut the door and there's total silence.
The Baboons are refusing to talk to me since that. No more spying I guess. At least they are really leaving the apartment at the end of next month, hopefully before that. S. said he will personally throw their things out of the window if they don't, along with changing door locks.
Now, the day after this happened, I went again back to my home town (where I am right now), another exam is approaching. I am very worried that they may try to convince S. that I was plotting something together with them. Which I did not, as I'm not so stupid to plot stuff against the home contract owner, with Baboons that are already on their way out.
My courses end in March, so being evicted wouldn't matter anymore. If he evicts me in a polite way. I have a bad feeling about this. He technically can lock me out of the apartment and burn my things. I need a holiday so bad.
For some reason, I think S. will be mad at me for bringing this plague to the apartment, do you agree?
Let me know what do you think about all this LONG story.
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