Please cirtique my writing

[Heresson]

Germans and Russians are dieing out, really. Russia's population shrinks by a million each year. Germany is Yeni Turkiye in statu nascendi

[Cort Haus]

For a spectacular demonstration of these examples, look at the destruction of the Bamiyan Buddhas. The Taliban had no affinity with these symbols of Afghanistan's glorious past, of its rich history, of its culture and its traditions, they had eyes only for Arab glory, for what they perceived to be Muslim glory. And in their eyes, Muslim glory consisted of destroying idols.

Only advertisers and demagogues start sentences with 'And'. And 'poly posters.

The fire in which it was consumed burnt for a full seven days.

More demagoguery, which is probably what you're after. Nice images of burning fires and a full seven days. It reminds me of The Life of Brian

"And behold, a nine bladed sword. Not two, nor five, nor seven, but nine! Which he will wield on all wretched city-sinners like you sir, there!"

The definition of modernity I am using is, of course, a Western one, but that is inevitable given our circumstances. Alternatives can, however, be developed, and that is the crying need of the day – to provide whatever gifts the West has given an Indian context, to make them suitable to our civilisational ideals.

Somethings not quite right with 'provide'. Removing the following subclause and you get "... that is the crying need of the day - to provide an Indian context." Normally you 'give' something context, rather than 'providing' it. It would clash tonally with 'gift' though.

How about "that is the crying need of the day – to transform whatever gifts the West has given into an Indian context.

Others have already commented on some of the other inflammatory rhetoric. Perhaps you could end your speech by handing out armbands of your beloved swastika and leading a stirring rendition of

"Tomorrow belongs, tomorrow belongs, tomorrow belongs to me!"

[BeBMan]

There also is no single/absolute Western def for modernity, there are many, so it isn't clear which one is used /liberal arts weenie

[Heresson]

Bernd doesn't like me

[BeBMan]

Why do you think that

[LordShiva]

Who is Bernd?

[BeBMan]

I have no idea.

[DaShi]

But didn't Western civilization create the very Indian civilization that you claim needs saving?

[Heresson]

Originally posted by BeBro
Why do you think that

Playtest my scn

[LordShiva]

Make some Civ4 scns

[Elok]

The average seventeen and eighteen-year-old what? Student? Uneducated protester? Hindu Nationalist Militia member? What medium will be printing it? I want more info about who the audience is going to be before commenting.

I mean, if you want to rabble-rouse people who are already on your side, this would be splendid; you sound almost like Lenin to me (actual Commies may be able to tell you more about how to emulate Lenin). But if you're aiming to convince the undecided it won't work super-well, and the skeptical will be downright repelled. The tone of it isn't too thoughtful, it's just the voice of a man damning his enemies.

As far as technical points, I can't really tell someone how to write better short of rewriting whatever he's presented, line by line. It's all about finding a voice you're comfortable writing in, and which lets you express yourself most fully. That comes only with practice.

But I'd advise you to learn to use semicolons every once in a while instead of just commas. Also, avoid constructions such as "now let us consider X." They sound stiff and formal, for one thing. For another, I'm deeply suspicious of anything which draws the reader's attention to the artificial structure of the essay itself, thereby "breaking the spell." The best persuasive writing, while styled differently from rhetoric, has the flow of spoken words--it moves from topic to topic without interjections to announce that it's moving.

As for beginning sentences with "and," as mentioned earlier, I see no problem with the practice provided it's used in moderation. The "never start sentences with 'and'" rule was invented by exasperated schoolteachers after grading papers wherein every sentence after the first started with "and." Really it's a matter of personal taste, and standards vary from place to place, but I typically ignore all rules which disrupt the functionality of the prose. Rule of thumb: read your work aloud when critiquing it. You notice faults a lot more easily that way.

[Heresson]

Originally posted by LordShiva
Make some Civ4 scns

Play my civ2 scns!

[LordShiva]

Originally posted by Heresson
Play my civ2 scns!

Only if there's a frog scn

[Heresson]

there are not, but I've placed frogs as resources in some of my scns; Fading Lights and Mamluks scns are totally green, too

[Donegeal]

Yea! Our crusade against aneeshm space bar seems to be working!