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  • #76
    Originally posted by Spiffor

    Except that they often had had superior, German-made weapons. The Italians had more trouble conquering gunpowedered equipped Africans, but that's obvious. But such defeats can also happen to non-loserish countries, such as Britain. And Isandhlwana was a defeat against spear-equipped Zulus!
    There is no equivalent of Isandhlwana in the French conquest of Africa and Asia. That's because we had competent generals at the time.




    "The French faced other opposition as well in the area. The superior of a religious brotherhood, Muhyi ad Din, who had spent time in Ottoman jails for opposing the bey's rule, launched attacks against the French and their makhzen allies at Oran in 1832. In the same year, tribal elders chose Muhyi ad Din's son, twenty-five-year-old Abd al Qadir, to take his place leading the jihad. Abd al Qadir, who was recognized as Amir al-Muminin (commander of the faithful), quickly gained the support of tribes throughout Algeria. A devout and austere marabout, he was also a cunning political leader and a resourceful warrior. From his capital in Tlemcen, Abd al Qadir set about building a territorial Muslim state based on the communities of the interior but drawing its strength from the tribes and religious brotherhoods. By 1839, he controlled more than two-thirds of Algeria. His government maintained an army and a bureaucracy, collected taxes, supported education, undertook public works, and established agricultural and manufacturing cooperatives to stimulate economic activity.

    The French in Algiers viewed with concern the success of a Muslim government and the rapid growth of a viable territorial state that barred the extension of European settlement. Abd al Qadir fought running battles across Algeria with French forces, which included units of the Foreign Legion, organized in 1831 for Algerian service. Although his forces were defeated by the French under General Thomas Bugeaud in 1836, Abd al Qadir negotiated a favorable peace treaty the next year. The treaty gained conditional recognition for Abd al Qadir's regime by defining the territory under its control and salvaged his prestige among the tribes just as the shaykhs were about to desert him. To provoke new hostilities, the French deliberately broke the treaty in 1839 by occupying Constantine. Abd al Qadir took up the holy war again, destroyed the French settlements on the Mitidja Plain, and at one point advanced to the outskirts of Algiers itself. He struck where the French were weakest and retreated when they advanced against him in greater strength. The government moved from camp to camp with the amir and his army. Gradually, however, superior French resources and manpower and the defection of tribal chieftains took their toll. Reinforcements poured into Algeria after 1840 until Bugeaud had at his disposal 108,000 men, one-third of the French army. Bugeaud's strategy was to destroy Abd al Qadir's bases, then to starve the population by destroying its means of subsistence — crops, orchards, and herds. On several occasions, French troops burned or asphyxiated noncombatants hiding from the terror in caves. One by one, the amir's strongholds fell to the French, and many of his ablest commanders were killed or captured so that by 1843 the Muslim state had collapsed. Abd al Qadir took refuge with his ally, the sultan of Morocco, Abd ar Rahman II, and launched raids into Algeria. However, Abd al Qadir was obliged to surrender to the commander of Oran Province, General Louis de Lamoricière, at the end of 1847."

    The French finally did manage to take control over Algeria, but then the Brits managed to take over Zululand. And rather faster.



    As for WW1, by the time it was won the Commonwealth had a very large section of the western front. The war was won by France, AND the US, and the UK, and Canada, and Australia, and New Zealand.
    "A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become human, is what this individual person, has been created for.” Martin Buber

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    • #77
      I'm far too lazy to look it up, but I've never encountered a single historical account of the HYW that seriously suggested it was "won" by French prowess. The English just got sick of the war and walked--er, sailed--away, perhaps because they'd used up all their arrows inflicting fatal wounds on your knights. Perhaps you learned differently in "How France repelled the invaders and simultaneously invented fire, the wheel, and sliced bread: a fifth-grade primer," by J. Chirac. I don't know.

      At any rate, I never made any claims about France's performance compared to other countries in any specific war. I merely said that your country has little experience with victory overall. Other countries have kicked some butt and taken some names at various points, or else had the sense not to try.

      I'm certainly not going to put research into this, though. I merely made the comment based on the well-known stereotype that the French can't win a war, which appears to be quite accurate based on everything I have ever read. Maybe it isn't, but truth and falsehood are beside the point of a troll.
      1011 1100
      Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

      Comment


      • #78
        Originally posted by BlackCat
        71 postings and noone has yet managed to mention the one and only thing that is worth anything from that country :

        beer
        well, then we still beat you by a long shot because your only export product ever (besides fake feta) was viking barbarism
        "Ceterum censeo Ben esse expellendum."

        Comment


        • #79
          Spiffor: 1302 is one of the many years you got your ass handed to you (in this particular occasion by some Flemish farmers)

          Elok, the French were the dominant continental empire for more than 150 years. They did win quite more battles that whatever country your from.

          And to compare: how many REAL victories did the US obtain again ? I can only remember 2 : ww2 (with a lot of help from the russians) and korea. in ww1 you helped brake the stalemate but the war was won by the french and the british, credit where credit is due
          "Ceterum censeo Ben esse expellendum."

          Comment


          • #80
            Originally posted by Spiffor



            Shakespeare was only an average author, and the only reason he's so famous today is because he was the only acceptable author you had in that era, that you can advertise upon
            Dearie me, poor uncultured Frog.

            Never heard of John Donne, or Milton, or John Webster, or Middleton or....

            No, still stuck with deadly dreary Corneille and slightly less dull Racine.

            Still, Moliere was quite amusing....
            Vive la liberte. Noor Inayat Khan, Dachau.

            ...patriotism is not enough. I must have no hatred or bitterness towards anyone. Edith Cavell, 1915

            Comment


            • #81
              Originally posted by lord of the mark


              Kennedy - one president, in office for 3 years, makes a dynasty?

              Bushes - when Dubya finishes his term, the combined period in office of the Bush family will be 12 years. Compare that to the time in office of Tony Blair, or Margaret Thatcher.
              I do hope someone buys you a sense of humour, as you show no signs of cultivating or developing one yourself.


              The Bush Dynasty:

              Daddy Bush is head of the C.I.A. for President Ford; then Vice President for Reagan; then President in his own right.

              Then one son becomes Governor of Texas, and another son becomes Governor of Florida. Did I fail to mention the financial aid that Jeb's campaign in Florida received from Texas ? Oh, I did.

              Then thanks to the son who is Governor of Florida and judges chosen by Big Daddy Emperorness Bush and Reagan, the son who was Governor of Texas becomes President too !


              Still, it's not just me who thinks the Bush Family have dynastic ambitions or 'qualities':

              His Emperorness George Herbert Walker Bush I:

              Just wait till I turn these Bush boys out.
              to Joseph Kennedy (father of President John F. Kennedy, Attorney General and brother of J.F. and assassinated Presidential candidate, Robert Kennedy, and of Senator Edward Kennedy (also a presidential candidate until Mary Jo Kopechne ceased swimming).

              Perhaps he felt the Kennedys had an unfair advantage, being Roman Catholics. He could be happier now since His Dauphinity Governor Jeb Bush (see above, Governor of Florida) converted to Catholicism.

              On the eve of the Republican convention in 1996, His Imperiate Highestness George H. W. Bush intriguingly brought up the subject of Joseph Kennedy all by himself :

              "It'd be wonderful!" [if his first son were ever to be President] he remarked to a reporter.

              'But it's not- I'm not like Joe Kennedy sitting there:

              " Here's a couple of hundred thousand- go out and win the West Virginia primary."

              I, you know, it's not a scheme. It's not a dynasty, it's a legacy." ( )

              Oh how we can laugh about that now.


              In 'George Bush: Man of Integrity', publ. 1988 (apparently not deliberately meant to be a work of irony, or satire):

              It is impossible to understand the Vice President outside the context of his own family. There is an electricity, a special magic, when Barbara and the children are nearby.

              When all four boys recently appeared with their father on a morning television talk-show, the telephone lines lit up for hours. Some said that they were reminded of the Kennedys, that they had never seen so many young men in the same family so bright and handsome and personable.
              George Bush with Doug Wead


              Definitions of dynasty:

              ...a sequence of powerful leaders in the same family
              A dynasty is a family or extended family which retains political power across generations, or more generally, any organization which extends dominance in its field even as its particular members change. See also: family dictatorship.

              Note- the House of Windsor, monarchy and dynasty though it may be, shows no signs of being able to arrange for the Court of Appeals or the High Court to be packed with placemen or placewomen of their own choosing.
              Last edited by molly bloom; July 25, 2006, 08:03.
              Vive la liberte. Noor Inayat Khan, Dachau.

              ...patriotism is not enough. I must have no hatred or bitterness towards anyone. Edith Cavell, 1915

              Comment


              • #82
                Originally posted by dannubis
                Elok, the French were the dominant continental empire for more than 150 years. They did win quite more battles that whatever country your from.

                And to compare: how many REAL victories did the US obtain again ? I can only remember 2 : ww2 (with a lot of help from the russians) and korea. in ww1 you helped brake the stalemate but the war was won by the french and the british, credit where credit is due
                Okay, what 150 year period are you referring to?

                PS: American Revolution? Civil War? Gulf War I, not that that's anything impressive?
                1011 1100
                Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

                Comment


                • #83
                  Originally posted by Elok
                  PS: American Revolution?
                  Ah yes. Yet another French victory. Thanks for reminding
                  "I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
                  "I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
                  "I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis

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                  • #84
                    [SIZE=1] Originally posted by molly bloom


                    ...a sequence of powerful leaders in the same family


                    quote:
                    A dynasty is a family or extended family which retains political power across generations, or more generally, any organization which extends dominance in its field even as its particular members change. See also: family dictatorship


                    By this definition, the Chamberlains, father and son, are a dynasty. Or the Churchills. Thats just off the top of my head - Im sure someone better versed in British political history could come up with a bunch of "dynasties".


                    In fact the Benns are a dynasty as well.

                    As for sense of humor, I dont automatically treat something that is not funny, but is over the top exagerated (and bitter to boot) as a "joke".
                    Last edited by lord of the mark; July 25, 2006, 11:48.
                    "A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become human, is what this individual person, has been created for.” Martin Buber

                    Comment


                    • #85
                      Originally posted by Spiffor

                      Ah yes. Yet another French victory. Thanks for reminding
                      Overall a joint franco-american victory (the French did okay after the US left the war, cause the Brits were afraid of all Europe coalescing against them)

                      But it WAS a brilliant grand strategic move on the French part. And the Battle of the Capes was a pure French naval victory.
                      "A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become human, is what this individual person, has been created for.” Martin Buber

                      Comment


                      • #86
                        Originally posted by lord of the mark
                        Overall a joint franco-american victory
                        Indeed, but you understand that Elok deserves all the counter-trolling he can get
                        "I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
                        "I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
                        "I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis

                        Comment


                        • #87
                          Originally posted by dannubis


                          well, then we still beat you by a long shot because your only export product ever (besides fake feta) was viking barbarism
                          Here in the last best hope of mankind, we make fake havarti, and fake Danish Blue.
                          "A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become human, is what this individual person, has been created for.” Martin Buber

                          Comment


                          • #88
                            Originally posted by Spiffor

                            Indeed, but you understand that Elok deserves all the counter-trolling he can get

                            If I accepted counter trolling as an excuse, I wouldnt have nearly as many opportunities to counter Molly, now would I?
                            "A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become human, is what this individual person, has been created for.” Martin Buber

                            Comment


                            • #89


                              - Gallic Wars
                              - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.]

                              - Hundred Years War
                              - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

                              - Italian Wars
                              - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

                              - Wars of Religion
                              - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

                              - Thirty Years War
                              - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

                              - War of Revolution
                              - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

                              - The Dutch War
                              - Tied

                              - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
                              - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

                              - War of the Spanish Succession
                              - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

                              - American Revolution
                              - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

                              - French Revolution
                              - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

                              - The Napoleonic Wars
                              - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

                              - The Franco-Prussian War
                              - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

                              - World War I
                              - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

                              - World War II
                              - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

                              - War in Indochina
                              - Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

                              - Algerian Rebellion
                              - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

                              - War on Terrorism
                              - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

                              The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"

                              "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."

                              Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you."

                              With only an hour and a half of research, Jonathan Duczkowski provided the following losses:

                              Norse invasions, 841-911.
                              After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) who gave them Normandy in return for peace. Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years.

                              Mexico, 1863-1864.
                              France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). Booted out of the country a little over a year after arrival.

                              Panama jungles 1881-1890.
                              No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914.

                              Napoleonic Wars.
                              Should be noted that the Grand Armee was largely (~%50) composed of non-Frenchmen after 1804 or so. Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions.

                              Haiti, 1791-1804.
                              French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally.

                              India, 1673-1813.
                              British were far more charming than French, ended up victors. Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine...). Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England.

                              Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830.
                              Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815.

                              1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S.
                              French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. U.S. fights France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next 200 years of Franco-American relations.

                              Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s.
                              Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day.

                              French-on-French losses (probably should be counted as victories too, just to be fair):

                              1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French.
                              When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. God will know His own." Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children.

                              St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572.
                              Once again, French-on-French slaughter.

                              Third Crusade.
                              Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish.

                              Seventh Crusade.
                              St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. Resoundingly crushed.

                              [Eighth] Crusade.
                              St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. See Seventh Crusade.

                              Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. By doing so, the Germans would have been breaking with their traditional route of invading France, entering through Belgium (Napoleonic Wars, Franco-Prussian War, World War I, etc.). French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses.

                              Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me:

                              Seven year War 1756-1763
                              Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some Brits. War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and India (Clive at Plassey).

                              Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following:

                              The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. This ended their colonialism. About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair.
                              With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

                              Steven Weinberg

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                              • #90
                                This is at least the 4th time I see it on 'Poly. And it's a conservative estimate.

                                I imagine that's what Elok referred to when he was talking about "everything [he] has ever read"
                                "I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
                                "I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
                                "I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis

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