How's this for a resume?

[Pekka]

It's better, but I don't know about the format of the resume. Again, this might be a cultural difference. However, the content is better now IMO.

I would also leave the 'thousands of dollars' away.... thousands of dollars doesn't seem like much money so.. I'd take it off too.

For example, I'm handling bills of tens of thousands of dollars all the time in my summer job, and supervise the operating of machinery worth millions of dollars and production of hundreds of thousands every single day.

So, thousands of dollars doesn't seem much.. it means ordinary bills, running costs of a small area. Leave it up to their imagination. If they ask, then you should tell, but if they don't ask, don't tell.

Anyway I like this one much better, I get an idea what you have done and what you want to do in short, yet descriptive manner. And I like that I can see some of your broader goals here, and how you are going to get it in an organization. It's something I'd want to know without asking so.. I think it's much improved now

I'm not sure if it's golden yet. But it's better... something everyone needs to understand and I'm sure you do, but scoring a job is all about the resume and then the interview. Resume gets your interview, so it's a 2-step process so there's a point to put a lot of effort in both. And when you land the first 'good job', then you can advance and get better jobs etc.. baby steps, but the first is excellent resume. It's not even THAT important what you have in it as in credentials, as long as you have a great resume otherwise, something that makes the recruiter think 'hmm, he doesn't have all the requirements but I want to check this guy out'..

Long story short, I think you're going to the right direction, but don't consider this the final version, because there won't be a final version. I sent my resume today to another position and polished the resume once again.. it's a never ending task!!

But we have HR people here.. at least Boris is.. where is he anyway? He could give you an expert opinion. Also, I have gotten a lot of good tips from rah, I'd want his opinion... he can spot the golden nuggets.

[BlackCat]

Is it Poly that break up your sentences ? If not, then get them back in line.

[snoopy369]

Actually, several thousand dollars on a daily basis is a decent amount of money for a retail/food establishment. Not huge, but a retail store that does $10m a year (pretty good for retail) typically has something around $4000-$5000 in cash on a daily basis.

[Pekka]

Right, I'm not saying it's bad for the business itself. I'm saying in general it's not a lot of money. It's only one step from hundreds of dollars. The point is, if I'm going to mention the money, it means I consider it to be quite big numbers.

Do you consider thousands of dollars to be so big that you would choose to state that in your resume as one thing (and discard some other things?).

I would all in all try to avoid numbers and figures.

But this is just me.

[snoopy369]

As someone who would hire a retail employee based partially on cash handling, I'd say that establishing a reasonable level of cash handling responsibility is important to hiring someone in a cash handling position. It all depends on what sort of position he's looking at, of course; i'm interpreting that he is looking at a position as a low level manager in a retail or retail food establishment. I'd certainly much prefer to hire someone who advertised cash handling experience to someone who didn't, whether as a cashier or as a manager.

It's not that he's trying to say, 'look I had a lot of money to play with', or even trying to 'impress' anyone.

He's trying to establish that he is responsible and was trusted to handle a reasonable amount of cash on a daily basis.

[Pekka]

So why do you need figures to prove that?

you are wrong snoopy, you are wrong!

[snoopy369]

Why would you leave the figures out? That would bring more questions to my mind than putting them in. Anyone who's in this business knows the level of cash handled in this sort of position, so it's not like you're surprising anyone ... so you should include it to show you're not hiding anything.

[Pekka]

Yeah if you're desperate you should tell what you had for a dinner.

Then again, weren't you the male prostitute from bangkok? 'nuff said.

[snoopy369]

No, that's sn00py. I'm the retail manager who's experienced in hiring

[Lancer]

Better.

Try to work the word 'cockfighting' in there somewhere.

[Stuie]

I like this better:

I am a Finance major at Temple University seeking an opportunity to use my skills and knowledge to gain a position which would provide the foundation for a successful managerial career.

As a shift manager I have actively managed groups of up to ten people on a daily basis and administered larger numbers of employees through scheduling in order to attain and exceed sales goals while balancing labor and product costs. My efforst have regularly kept labor costs at least 15% lower than other shift managers at my place of employment.

I have performed daily reconciliation of cash amounts in excess of several thousand dollars and accurately prepared and executed cash deposits. I have used statistical models for inventory management, forecasting, and other operations management tasks and have maintained and filed financial, operational, and payroll records. Finally, I designed an algorithm for projecting future sales which is more accurate than the previous moving average system used by my employer.

But then again, I graduated from Temple with a BA in English, so I'm probably not your best resource.

Edit: and this, as someone pointed out, is cover letter stuff, not for the resume.

[Flubber]

Originally posted by Pekka

Long story short, I think you're going to the right direction, but don't consider this the final version, because there won't be a final version. I sent my resume today to another position and polished the resume once again.. it's a never ending task!!

Agreed -- I do not think I have ever used an identical resume twice. There is always some little tweak which you can find to make for a particular opportunity