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Spiffor, your past self sounds very much like my current self. You seemed to have moved on from that, however. People have often accused me of being unemotional or cold, because I never express my emotions, never let go of my control on them.
I'd rather like to believe that emotions serve a purpose, and that once they stop serving that purpose, they are no longer useful.
If I feel anger towards another person, or jealousy, or any of the other emotions that make us super rational people think emotions are bad, I use this as a message to myself. It tells me that I need to explain to the other individual why I feel the way I feel, and how strongly I feel what I feel.
But I do not think emotions should be used against others. Though I may want to yell at someone when I am angry with them, yelling does not serve a purpose. Anger might serve a purpose, but irrational expression of that anger won't.
For this reason I believe it is important to attempt to understand one's own emotions, and this does indeed involve thinking. Telling yourself that your emotions cannot be understood or that they are too complicated or irrational is a cop out. They are your emotions, they are part of your identity, and you should be able to know them as well as you know the back of your hand.
If you can't control, or use, or understand your own emotions, can you really call them your own?
I'd rather like to believe that emotions serve a purpose, and that once they stop serving that purpose, they are no longer useful.
If I feel anger towards another person, or jealousy, or any of the other emotions that make us super rational people think emotions are bad, I use this as a message to myself. It tells me that I need to explain to the other individual why I feel the way I feel, and how strongly I feel what I feel.
But I do not think emotions should be used against others. Though I may want to yell at someone when I am angry with them, yelling does not serve a purpose. Anger might serve a purpose, but irrational expression of that anger won't.
For this reason I believe it is important to attempt to understand one's own emotions, and this does indeed involve thinking. Telling yourself that your emotions cannot be understood or that they are too complicated or irrational is a cop out. They are your emotions, they are part of your identity, and you should be able to know them as well as you know the back of your hand.
If you can't control, or use, or understand your own emotions, can you really call them your own?
Sooo sad for you. 
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