Some Scumbag Stole My Bike

[Arrian]

Sorry, Che. That sucks.

-Arrian

[Sikander]

Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui
Yeah... it's revenge time

It sounds like a great idea for a blaxploitation movie.

Chegitz follows his dream of becoming a successful bicycle racer, and returns triumphantly to "the hood". But some gangbangers are jealous of his success and his "just say no" lifestyle, and they decide to steal his bike and use it as leverage over him. Chegitz takes his nephew to the corner store for ice cream, and leaves his nephew to look after his bike while he goes into the store.

As Chegitz converses pleasantly with the clerk, outside the music turns ominous as 4 gang bangers in a low rider swoop into the parking lot, insult Chegitz's nephew and push him to the pavement where he scrapes his knees. Chegitz hears the commotion and rushes out to find his nephew crying on the pavement, with two bloody knees pointing his finger toward the low rider which is vanishing in the distance. Chegitz picks up his nephew and screams nooooo!

The police arrive several hours later to take a report on the stolen bike.

Chegitz: It took you honkeys long enough to get here.

Cop: Hey man, you're lucky we got here at all, it's a bad neighborhood filled with bad dudes.

Chegitz: Talk to the hand white man. While you were stuffing your face with donuts some gang bangers took out my nephew and made off with my racing bike. I need that bike to have any chance of winning the French Tour next month.

Cop: Sorry about your nephew, brother. Really, that's tough. And I doubt that we can recover your bike. By now it's probably parts spread in bike shops all over the city. But if it's any help, I remember that a gang called the Shenanigans has been pulling a lot of bike rip-offs in the neighborhood lately. This sounds like their work. You might ask around.

Chegitz: I'll do that Cop. Thanks man, you're all right.

Cop: Be careful man. The Shenanigans are dangerous, and this neighborhood has few enough heroes as it is.

Chegitz: Don't worry man, I'll give you a call if I find them.

Cop: Smart move man. I'll "check" you later.

Bystander: You aren't really gonna let the police handle this are you Chegitz, I mean they aint solved a crime around here in 13 years!

Chegitz. No man, I was just getting rid of the fuzz. As for The Shenanigans.....They just fvcked with the wrong commie.

[Sikander]

Oh, and sorry about your bike Chegitz.

[Japher]

I think I know who took it:



It is located in the basement of the Alamo!

[Q Classic]

Che, I'm sorry to hear about your bike.

That said, that OP phrase sounds way too similiar to something you'd find at ytmnd.

[alva]

So, no one feels sorry my bike got stolen only two weeks ago?!

[Arrian]

I didn't know your bike was stolen, alva. Sorry to hear it.

I can see it now: FOX NEWS UPDATE: rash of bicycle theft sweeps the world! Commies on the rampage? We report, you decide.

-Arrian

[Japher]

damn, my pic is now a red

edit: nm, it's back

[Q Classic]

Also: Che:

This is what you get for selling out to the man and cutting all of your hair.

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by alva
So, no one feels sorry my bike got stolen only two weeks ago?!

You're not a pissed off commie, just another guy who got ripped off.

[VetLegion]

Sikander that cracked me up

[alva]

Originally posted by Kidicious


You're not a pissed off commie, just another guy who got ripped off.

I was a little pissed off at the time, does that count?

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by alva

I was a little pissed off at the time, does that count?

[Winston]

I would check to see if there are any Bolivians living in the neighbourhood. It's a poorly kept secret that bicycle chains have oil on them, and some of it has got to be Bolivian.

[Dis]

Originally posted by Adagio


Sucks... I had that happen to me twice... both times I got the bike back though

The first time it happened, I was living in a small town, where you only put locks on new bikes... One day the bike was gone, but later that day I found it about 50 meters from where I lived, in the same condition as it was stolen
The second time happened many years later, in the city I live in now. I borrowed a bike from my brother (very old bike... without a lock), took it downtown where I parked it in the middle of the day... a few hours later it was gone... no big suprise, but the bike wasn't really worth anything, so no loss... the big suprise happened the day after, when I found the bike in the exact same spot as we left it earlier... I guess they found out they couldn't get anything from selling the bike

sounds like they seriously needed only to borrow the bike, and didn't need it permanently. Perhaps they needed to get somewhere in a hurry.