I'm a nice guy, but I am very hostile.

[chequita guevara]

Originally posted by Asher
Being polite (which is really a form of socially acceptable lying in many cases) is not what stopped us from being uncivilized.

Just because you're such an *******/insecure that you can't conceive of honest politeness doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. It is, in fact, the main form of relations between people on a day to day level.

Survival in the wild depends on building strong bonds with your fellow travelors, and politeness is the most effective way of building that bond. If you spent a little less time with machines and a little more time studying how humans and other primate interact you might actually know what you were writing about.

[Asher]

Originally posted by Spiffor
Social relationships that are respectful to other people.

I know it's hard to fathom, considering that in every social relationship you have, you consider the others to be crap, regardless on whether you insult them or hypocritically praise them.

But maybe one day you'll understand what respect means, and you'll feel more condescension for your current opinions than I do

Respect is earned, not given to everyone.

Perhaps my "problem" is high standards.

I do respect people I have a relationship of any sort with. I dismiss people I do not respect, and do not have relationships with them.

[Asher]

Originally posted by chegitz guevara
Just because you're such an *******/insecure that you can't conceive of honest politeness doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.

Read it again, ace. Do you understand the meaning of "most"?

It is, in fact, the main form of relations between people on a day to day level.

BS. Most politeness is superficial protocol.

Survival in the wild depends on building strong bonds with your fellow travelors, and politeness is the most effective way of building that bond. If you spent a little less time with machines and a little more time studying how humans and other primate interact you might actually know what you were writing about.

Survival is not dependent on politeless. That is absolutely absurd to assert.

[Spiffor]

Originally posted by Asher
I do respect people I have a relationship of any sort with. I dismiss people I do not respect, and do not have relationships with them.

Your discussions with Agathon and Drake must have been fragments of my imagination then.

[Asher]

Originally posted by Spiffor
Your discussions with Agathon and Drake must have been fragments of my imagination then.

Please don't play with semantics, Spiffor. It's a sign of weakness.

[chequita guevara]

Well, you want to believe what you believe because then you can feel justified about your view of others and not feel bad that no one likes you.

You, however, do little other than make BAMs, about human nature. No real point in continuing this conversation.

[Asher]

Originally posted by chegitz guevara
Well, you want to believe what you believe because then you can feel justified about your view of others and not feel bad that no one likes you.

You, however, do little other than make BAMs, about human nature. No real point in continuing this conversation.

Che, you just asserted that politeness is what got humans out of the jungles and into the modern world. And then you say I do little other than make BAMs.

Che, you've got almost no qualifications to make statements about anything. People tolerate your opinions here because they're being polite, but you say some really crazy sh*t and most people here don't have the spine to say anything about it.

[Colonâ„¢]

I'll ascribe to Asher's view about politeness. It pretty much boils down to an acceptable form of deception. The reason most people won't view it like that is because, unlike people with Asperger's, they're far less aware of it when they're using social mannerisms. To them it's often a subconscious and automatic process, while people with Asperger's have to learn it consciously and delibateraly.
Overall, I'm a bit mystified why people find it so hard to accept that not everyone is equiped with the same abilities to socialise. Nobody doubts autism exists, nor blames their behaviour on lack of willingness to integrate, so why doubt you can have milder and different forms?

BTW here's an article that's right on cue: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4661402.stm

[Asher]

Originally posted by Colonâ„¢
I'll ascribe to Asher's view about politeness. It pretty much boils down to an acceptable form of deception. The reason most people won't view it like that is because, unlike people with Asperger's, they're far less aware of it when they're using social mannerisms. To them it's often a subconscious and automatic process, while people with Asperger's have to learn it consciously and delibateraly.

Precisely.

Most politeness is a result of protocol that most people aren't even consciously aware of.

I had a helluva time dealing with even smalltalk with people for a long time because it was actually something that was hard for me to do. It comes naturally to a lot of people, others not so naturally.

[Spiffor]

Originally posted by Asher
Please don't play with semantics, Spiffor. It's a sign of weakness.

In all honesty, it must be a problem of language. For the French-speaking sociologist trainee that I am, "relations sociales" encompass pretty much every discussion between people. I wasn't talking exclusively about romantic relationships or friendships, but about everything that constitutes our social environment (such as posters on a bulletin board, colleagues, neighbour, co-gymnast etc.).

I.e all the people you are likely to talk to, and with whom you precisely don't share specific protocols (with your friends, "azzhole" might be seen as a nice word, it is likely not to be the case with your boss).

Politeness with these semi-unknown people doesn't necessarily involve lying. For example, on 'Poly, we all share a basic politeness of typing correct English. Its n0t l|k3 u or I tyP3 in a m4nN34 th4t |Z Sp3c|f|c t0 c34t4|n circles. This politeness considerably improves 'Poly as a community. And we tend to shout down or rificule the people who type like crap, precisely because we like it that way. It is not superfluous protocol: it belongs to the things that make 'Poly what it is. It's one of the reasons why we don't look like the Diablo2 forums

[Asher]

I don't consider typing in correct English to be polite...I consider it to be conducive to communication.

[Provost Harrison]

Actually people writing in text speak or '1337' speak is the equivalent to someone running their fingers down a blackboard to me. If you're a proficient typer like myself, there is absolutely no saving to finding shortcuts when trying to type out a message. Hell, I don't even do it when sending a message on my mobile, I still try to stick with proper English...

[Spiffor]

Originally posted by Asher
I don't consider typing in correct English to be polite...I consider it to be conducive to communication.

Two sides of the same coin.

People are more likely to read your posts if you type the correct English they prefer. their more likly 2 ignore u if u typ lik crap.
People are more likely to read your posts (or listen to your arguments) if you don't piss them off outright and purposefully.

Besides, if you wish to express criticism, your criticism is likely to be more heeded if you put it in a way that will promote a questioning by the other, rather than putting him on the defensive immediately.
That's the difference between "Civ3 sucks donkey balls and Sid does bestiality LOLOLLOLL" and "Civ3 lacks X and Y for the following reasons, and we need X and Y in the next patch". Both cites are honest (in that the poster says what he thinks), but the latter manages to be polite as well.

[Provost Harrison]

The other thing to bear in mind is that when reading, there is no tone to infer the meaning from, so words have to be chosen very carefully...

[BlackCat]

Originally posted by Provost Harrison
Actually people writing in text speak or '1337' speak is the equivalent to someone running their fingers down a blackboard to me. If you're a proficient typer like myself, there is absolutely no saving to finding shortcuts when trying to type out a message. Hell, I don't even do it when sending a message on my mobile, I still try to stick with proper English...

That is quite fine when you are talking about rosbifs, canucks, yanks, sheepbangers, cangoroos and those from that other island - just don't expect perfect english from the rest of the world