20 Best Excuses for Calling in Sick

[rah]

We get 10 a year, (on top of our normal vacation days)
That we can use however we want. We can even sell a few every year to go towards our employee contribution to benefits)

So there are no sound effects when someone calls in. They say I need to take the day. Some managers don't like you to call in the same morning unless you're actually sick, but that's not a rule.

Most people consider them extra vacation days.

If you exceed the 10, (and don't use long term illness) they are unpaid days and you're subject to discipline depending on the circumstances. Cronic no shows can still be documented and eventually fired.

Actually if you don't show for 5 days in a row without contact, (unless you're in a coma or held hostage) you can be fired without warning.

[duke o' york]

So those who turn up at work with a shocking cold, and infect the other people in the office (like, er, me for example. ) will be rewarded for not taking the day off?
Actually, I had last Tuesday off because of my cold, but my going in on Monday and Wednesday managed to spread it quite effectively.

[rah]

No illness policy will stop that. There are too many workaholics that will go in work on their death bed.

Wash your hands alot and don't touch people.
With the modern Sexual harrasment rules, it's always safest to not just make physical contact.

[Japher]

what Sexual Harrasment rules

don't say that
you have me worried now

[rah]

I have a lot of geeks working for me, and almost all of them are socially innept. (kinda like here )
I have had two accused already, for totally inocent stuff, but it didn't matter since the woman percieved it as harrassment. So you can't be too careful these days, so it's best not to make ANY physical contact.

Neither employee was terminated but were quite embarassed having to deal with HR over them.

[duke o' york]

I don't touch that many people at the office anyway. Not even the hot women.
My sneezing and phenomenally loud nose-blowing, on the other hand, will ensure that the pox spreadeth.
Unfortunately, I haven't got the time to show off by offering to do some of the ill people's work and endear myself to the management. Besides, most of my superiors fear me anyway, because I control their budgets! Muhahahahaha........

[Japher]

I don't touch them
I just touch myself and call 'em my "hoes"

[Provost Harrison]

Originally posted by rah
We get 10 a year, (on top of our normal vacation days)
That we can use however we want. We can even sell a few every year to go towards our employee contribution to benefits)

So there are no sound effects when someone calls in. They say I need to take the day. Some managers don't like you to call in the same morning unless you're actually sick, but that's not a rule.

Most people consider them extra vacation days.

If you exceed the 10, (and don't use long term illness) they are unpaid days and you're subject to discipline depending on the circumstances. Cronic no shows can still be documented and eventually fired.

Actually if you don't show for 5 days in a row without contact, (unless you're in a coma or held hostage) you can be fired without warning.

So what happens if someone is ill for a prolonged period? Would they then be cut off by the company and be paid no further after 10 days?

[SlowwHand]

I have a lot of geeks working for me, and almost all of them are socially innept. (kinda like here )

HA! Hahahahahahaha!

[Gibsie]

I wonder if PH will be calling in sick tomorrow with the excuse, "I was trying to explain how QA works to a complete idiot, but he was so stupid that he made my head explode"?

[Jon Miller]

I think that there are federal employees, that when you add in vacation days and sick days.. you get 1/4 of the work days of th e year (this is for the higher GS levels)

JM

[rah]

Originally posted by Provost Harrison
So what happens if someone is ill for a prolonged period? Would they then be cut off by the company and be paid no further after 10 days?

That is considered a long term illness and covered under different rules. Long term dissability is also covered under different rules.

But on the long term illness they require you to use all you personal days before the other rules come into effect.

[Provost Harrison]

Originally posted by rah


That is considered a long term illness and covered under different rules. Long term dissability is also covered under different rules.

But on the long term illness they require you to use all you personal days before the other rules come into effect.

Ah that's cool. That would work pretty well for me...I never get prolonged illness, if I have a day off I can shake most things in that period. And it would be great for that odd day you really just feel awful where instead you just have to struggle in (because I work shifts this isn't uncommon).

[Jon Miller]

generally long term illness is different then disability

JM

[Dis]

Originally posted by rah
I have a lot of geeks working for me, and almost all of them are socially innept. (kinda like here )
I have had two accused already, for totally inocent stuff, but it didn't matter since the woman percieved it as harrassment. So you can't be too careful these days, so it's best not to make ANY physical contact.

Neither employee was terminated but were quite embarassed having to deal with HR over them.

if you don't mind, what kind of stuff was it? now you got me kind of concerned (and I am socially inept ). I work for a very friendly company, and I do put my arms around women sometimes- though they started it . I have never hugged unless I've been hugged first.