Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

20 Best Excuses for Calling in Sick

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • 20 Best Excuses for Calling in Sick

    20 Best Excuses for Calling in Sick

    By Kate Lorenz, CareerBuilder.com Editor

    You've heard of the dog who ate homework, but what about the cat who unplugged the alarm clock? These days, people are getting very creative when they don't want to go to work.

    In CareerBuilder's survey "Out of the Office," more than one-third of U.S. workers say they played hooky from work over the last twelve months. Thirty-five percent of workers admit to calling in sick when they felt well at least once during the last year and one-in-ten said they did so three or more times.

    Why are they calling in sick? The top three motivators for faking include attending to personal errands and appointments, catching up on sleep and simply relaxing. The reasons also include attending a child's event, bad weather, making plans with friends and going on a job interview.

    "It's a popular time of year for employees to call in sick," said Rosemary Haefner, Senior Career Advisor for CareerBuilder.com. "However, the number of those who are actually feeling under the weather may not necessarily match up with unscheduled absences. Twenty percent of workers say they called into work because they just didn't feel like going into the office that day. One-in-four workers report they feel sick days are equivalent to extra vacation days and treat them as such."

    The 2004 CCH Unscheduled Absence Survey, conducted for CCH by Harris Interactive® confirmed this trend. CCH found most employees who fail to show up for work, however, aren't physically ill, according to the survey. In fact, the study found only 38 percent of unscheduled absences are due to personal illness, while 62 percent are for other reasons, including family issues (23 percent), personal needs (18 percent), stress (11 percent) and entitlement mentality (10 percent).

    One trend that also may be influencing the higher rate of unscheduled absences is the fact that the number of employers allowing employees to carry over sick time from one year to the next is trending downward and has dropped from more than one-half of companies (51 percent) in 2000 to 37 percent in 2004. As a result, employees may be saying, "I'd rather use it than lose it," noted Lori Rosen, J.D., CCH workplace analyst, and author of HR Networking: Work-Life Benefits.

    But could you get away with saying you had to go to your mother's dog's funeral or that you had brain cancer? Would you believe an employee who had the swine flu, forgot the way to work, or was arrested because of mistaken identity? Think carefully, if you're debating calling in sick, here are some of the most unusual excuses workers gave for missing work



    I was sprayed by a skunk.


    I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.


    My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.


    I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.


    I forgot to come back to work after lunch.


    I couldn't find my shoes.


    I hurt myself bowling.


    I was spit on by a venomous snake.


    I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.


    A hitman was looking for me.


    My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.


    I eloped.


    My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.


    My cat unplugged my alarm clock.


    I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.


    I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India.


    I forgot what day of the week it was.


    Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.


    A tree fell on my car.


    My monkey died.
    No doubt caused by ACS hoarding all the bananas.
    Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
    "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
    He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

  • #2
    damn monkey!!!
    Monkey!!!

    Comment


    • #3
      He must have overspanked it
      Speaking of Erith:

      "It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham" - Linda Smith

      Comment


      • #4
        I've wanted to call in stupid

        "uh, I can't come in, I'm too dumb right now."
        Monkey!!!

        Comment


        • #5
          You'd never be at work if that was the case
          Speaking of Erith:

          "It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham" - Linda Smith

          Comment


          • #6
            the dumb beitch I work next to has told her boss that she wasn't capable or able to do the work that is required of her... and she's still here.
            Monkey!!!

            Comment


            • #7
              They're usually the people who do the best...they promote them out of harm's way
              Speaking of Erith:

              "It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham" - Linda Smith

              Comment


              • #8
                she's a dumb whore... oh hell, she's talking to me! Shut up! Your voice sounds like a dog farting... crap, she's looking at me over the cubicle wall. You are an idiot!

                Maybe I can call in sick, saying that I can't work next to the idiot.

                HEhehe, sent her to bug some poor soul down in the lab... some one like you! PH!
                Monkey!!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Can't you throw her a bone of the edge of a cliff or something?
                  Speaking of Erith:

                  "It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham" - Linda Smith

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    sending her to the lab rats is just as bad... they hate her, and they aren't afraid to let her know. She'll comeback crying.
                    Monkey!!!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Speaking of Erith:

                      "It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham" - Linda Smith

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Although I must say, I'm not too fussed on being referred to as a 'rat'. However true it may be I think I am at the point where I should try and cash in my experience for a nice, cushy compliance job
                        Speaking of Erith:

                        "It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham" - Linda Smith

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Validations is awesome. It's exactly what I need at this point in my life.

                          All I do is learn to do whatever, write the SOP, and cut and paste the asset # for whatever into the IQ/OQ/PQ, execute it, write the final report and wait for all the VPs to sign it... then file it. Having been a process engineer for 5 years this is nothing.

                          It's Cushy. Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V everything! Besides, it's a good resume boost.

                          Gives me enough time to play with the baby, pays ok, no stress, I post here most of the day... if I called in sick the only reason would be to play with the baby more.

                          I'm going to go back to school, so maybe I'll be able to study at work too!
                          Monkey!!!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I am doing validation on a lab instrument at the moment (on and off, I never get the chance to spend a lot of time on it with the other stuff), but I am sure I will be able to use it to my advantage...
                            Speaking of Erith:

                            "It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham" - Linda Smith

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I fell out of a helicopter
                              So get your Naomi Klein books and move it or I'll seriously bash your faces in! - Supercitizen to stupid students
                              Be kind to the nerdiest guy in school. He will be your boss when you've grown up!

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X