Should I......?

[duke o' york]

Another stupid thread to waste your time.
I know that 'poly is the wrong place to ask this, and will be taking counsel elsewhere too, but don't feel that your advice will not be valued.

Right, I've fallen in love with a woman I used to work with, and we went out last night with some mutual friends. I had promised some of my friends that I would ask her out last night, but never got the chance to do so. The big question now is whether I ring her tonight and ask her. Now I'd obviously prefer to ask her face-to-face, but this won't be possible for a while at least. I've spoken to her friend, who she lives with, and she told me that she doesn't think this woman will stop being my friend even if she says no, which is a massive plus as far as I'm concerned, but she also didn't know whether she'd agree or not. So, as a card-carrying member of the Cowards Association, should I ring her and ask her, or wait and ask her to her face?

Fellow 'polytubbies, advise me!

[alva]

Go for it dude Duck Duke !!! and good luck.

[Flubber]

Phone!!

If you would see her real soon anyway I might say wait but in your situation phone her !!!!!





Have you called yet?







How about now?

[JohnT]

Phone her!

[CerberusIV]

Well, I'm no expert on women... but...

If you want to take this further it's up to you to ask.

What does she like doing? Films, theatre, clubbing? Ring her up and ask if she would like to go out and do whatever it is with you (that way it could be taken as the two of you doing it as friends). If she says yes, see how it goes but play it cool for now and see how the two of you get on together before making it clear you want to get more serious.

Best of luck.

So you can post here later tonight and tell us all whether you got a yes or a no.

[Stuie]

Men get way too uptight about asking women out. Usually (from my experience) if the woman says "No", they don't let the whole thing ruin whatever relationship you had prior to that. Err... not that I have a lot of experience with woman saying "No".

Just go for it and worry what to do if she says "Yes".

[Pekka]

Two things. First, you aren't in love with her. You have a crush on her.

Second of all, it will definitely ruin the friend thing if she says no.

[Richelieu]

Well?

[duke o' york]

Give me a chance - she'll be still at work!

[JohnT]

"How did you decide to ask me out, love?"

"Well, I polled a bunch of teenage/20-something guys at this gaming website, see, and... honey? Honey? Hey! Put that down, PUT THAT...."

Well, she seemed like a nice girl...

[rah]

If I could go back in time and say one thing to my younger self, (besides buy MicroSoft) it would be.
DON"T BE SUCH A COWARD, the upside is possibly big, and the downside risks are minimal. GO FOR IT

[duke o' york]

She said no.
But she's still prepared to be friends, which is what I most feared losing.

[Zkribbler]

Zkribber's Law of Office Romances:

Don't get your hunny where you get your money!

[asleepathewheel]

it takes guts to show back up in a thread like this, with that outcome.

[Flubber]

Originally posted by rah


If I could go back in time and say one thing to my younger self, (besides buy MicroSoft) it would be.
DON"T BE SUCH A COWARD, the upside is possibly big, and the downside risks are minimal. GO FOR IT

That would be my advice to my younger self as well.

Duke-- you may think this was a bad result but it wasn't. While you did not get this girl, you now know that its senseless to go pining after her and you should look for other women. If you are a decent guy, there will be lots of them out there.

So go ask someone else out .

My most fun time ever was when I lost my shy attitude and just started asking girls out. Most will say yes!!!!