You Know you're from _______ when....

[Imran Siddiqui]

You think bagels are nothing but a cruel doughnut joke invented by some Yankee!

*gasp*

Barbarians!!

[Gangerolf]

Originally posted by Dr Zoidberg
Bah, no swedish list ´But the norwegian is at least partly accurate

You Know You're Norwegian When....

You assume that a stranger on the street who smiles at or greets you is: a) drunk. b) insane. c) an American. d) All of the above. You vigorously defend whaling and enjoy consuming whale meat. You enjoy the taste of lutefisk (jelly-like, bad-smelling fish) and cod prepared in any way, including fried cod tongues. You can prepare fish in five different ways without cooking it. You don't question the habit of always preparing a "matpakke" (sandwich in paper). You have two cars, a cabin and a boat, if not more. You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing. It feels natural to wear sport clothes and backpack everywhere, including the cinema, bowling alley, and to church. You are think it's weird if a house isn't wooden. You know at least five different words for describing different textures of snow. You don't fall when walking on ice. You earn more than you spend. You associate Easter with cross-country skiing with friends and family in the familys mountain cabin. You are shocked if it's not 2 months of snow every year, at least! You can see mountains and the ocean, no matter where you are. You expect all dinner parties and meetings to start precisely on time, if not before. You fall 3 metres, and don't get hurt. If you do, you're not worried at all. You haven't heard of "fast-food". You can't understand why foreigners haven't heard about Bjorn Dahlie. You're proud to be Norwegian - and you pass these jokes on to all your Norwegian friends!

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What doesn't apply to you? Lutefisk and Bjørn Dæhlie I guess?

Almost spot on for me. Fortunately I'm not a total stereotype. I've only got half a car, I'm at least an hour away from the nearest mountain (lots of hills here though) and I have actually heard of this "fast-food" thingie.

[Tuberski]

Originally posted by Ming

You know what the phone number is to Empire Carpet!

588-2300, Empire......



Haven't lived there in 15 years.

ACK!

[Pekka]

Björn the dope man Dählie.. we all know this to be true. His medals were nothing but a testament to his criminal ways and mafia connections.

Couldn't find any for us Finns but I do have one with the same topic from news paper.. it's very accurate, this should be for those who have moved into Finland and lived for a while..

--------------------------------


You Know You Have Been In Finland Too Long, When...

1. You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to garbage.

2. When a stranger on the street smiles at you:
a. you assume he is drunk
b. he is insane
c. he's an American

3. You don't think twice about putting the wet dishes away in the cupboard to dry.

4. A friend asks about your holiday plans and you answer: "Oh, I'm going to Europe!" meaning any other Western European country outside Scandinavia.


5. You see a student taking a front row seat and wonder "Who does he think he is!!??"

6. Silence is fun.


7. The reason you take the ferry to Stockholm or Tallinn is:
a. duty free vodka
b. duty free beer
c. to party heartily...no need to get off the boat in Stockholm or Tallinn, just turn around and do it again on the way back to Finland.


8. Your coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups a day and coffee is too weak if there is less than two spoonfuls per person.

9. You pass a grocery store and think: "Wow, it is open, I had better go in and buy something!"

10. Your native language has seriously deteriorated, now you begin to "eat medicine", "open the television", "close the lights off", and tell someone: "you needn't to!". Expressions like "Don't panic" creep into your everyday language.

11. You associate pea soup with Thursday.

12. Your idea of unforgivable behaviour now includes walking across the street when the light is red and there is no walk symbol, even though there are no cars in sight.

13. Your notion of street life is reduced to the few teenagers hanging out in front of the railway station on Friday nights.

14. Sundays no longer seem dull with all the stores closed, and begin to feel restful instead.

15. You finally stop asking your class "Are there any questions?"


16. Your old habit of being "Fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.


17. Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay.


18. You refuse to wear a hat, even in -30°C weather.

19. You hear loud-talking passengers on the train. You immediately assume:
a. they are drunk
b. they are Swedish-speaking
c. they are Americans
d. all of the above.

20. You no longer look at sports pants as casual wear, but recognize them as almost formal wear.

21. You have undergone a transformation:
a. you accept mustamakkara (Black blood sausage) as food
b. you accept alcohol as food
c. you accept.


22. You understand why the Finnish language has no future tense.


23. You no longer have to search for the flushing mechanism.

24. You no longer see any problem wearing white socks with loafers.

25. You just love Jaffa.

26. You've come to expect Sunday morning sidewalk vomit dodging.

27. You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed."

28. You enjoy salmiakki.


29. You know that "Gents" is another term for sidewalk.

30. You know that more than four channels means cable.

31. When you're hungry you can peel a boiled potato like lightning.

32. You've become lactose intolerant.

33. You accept that 80°C in a sauna is chilly, but 20°C outside is freaking hot.

34. You know how to fix herring in 105 different ways.

35. You eat herring in 105 ways.

36. "No comment" becomes a conversation strategy.

37. You can't understand why people live anywhere but in Finland.

And there are explanatiosn to all these in http://www.helsinginsanomat.fi/english/extras/toolong .. some of them are pretty funny. Like said, this is meant for people who are foreigners and come to Finland.

[Provost Harrison]

Finland, Finland, Finland - the country where I want to be

[Zoid]

Originally posted by Gangerolf


What doesn't apply to you? Lutefisk and Bjørn Dæhlie I guess?

Almost spot on for me. Fortunately I'm not a total stereotype. I've only got half a car, I'm at least an hour away from the nearest mountain (lots of hills here though) and I have actually heard of this "fast-food" thingie.

We actually eat lutfisk, but we´re passionately anti-whaling. And the clubbing of baby seals Also we have food served at our schools, no need for a matpakke

And of course the fast food thingie.

[Provost Harrison]

I remember Johan on abut lutfisk...I didn't feel at all tempted

[Cyclotron]

Lutefisk

That's the only part of my Norwegian heritage I despise.

[monolith94]

You Know You're From Massachusetts When...

The person driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you are cursing him for going too slow.
*eh, not really

When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke...not quinine water.
*I personally don't use tonic, but I have friends who do

You actually enjoy driving around rotaries.
*guilty as charged

You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn't flip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space.
*not guilty

You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester, Billerica, Haverhill, Barre and Cotuit.
*true. Billerica is my favorite.

You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday in order to get beer.
*well, duh. I've also worked a summer job in new hampsh.

You know that there are two Bulger brothers, and that they're both crooks.
*they're just misunderstood!

You know what they sell at a packie.
*True. Beah.

You know at least one bar where you can get something to drink after last call.
*nah, but I bet Emp Fab does.

You can actually find your way around Boston.
*sometimes

Evacuation Day is a recognized holiday.
*heh

You know what First Night is.
*well, duh

You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Whitey, Red, Bud or Seamus.
*guilty

You think the rest of the country owes you for Thanksgiving and Independence Day.
*because they do

You have never been to Cheers.
*for good reason

When the words 'WICKED' and 'GOOD' go together.
*they do indeed

You knew that there was no chance in hell that the Pats would move to Hartford.
*true, it would've been incredibly dumb

You have gone to at least one party at UMass.
*actually, not yet.

The curse of the Bambino is taught in public schools.
*it's taught in gym in middle school

You own a "Yankees Suck" shirt or hat.
*heh

You think Doug Flutie is the greatest athlete ever.
*... no comment

You remember exactly where you were when the ball rolled through Buckner's legs.
*too young

You pray for the Red Sox to win the World Series not this season, but in your lifetime.
*not really an issue anymore

You know how to make a frappe.
*I do. They're better than milkshakes.

You know that "Big Dig" is also a kind of ice cream you can get at Brigham's.
*brighams rocks. not as much as hodgies though.

You actually know how to merge from 6 lanes of traffic down to one.
*I'm getting better at it.

You never go to "Cape Cod", you go "down the Cape".
*actually, never been down cape.

You think that Roger Clemens, Wade Boggs and Derek Jeter are more evil than Whitey Bulger.
*yes

You went to Old Sturbridge Village, Plymouth Plantation, or both, on field trip in grammar school.
*went to both, plus Salem. And whale watching.

You're aware that there is a town, somewhere in Massachusetts, named Brimfield where they have the biggest outdoor antique market in the world.
*actually, wasn't aware of that

You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day.
*yup. It's glorious.

You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of strange weather dividing line.
*it is what it is

You know that P-Town isn't the name of a new rap group.
*true

You know that Ludlow is 90% Portuguese and that Fall River is 90% Lebanese.
*actually I don't know much about 'em.

You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of the English language.
*I do, but I have never really had a wicked accent

You've called something "wicked pissa"
*guilty

You have driven to either Rhode Island, New Hampshire or Vermont for a tattoo.
*not a tattoo guy

You see people like Steven Tyler (Aerosmith), Dicky Barret (The Mighty, Mighty Bosstones), and Evan Dando (The Lemonheads) in the local supermarket and it doesn't phase you.
*no, but my mom saw fritz weatherbee once.

You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater
*the law is on your side

Know at least three Tony's, one Vinnie and a Frank(ie)
*nope

Paranoia sets in if you can't see a Dunkin Donuts, ATM or CVS within eyeshot at all times.
*heh, yeah dunkin donuts is pretty essential

You keep an ice scraper and can of de-icer on the floor of your car...year round
*true!

You still try to order curly fries from Burger King
*not a fan

You order iced coffee in January
*don't like coffee

You know what candlepin bowling is
*and I loveit

You drive 45 minutes to New Hampshire to save $5 in sales tax
*it's only 15 minutes, and it's worth the trip to buy a computer

You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left.
*nah, but I have stalled in the middle of an intersection...

You've bragged about the money you've saved at The Christmas Tree Shop
*actually, never been

You know what a "regular" coffee is
*yup

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Massachusetts.
*yes, no

[Imran Siddiqui]

true. Billerica is my favorite.

Pronounce it.

[Dr Strangelove]

You Know You're From Virginia When...

Speed limits are just suggestions >> I don't get it. Around here it would be more like - There's no such thing as a minimum speed limit. You have at least two friends who have no idea what their relatives do...because its "top secret" government work >> How about - You have at least two friends who don't know what they do,i.e., "government work". Most of your senior class wend to Mason, JMU, Tech, VCU or UVA >>Actually moist of them went to U of 'Nam. When people ask where you're from, you tell them DC because its easier to explain >>It would be better to say "You don't consider Fairfax, Arlington and Alexandria to be part of your state." You've never told someone you're from Virginia without putting "northern," "central," or "southern" in front of it (See above.) >>True It's not actually tailgating unless your bumper is touching the car in front of you. >> Were they that desperate to find jokes about Virginia? You know yellow light means at least 5 more cars can get through. (Yeah, man...at least. Probably also happens everywhere else.) A red light means 2 more can. You actually know what the black boxes at stoplights are for. Despite the fact that Virginia fought for the south in the Civil War, you are not, under any circumstances, a "southerner" >>Pah, this only refers to emigrants. It would be better to say - "You refer to the Civil War as The War Between The States." You are amused by visiting relatives who are actually excited to see Washington, DC >> You show visiting relatives The White House - of The Confederacy. You took a field trip to Williamsburg as a kid >>Yep. You are amazed when you go out of town and the people at McDonalds speak English >>?? Despite recent trends this part of the country still has the fewer Hispanic and Asian immigrants than the west or the north. You or someone in your family has a Smart Tag >>Yep. An inch of snow and you miss 3 days of school >>Yep. All the potholes just add a little excitement to your driving experience >>Pennsylvannia was much worse last time I passed through. Crown Victoria = undercover cop Subway is a fast food place. The transportation system is known as Metro, and only Metro. >> Pah, That area's not really part of the state. They just tore down the old farm house across the street and put 12 new McMansions in its place >> They really should have hired a real Virginian to write these. For the cost of your house, you could own a small town in Iowa >> Only in the parts of the state that really don't count. If you stay on the same road long enough, it will eventually have three new names. >>Trus. You have to dial the area code to call your neighbor >>True. "Vacation" means spending a day at King's Dominion or Busch Gardens. >>Yep. "Going to the River" means any stream with water. >> We used to have a bunch of nice rivers until they dammed them up to provide water for Eastern Virginia. You have never been served tea without the waitress asking "sweet or unsweetened?" >>Yep Your favorite past time is telling West Virginia jokes. >>Yep. Anyone who can't trace his or her ancestry back to at least four generations in Virginia is an outsider. >>Yep "Going to the beach" means anywhere from Ocean City to Virginia Beach to Myrtle Beach. >>Yep You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Virginia.

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Let's add:
In school you had more years of Virgina History than US and World History combined.

You smile condescendingly when people from New England talk about their state's role in US history.

You can name more battles of The War Between The States than you can of The American Revolution Or WW2.

At least one McDonald's in town sits on a historical battlefield.

You can name the actual leader of the Virginia Company expedition. (It wasn't John Smith!)

[Seeker]

You know the provincial flower

why the Pacific Dogwood of course. it's on all those placemats.

You consider that if it has no snow, it is not a real mountain.

yep

You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Blendz, and Tim Horton's.

Vancouver-centric

You know how to pronounce Squamish, Osoyoos & Nanaimo.

Yep.

You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean and Thai food.

Yep, a little vancouver-centric

In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark - while only working eight-hour days.

This is true in much of canada though

You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.

Honestly, until I left BC I thought humidity was like a synonym or something.

You know that Dawson Creek is a town, not a TV show.

Of course

You can point to at least two ski mountains, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.

I could point to 5 from my hometown.

You notice "the mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.

LOL, yes. 'the mountain' being whatever mountain is closest.

You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 5, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.

Well boots yes...

You switch to your sandals when it gets about 10, but keep the socks on.

yes

You recognize the background shots in your favourite movies & TV shows.

usually

You buy new sunglasses every year, because you can't find the old ones after such a long time.

Isn't this true everywhere?

You use a down comforter in the summer.

yes

The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder

Rebagliati? Well he is a hero to the kids I guess...

The local wine doesn't taste like malt vinegar

?? no, of course not

Your $400,000 Vancouver home is 5 hours from downtown

Vancouver-centric, and more accurate about the island.

You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations

Vanc centric

You've been to a deforestation protest

Well, 'at' yes, participated no...

If a cop pulls you over, just offer them some of your hash

Truth

It's November, it's raining, but you're still wearing birkenstocks

Birkenstocks are too corporate.

You go broke just paying rent.

Vanc centric, I have my own land

You don't own a heavy winter coat

?? I do

You can't figure out why Manitoba is considered part of Western Canada.

Manitoba is part of the West??

You wouldn't be caught dead on Vancouver Island or Vancouver without your umbrella and plastic shoes.

Vanc= umbrella

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from British Columbia.

Very vanc centric

[monolith94]

Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui

true. Billerica is my favorite.

Pronounce it.

I always pronounce it like a person's name: Bill Ricka.

[Seeker]

British Columbia, Revised (My Own)

You've heard, and have told, jokes about the 'Salmon Run'

You know about 'Surrey girls'

You thought grow ops were legal growing up.

You know about 'Ogopogo'

As a child, your father would point out Albertan license plates while driving, and an uncomfortable silence would fall.

Every tiny town is 'trying to revive the local arts scene'

You've known people, been to, or been raised yourself in a community accessible only by float-plane.

You are unphased by black bears, treating them as large dogs

'Boarders' were/are a youth subculture, even for the not rich

You've seen a functioning commune

You've been nearly killed by a logging truck more than once

The mere thought that Ontario exists, and kids grow up and live their whole lives there, depresses you.

Most people you know have been through at least 2-3 non-mainstream religions/cults

You know at least have a dozen people who have seriously considered building/designing their own houses, 2-4 who have done it/are doing it.

You know people who celebrate 'solstice' or other non-mainstream occasions.

In your neighbourhood, at least 1 person at any time is planning a week-long canoe or kayak trip.

Seeing houses on stilts is not unusual.

Dry air and high altitudes have become so normal that just driving through vancouver gives you a headache

You, and everybody you know, has at least one close/friend relative working as a 'ski' instructor.

Moutain Equipment Co-Op is high fashion. And yes, you have seen people wearing warm jackets and summer shorts at the same time.

You have, or your friends/relatives have, 1. a houseboat. 2. a zodiac 3. a kayak

You have certain criteria for what makes a 'real' forest or mountain.

There is an Indian Reserve within a 30 minute drive of wherever you are, and they have a casino, bannock stand, and cheap cigarettes.

'the lake' is the main social gathering place. Business is conducted, virginities lost, barbeques held, in fact you can remembers weeks where you consistently spent 6-8 hours a day all week at the beach...and you were working!!

You know who the 'Overlanders' were.

Easterners say you sound American, but Americans say you sound Canadian...

Everything over the Rockies is 'the East' and evil, while only this side is 'the West', and good.