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If World War Two had been an online Real Time Strategy game

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  • #1

    If World War Two had been an online Real Time Strategy game

    If World War Two had been an online Real Ttime Strategy game, the chat room traffic would have gone something like this.

    *Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
    *Eisenhower has joined the game.*
    *paTTon has joined the game.*
    *Churchill has joined the game.*
    *benny-tow has joined the game.*
    *T0J0 has joined the game.*
    *Roosevelt has joined the game.*
    *Stalin has joined the game.*
    *deGaulle has joined the game.*
    Roosevelt: hey sup
    T0J0: y0
    Stalin: hi
    Churchill: hi
    Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
    paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
    T0JO: lol
    Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
    benny-tow: haha america sux
    Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
    Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever
    Stalin: cool
    deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
    Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
    Roosevelt: i dont got **** to help, sry
    Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
    Roosevelt: get antiair guns
    Churchill: i cant afford them
    benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
    paTTon: stfu
    Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
    deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
    Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
    paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
    Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
    deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
    *deGaulle has left the game.*
    Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
    benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
    benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
    Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
    T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
    Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
    T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
    Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
    Hitler[AoE]: wtf
    Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
    Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
    Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
    Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
    T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world ******
    Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
    Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
    Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
    benny-tow: haha
    benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
    T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
    Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
    Roosevelt: yah thats right ***** im comin for ya
    Stalin: church help me
    Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
    Stalin: dont be an arss
    Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
    Eisenhower: LOL
    benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
    Hitler: o man ur focked
    paTTon: oh what now biotch
    Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
    *benny-tow has been eliminated.*
    benny-tow: lame
    Roosevelt: gj patton
    paTTon: thnx
    Hitler[AoE]: WTF eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
    Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
    Eisenhower: Nuts!
    benny~tow: wtf that mean?
    Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
    paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
    Stalin: rofl
    T0J0: HAHAHHAA
    Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
    Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
    *Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
    benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
    Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
    Stalin: OMG LMAO!
    Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
    *Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
    paTTon: hahahhah
    T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
    benny~tow: shut up noob
    Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
    paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
    Eisenhower: yah me too
    T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
    Eisenhower: fock u
    paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
    Stalin: go to hell lol
    paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
    Eisenhower: yah this is gay
    *Roosevelt has left the game.*
    Hitler[AoE]: wtf?
    Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
    *tru_m4n has joined the game.*
    tru_m4n: hi all
    T0J0: hey
    Stalin: sup
    Churchill: hi
    tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
    tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
    Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
    tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
    Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
    T0J0: wtf is nukes?
    T0J0: holy ****holy****hoyl****!
    *T0J0 has been eliminated.*
    *The Allied team has won the game!*
    Eisenhower: awesome!
    Churchill: gg noobs no re
    T0J0: thats bull**** u fockin suck
    *T0J0 has left the game.*
    *Eisenhower has left the game.*
    Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
    Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
    tru_m4n: l8r all
    benny~tow: bye
    Churchill: l8r
    Stalin: fock u all
    tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
    *tru_m4n has left the game.*
    benny~tow: lololol u commie
    Churchill: ROFL
    Churchill: bye commie
    *Churchill has left the game.*
    *benny~tow has left the game.*
    Stalin: i hate u all fags
    *Stalin has left the game.*
    paTTon: lol no1 is left
    paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
    *paTTon has been eliminated.*
    paTTon: o sh1t!
    *paTTon has left the game.*
    Which side are we on? We're on the side of the demons, Chief. We are evil men in the gardens of paradise, sent by the forces of death to spread devastation and destruction wherever we go. I'm surprised you didn't know that. --Saul Tigh
    Tags: None
  • #2
    What If the Iraq War was a RTS

    *** buSH has joined #international_diplomacy

    buSH: going to rush saddam wanna join.
    JacCHrik: noway man not rdy yet wait
    coaler: cant join need better gov rating.

    buSH: right! You guys are allied with saDDam huh.
    JacCHrik: buSH you noob wait we help later.
    BuSH: FU I go now

    *** JacCHrik has left #international_diplomacy

    buSH: LOL. We don't need you cheese eating surrender monkeys! coal, you in? great blitzkrieg area
    coaler: nine gov rating to low need to wait.

    ***coalerhas left #international_diplomacy

    *** saDDAm has joined #international_diplomacy

    buSH: hey saDy, give us weapons, give us tribute or we invade
    saDDam: we got nothing our techtree soks
    buSH: ya right we saw you plaster your internal revolt
    saDDam: big mistake hit wrong key. no money no tech
    buSH: let us send units in to see, share your map with us
    SaDDam: right do I Iook stupid, you see what I have then rush me
    ***SaDDAm left #international_diplomacy

    *** buSH has joined channel #unilateralism

    #unilateralism:
    bagDadBob: we winning buSH soks
    buSH: look east, look west, look south, look in the middle your captial.
    BagDadBob: WTF where they come from, cheat you haked the game, where you get that hak

    ***iraq has been eliminated


    *** bagDadBob has left the channel.


    buSH: awesome we rule mission accomplished!
    ***buSH cheers
    ***buSH does a dance


    #occupation
    ****GENgarner has joined #occupation
    ****GENgarner has left #occupation
    ****pBremer has joinded #occupation
    pBremer: cool I have palaces
    *** zarCOWI has joined #occupation

    zarCOWI: we have bombs.
    pBremer: us too
    zarCOWI: we strap ours to women and childern
    pBremer: WTF, sh** you crazy
    **** pBremer has disconnected
    ****pBremer has rejoined #occupation
    pBremer: d**** power need to get that fixed


    ***zarCOWI has developed IDE
    ***US units capture saDDAM
    ***saDDAM joins prison channel


    #press
    *** msm has joined #press

    msm: look, I found bad pictures gross out. people being tortured I thought this game was rated for everyone need to report to hilliary and company
    zarCOWI: buSH soks.
    buSH: great now the rating police are going to shut the game down.
    Which side are we on? We're on the side of the demons, Chief. We are evil men in the gardens of paradise, sent by the forces of death to spread devastation and destruction wherever we go. I'm surprised you didn't know that. --Saul Tigh

    Comment

    • #3
      Old, but still good. I love the "WTF America hax!"
      "You're the biggest user of hindsight that I've ever known. Your favorite team, in any sport, is the one that just won. If you were a woman, you'd likely be a slut." - Slowwhand, to Imran

      Eschewing silly games since December 4, 2005

      Comment

      • #4
        Funny as hell. Every is wondering why I'm laughing so hard.


        tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
        tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
        Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
        tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
        Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
        T0J0: wtf is nukes?
        T0J0: holy ****holy****hoyl****!
        *T0J0 has been eliminated.*

        This sent me over the edge
        Which side are we on? We're on the side of the demons, Chief. We are evil men in the gardens of paradise, sent by the forces of death to spread devastation and destruction wherever we go. I'm surprised you didn't know that. --Saul Tigh

        Comment

        • #5
          Apolyton Civilization Site
          http://apolyton.net/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=136305




          The Iraq one isn't nearly as good.
          Civilization II: maps, guides, links, scenarios, patches and utilities (+ Civ2Tech and CivEngineer)

          Comment

          • #6
            Originally posted by Mercator
            Apolyton Civilization Site
            http://apolyton.net/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=136305




            The Iraq one isn't nearly as good.

            Hmm Must have missed it when I was gone. Anyway
            Which side are we on? We're on the side of the demons, Chief. We are evil men in the gardens of paradise, sent by the forces of death to spread devastation and destruction wherever we go. I'm surprised you didn't know that. --Saul Tigh

            Comment

            • #7
              Oldie but goodie
              Why can't you be a non-conformist just like everybody else?

              It's no good (from an evolutionary point of view) to have the physique of Tarzan if you have the sex drive of a philosopher. -- Michael Ruse
              The Nedaverse I can accept, but not the Berzaverse. There can only be so many alternate realities. -- Elok

              Comment

              • #8
                The WWII stuff is known, but still great
                Blah

                Comment

                • #9
                  How ancient is that?
                  "Wait a minute..this isn''t FAUX dive, it's just a DIVE!"
                  "...Mangy dog staggering about, looking vainly for a place to die."
                  "sauna stories? There are no 'sauna stories'.. I mean.. sauna is sauna. You do by the laws of sauna." -P.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Seeker
                    How ancient is that?
                    1945
                    Visit First Cultural Industries
                    There are reasons why I believe mankind should live in cities and let nature reclaim all the villages with the exception of a few we keep on display as horrific reminders of rural life.-Starchild
                    Meat eating and the dominance and force projected over animals that is acompanies it is a gateway or parallel to other prejudiced beliefs such as classism, misogyny, and even racism. -General Ludd

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      I don't think they had RTS in 1945.

                      This is pretty funny. I can't be bothered to read it again. The other posters posted the funniest parts.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        If I haven't seen it, its new to me
                        "I predict your ignore will rival Ben's" - Ecofarm
                        ^ The Poly equivalent of:
                        "I hope you can see this 'cause I'm [flipping you off] as hard as I can" - Ignignokt the Mooninite

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          I haven't, and found it hilarious (the WWII one, not the Iraq one).

                          -Arrian
                          grog want tank...Grog Want Tank... GROG WANT TANK!

                          The trick isn't to break some eggs to make an omelette, it's convincing the eggs to break themselves in order to aspire to omelettehood.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            My favorite:

                            Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
                            Lime roots and treachery!
                            "Eventually you're left with a bunch of unmemorable posters like Cyclotron, pretending that they actually know anything about who they're debating pointless crap with." - Drake Tungsten

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: If World War Two had been an online Real Time Strategy game

                              Silly post
                              Smile
                              For though he was master of the world, he was not quite sure what to do next
                              But he would think of something
                              "Hm. I suppose I should get my waffle a santa hat." - Kuciwalker

                              Comment

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