Victory Sandwich

[Pekka]

I made it. It's true.

I just came back from grocery store, got some food but also bought some ham. Then, I came back home (I think I saw couple of PUNKS on the way home) and stared making a sandwich. You know, I have opened couple of nice threads and websites for my pleasure, put on some nice music, feeling relaxed and well rested, and then it hits me....

the makers of this ham are playing cruel games. The package they were packed in (plastic) consisted of two colours. Blue and Red. They were equally dominant. First I thought, ok, this is Dems And Repubs, but then it REALLY hit me. This isn't US politics. You see, we are white and BLUE. Commies are RED. The ham factory had started something they prolly didn't want to start....

So far, I could be just imagining. However, you could open it from two corners.. Usually it's just one corner, this had TWO OPTIONS. Can you guess? YES! BLUE AND RED! It's getting obvious, isn't it?

Of course I wanted my ham from freedom section, and started opening the blue corner. OOPS! Doesn't open! Now I had a dilemma. I fiddled a little with the red corner to see if it was stuck too, but it wasn't!

However I could not open the red corner, making it a commie sandwich. So I took the biggest knife I have, and carved the whole red section off of the package. YEAAAAH! IN YOUR FACE!

Of course I also realized now the package can't be closed at all and it's in the fridge, getting bad.

But that's cool, because I won.

[snoopy369]

You're insane.

But, i'd suggest sending this in to a political humour site ... someone might publish it

[Pekka]

No this is not about politics. THis is about ham. And how the factory that made the ham thought it was no big deal, but the factory leader underestimated the insane nature of some of the people. I admit to be completely insane, a basket case, but harmless and champion.

Now, the question is.. am I moderate?

First, I haven't YET complained, sent angry e-mails, phoned, and visited them to complain why I had no options than the red corner. I wanted the blue corner damn it. I PAID FULL PRICE OF THAT PRODUCT. IT didn't work 100%. Do I get refunds? And an official apology? I want it. I want the ****ing letter.. in which they must admit their socialist tendencies and apologize for their propaganda.

Now, I haven't done that, so I'm still moderate. Though I did take the big knife out and carve the red out, I mean.. now I can't really prove my point to them, since I destroyed the product further than necessary. But something in it set me off.. they can't treat me like this. They will PAY! OH yes they will pay...

ANd this aside, I still haven't settled with the toilet paper makers and their outrageous scam.

[snoopy369]

Well, if you won't send this thread to Michael Moore, I will. I'm happy to make a buck off of the insanely funny ramblings of anyone.

[Pekka]

DUde, seriously. What you don't understand is that I'm half serious. I really did carve out the red portion of the package. THe ham is really rottening in the fridge now because of it. I really did try to open the blue corner. It really didn't open. THe product was not 100% good, really. THere's nothing faulty in this, I just tend to take my own playbook with me to every situation, and quite frankly I have more passion than most of the people so things like this happens. This is not my fault.

But if you decide to be butt buddy with Moore, hey by all means, maybe you guys can make a movie about it.. rectumwidth 9mm ?

[snoopy369]

Dude ... i'm just being funny, lighten up.

I'm a rightwing psycho, anyways. Why would I want to do anything in the same time zone as Michael Moore?

[Pekka]

No you are making fun of serious matter.

I wouldn't be surprised if I found out, that the company who makes these so called unbiased hams, well, that they are owned by American company, that is also making the series with woman president.

You know, so people can get used to the idea of woman president (HILLARY!).

Oh, we do have a woman president in here. Coincidence? I don't think so.

It's all market forces, but socialist markets. So while you laugh about it, don't forget that the next thing you notice is that your laugh is being taxed. You think that's funny? I don't think so either. I say better be vigilant now that we can still overthrow these SOBs..

And when the tough gets going, you notice that new set of gun control laws have been installed.. BY THE SAME PEOPLE! And they throw aborted fetuses at our faces so we have to walk over them, and it's not exactly a moral booster now is it. By..the..same..people.

[Pekka]

, there.

[Ecthy]

[Pekka]

http://www.hk-ruokatalo.fi/portal/english/

check it out yourselves!!!!

I'm going lengths to solve this conspiracy. I don't care how high this goes, I bet all the way.. I'm finding out.

[Sir Og]

KUTGW Pekka! The world needs you.

[Ecthy]

Re: Victory Sandwich

Originally posted by Pekka
Then, I came back home (I think I saw couple of PUNKS on the way home) ...

No matter what people will read into this, but... get help.

[Pekka]

"We are market leader in processed meats and poultry products in Finland and in the Baltic States."

Baltic States as in.. former Soviet Satellites.. I mean I like our Baltic friends but... this isn't their fault of course but the mystery is unfolding itself.

Let's do some more investigative reserach.

It seems main locations also include Poland. Former Soviet Satellite.

"HK Ruokatalo Group Oyj
PO Box 50
FI-20521 Turku,
Tel. +358 10 570 100"

PO Box? YOu see, they don't even give you their real address.. I think that's because they don't have an address, except in some hippie community.

They are also based in my home city. One saying comes to my mind. Keep your friends closer and your enemies even closer.

DO YOU think ALL these things are JUST coincidences? Too many of them I'd say..

[Provost Harrison]

What in the name of buggery is going on with this thread?

[Japher]

If you want ham you have to be a commie, or have a revolution and erradicate the commies... but then your ham will rot so you best eat it fast.



I've got nothing