A hastily-conceived comparison...
Giant Squid: Confirmed by Japanese researchers working for the National Science Museum in Tokyo and the Ogasawara Whale-Watching Association after decades of research and dangerous deep-sea exploration.
Chief Justice Roberts: Confirmed by some guys who wanted to get things done by October.
Giant Squid: Witnessed "to be a much more active predator than previously suspected, using its elongate feeding tentacles to strike and tangle prey."
Chief Justice Roberts: Witnessed hovering over Shoney's soup and salad bar, unwilling to make his food selection known in public.
Giant Squid: Immortalized in Jules Verne's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.
Chief Justice Roberts: Immortalized in Hedgepeth v. WMATA (2004), also known as the "French fry" case, in which Roberts upheld the arrest and detention of a 12-year-old girl who ate a French fry inside a D.C. subway station.
Giant Squid: Previously mistaken as the stuff of legend in some circles of the scientific community.
Chief Justice Roberts: Previously mistaken that "Roe was wrongly decided and should be overruled" in Rust v. Sullivan (1990).
Giant Squid: Discovery heralds an enthralling new era in the study of oceanography.
Chief Justice Roberts: Appointment signifies that the end can't come soon enough.
Giant Squid: Confirmed by Japanese researchers working for the National Science Museum in Tokyo and the Ogasawara Whale-Watching Association after decades of research and dangerous deep-sea exploration.
Chief Justice Roberts: Confirmed by some guys who wanted to get things done by October.
Giant Squid: Witnessed "to be a much more active predator than previously suspected, using its elongate feeding tentacles to strike and tangle prey."
Chief Justice Roberts: Witnessed hovering over Shoney's soup and salad bar, unwilling to make his food selection known in public.
Giant Squid: Immortalized in Jules Verne's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.
Chief Justice Roberts: Immortalized in Hedgepeth v. WMATA (2004), also known as the "French fry" case, in which Roberts upheld the arrest and detention of a 12-year-old girl who ate a French fry inside a D.C. subway station.
Giant Squid: Previously mistaken as the stuff of legend in some circles of the scientific community.
Chief Justice Roberts: Previously mistaken that "Roe was wrongly decided and should be overruled" in Rust v. Sullivan (1990).
Giant Squid: Discovery heralds an enthralling new era in the study of oceanography.
Chief Justice Roberts: Appointment signifies that the end can't come soon enough.
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