This thread be Arr and Woo!
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Avast Ye Scurvey Swabs!
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Avast Ye Scurvey Swabs!
Today, International Talk Like a Pirate Day Be.
This thread be Arr and Woo!
Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...Tags: None
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Most days are like all of the others,
Go to work, come back home, watch TV,
But, brother, if I had me druthers,
I'd chuck it and head out to sea,
For I dream of the skull and the crossbones,
I dream of the great day to come,
When I dump the mundane for the Old Spanish Main
And trade my computer for rum! ARRR!
T' me,
Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho,
It's "Talk Like A Pirate" Day!
When laptops are benches God gave us for wenches,
And a sail ain't a low price to pay!
When timbers are shivered and lillies are livered
And every last buckle is swashed,
We'll abandon our cars for a shipfull of ARRRs
And pound back the grog till we're sloshed. Yo ho ....
- Anyone see my keys?
- Just off the coast o' Florida, matey! ARRR!
Don't pick up yer phone and say "Hello,
Your ten-o-clock meeting's delayed",
Ye scrunch up yer face and ye bellow,
"AVAST! Ye've been bleedin' BELAYED!"
Ye can't keep this fun to yourself, I bet,
So sing "Aye", "ARRR", and "Ayy", every man!
We ain't got much grasp of the alphabet,
But a damn good retirement plan! (raucous laughter)
T' me,
Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho,
It's "Talk Like A Pirate" Day!
Whatever's in fashion is in for a thrashin'
And bein' polite is passe!
When it's ev'ry man's duty to grab his proud beauty
And let out a hearty YO HO!
And if this offends you, hold your breath as we sends
you
Ta Davy Jones' Locker ya go!
- Where IS Davy Jones' Locker, anyway?
- Right near Monkee Island! Arr, aye, arr....
We'll tell every banker "Heave to and weigh anchor!"
Buy latte with pieces of eight
We'll fight to be chosen as cap'n or bosun
The loser, o' course, is worst mate!
When we hoist Jolly Roger the landlubbers dodge 'er,
We fill 'em with loathing and fear,
We'll plunder and pillage each city and village,
Or at least clean out Wal-Mart of beer!
- Ahoy, mateys! And Welcome ta "Iron Chef Pirate!"
Let's see the secret ingredient!
- Oh ho! There'll be some cutting-edge cuisine!
- "AWK! AWK!"- Hold still, Polly! I need this for me salad!
- Avast there, me bucko! Ye need CARROT shavings! CARROT!
- But Captain, I be on Atkins!
- Moron...
- And you! WHAT are ye doin' with that salmon?
- I'm grillin' it on a hunk o' cedar, what d'y'think?
- Ye CAN'T do that in a JAPANESE STIR-FRY, ye bilge rat!
- Oh HO! Ye never heard o' "wokkin' the plank"?
There ain't no computin' or morning commutin',
No "Parking Lot Full" signs for me,
No lawns ta be mowin' or bills to be owin',
I'm knowin' the pull of the sea.
The fresh salty brace of the wind on my face
Through hurricane, sunshine or squalls,
I'm keepin' my eyes on the distant horizon,
Verizon can hold all my calls!
To wear a red coat full o' buckles,
To earn a few duelling scars,
Well, at least we can get a few chuckles
By filling the office with ARRRs!
And maybe we'll never get closer,
Than watchin' 'em on the big screen,
So here's to old Errol and Depp as Jack Sparrow,
And every damn one in between!
T' me,
Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho,
It's "Talk Like A Pirate" Day!
That time in September when sea dogs remember
That grown-ups still know how ta play!
When wenches are curvy and dogs are all scurvy
And a soft-wear patch covers your eye,
Ta hell with our jobs, for one day we're all swabs
And buccaneers all till we die!
So hoist up the mainsails and shut down your brain cells,
They only would get in the way,
Avast there, me hearty, we're havin' a party,
It's "Talk Like A Pirate" Day!
Yo Ho!What?
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You are The Cap'n!
Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any man that stands between them and the mantle of power. You never met a man you couldn't eviscerate. Not that mindless violence is the only avenue open to you - but why take an avenue when you have complete freeway access? You are the definitive Man of Action. You are James Bond in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. Your swash was buckled long ago and you have never been so sure of anything in your life as in your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off their head if they show any sign of taking you on or backing down. You cannot be saddled with tedious underlings, but if one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.
What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!
Garr!
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Originally posted by duke o' york
You are The Cap'n!
Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any man that stands between them and the mantle of power. You never met a man you couldn't eviscerate. Not that mindless violence is the only avenue open to you - but why take an avenue when you have complete freeway access? You are the definitive Man of Action. You are James Bond in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. Your swash was buckled long ago and you have never been so sure of anything in your life as in your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off their head if they show any sign of taking you on or backing down. You cannot be saddled with tedious underlings, but if one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.
What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!
Garr!With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
Steven Weinberg
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Originally posted by duke o' york
No, Smee was the rubbishy snivelling one. Long John Silver be the cap'n!With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
Steven Weinberg
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beim klabautermann, me grog has been depleted by them bilge rats, arrghh!!!"An archaeologist is the best husband a women can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her." - Agatha Christie
"Non mortem timemus, sed cogitationem mortis." - Seneca
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ARRRRR! Avast ye!
You are a Pirate Second Class
Do you remember the last time you took
a chance? I do. It was when you decided
to leave the security of your mother's womb
and headed for the bright light. It's time
to head for the next bright light, my friend.
Creativity is not your strong suit. You
are good at doing what you are told to do
and that, in itself, is a gift. It's not a
gift to you, mind you, but rather a gift to
those who will be there to tell you what
to do. You like long walks on the beach and
cuddling, but would never admit that to your
Guy friends who think you are okay but can't
always remember your name. Tapioca pudding
seems a bit extreme for a fellow such as
yerself, what with all the bumps and stuff.
It's a good thing ye be on a pirate ship,
otherwise, ye'd would be walkin' because ye be
positively pedestrian. Have a nice day.
What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!
Hmmm... I answered the vast majority of the questions with the most violent (or sexual) option possible..."My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
"The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund Freud
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