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  • #31
    Yes, it's all really like Zaamunda and everyone lives like Akeem. It's supported by all the money the US sends.
    It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
    RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

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    • #32
      Coming to America

      Arsenio Hall

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      • #33
        and Akeems hand maidens.
        It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
        RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

        Comment


        • #34
          "The royal penis is clean."

          edit: it sounds much less harmfull in German

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          • #35
            Back when I had large amounts of spare time, I used to scambait quite a lot. It was very fulfilling, to say the least.

            One of my most successful scambaits, and also my longest running one, involved a scammer called 'Eddy Emeka'. After contacting me, I assumed the moniker 'Polly Wannakraker' and gained his trust.

            Dear Polly,

            Compliments of the day to you. I have received the bank account details and they have been forward to the appropriate quarters and the processing of the approvals that will activate the release of the said funds to your nominated bank account is in progress.

            I will keep you informed of development.

            Best regards.

            Eddy Emeka
            He then sent me a couple of documents that would apparently seal the deal. Sadly, he called my character 'Mr. Polly', which was unnacceptable. I made him redo the offending forms:






            Eddy had an annoying habit of making the subjects of his mail 'VERY URGENT'. Occasionaly he would just use 'VERY', and sometimes only 'URGENT'. His truncated subject lines sometimes made more sense then the content of his mail.

            Sadly, most of these VERY URGENT messages were demands for money, or to complain about how badly I was handling the whole arrangement:


            SUBJECT: VERY URGENT

            DEAR POLLY,

            THANKS FOR YOUR EMAIL.PLEASE I AM NOT FAMILIER WITH
            THE SYSTEM OF THE BANK IN CANADA.I MY SELF IS VERY
            ANGRY HERE BECAUSE OF THIS LONG DELAYS.IT IS NOT GOOD
            THE WAY THEY HAVE BEEN DELAYING US.AS A MATTER OF
            FACTS,I WAS TOLERATING THIS **** FROM THEM BECAUSE OF
            THE FEE WE ARE SUPPOSED TO PAY TO THE BANK HERE FOR
            THEM TO TRANSFER THE MONEY DIRECTLY TO YOUR ACCOUNT IN
            THE STATES.THE BANK SAID IT IS POSSIBLE BUT YOU WILL
            BE REQUIRED TO PAY A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF MONEY AS COST
            OF TRANSFER WHICH I KNOW YOU DONT HAVE SUCH MONEY AND
            I MY SELF HAS NO SUCH MONEY.BUT LET US WATH THEM FROM
            NOW TILL WEDNESDAY NEXT TO SEE IF ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN
            OR ELSE,I WILL ADVISE THE ATTORNEY TO GO TO THE BANK
            HERE TO CALL BACK THE MONEY FROM CANADA SO THAT THEY
            DONT ACT SOMETHING FUNNY TO DIVERT THE FUND TO WRONG
            BENENFICIARY.
            HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU.
            BEST REGARDS,
            EDDY EMEKA.
            Don't worry Eddy, I don't think anyone is acting 'something funny' in this deal!


            A bit later I'll chronicle my quest for his picture, his descent into clingy despair, and Eddy's shady clone!
            I'm going to rub some stakes on my face and pour beer on my chest while I listen Guns'nRoses welcome to the jungle and watch porno. Lesbian porno.
            Supercitzen Pekka

            Comment


            • #36
              MR. WANG QIN
              HANG SENG BANK LTD.
              DES VOEUX RD. BRANCH,
              CENTRAL HONG KONG,
              HONK KONG.


              Dear Sir,
              Let me start by introducing myself. I am Mr. Wang Qin credit officer of the Hang
              Seng Bank Ltd.

              I have a concealed business suggestion for you. Before the U.S/Iraqi war our client General. Ibrahim Moussa who was with the Iraqi forces and also a businessman made a numbered fixed deposit for 18 calendar months, with a value of Twenty Millions, Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars only in my branch in september2002. Upon maturity several
              notices were sent to him without a response. We later found out that the General and his family had been killed during the war in a bomb blast that hit their home.
              After further investigation it was also discovered that Gen. Ibrahim Moussa did not declare any next of kin in his official papers including the paper work of his bank deposit. And he also confided in me the last time he was at my office that no one except me knew of his deposit in my bank. So, Twenty Million, Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars is still lying in my bank and no one will ever come forward to claim it. What bothers me most is that according to the laws of my country at the expiration of 3 years the funds will revert to the ownership of the Hong Kong Government if nobody applies to claim the funds. Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to Gen. Ibrahim Moussa so that you will be able to receive his funds.

              WHAT IS TO BE DONE?
              I want you to know that I have everything planned out so that we shall come out successful. I have contacted an attorney that will prepare the necessary document that will back you up as the next of kin to Gen. Ibrahim Moussa, all that is required from you at this stage is for you to provide me with your Full Names and Address so that the attorney can commence his job. After you have been made the next of kin, the attorney will also file for claims on your behalf and secure the necessary approval and letter of probate in your favor for the move of the funds to an account that will be provided by you.
              There is no risk involved at all in the matter as we are going to adopt a legal method and the attorney will prepare all the necessary documents. Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue. Please remember to respond to my private email
              wangprivatmails2005@msn.com

              Once the funds have been transferred to your nominated bank account we shall share in the ratio of 70% for me, 25% for you and 5% for any expenses incurred during the course of this transaction. Should you be interested please send me your private phone and fax numbers for easy communication and I will provide you with more details of this transaction.
              Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated.
              Kind Regards
              Mr. Wang Qin
              Note all responds should be in my private email box
              wangprivatmails2005@msn.com
              I will never understand why some people on Apolyton find you so clever. You're predictable, mundane, and a google-whore and the most observant of us all know this. Your battles of "wits" rely on obscurity and whenever you fail to find something sufficiently obscure, like this, you just act like a 5 year old. Congratulations, molly.

              Asher on molly bloom

              Comment


              • #37
                African? How about IRISH!

                FROM:THE PRESIDENT

                DOYLES FOOTBALL CLUB DUBLIN

                RE:FOOTBALL PLAYERS NEEDED.

                Dear,

                I know you must be very surprised to be reading from me,considering the fact that you dont know the identity of the person writing you,but be rest assured that i am writing you with good intentions.

                I am mrs nancy doyles,the president and owner of DOYLES FOOTBALL CLUB,a 3rd division clubside based in dublin,republic of ireland.I got your e-mail contact adress from an internet directory here in bangkok thailand,while browsing the web,searching for talented,fit and skilled young football stars to build my new team with.

                DOYLES FOOTBALL CLUB is a clubside i inherited from my late husband,mr patrick doyles.The clubside was disbanded after my husband's untimely death
                2 years ago,but was re-opened late last year to carry on with my late husbands dreams of taking the team to unimaginable heights.

                For best results for the team,i hired the services of an experienced english coach that has been a former assistant coach in a premiership side in london,i also hired the services of many experienced english technical advisers and assistant coaches.I trust that with their services and that of talented young boys,the sky will be the limit for DOYLES F.C and our aim is to be at the top of the irish 3rd division league,and onward gradual progress to the 1st division and then finally to the premier league.This feats can't be achieved without the help and assistance of young football stars.

                DOYLES FOOTBALL CLUBis a football club we want to build around young football stars because we want to start from the grass roots level.The team is currently in bangkok thailand on a 2 months training and trial tour of Thailand.

                REASON FOR CONTACTING YOU:If you can play active football well,or if you can not play,but knows or have a brother or a friend that can play well,please contact me on mail by replying to the e-mail adress below.

                BASIC REQUIREMENTS:each player must be 17 - 29 years old,each player must report at the teams hotel camp here in bangkok thailand for the screening and trial of the player.Interested players should reply to the adress below for more informations on the travel procedures.

                So far we have gotten 14 players from africa,8 from south america,4 asians and 6 europeans,1 american has confirmed his flight ticket and will join the rest of the team next week.

                The selected players will return to the teams base in dublin,and must sign a compulsory 1 year contract with the team for the kickoff of the ireland 3rd divison league,starting later this year.The dropped players will be compensated and they will return to their home country with their return tickets.

                best regards and hoping to hear from you soonest.

                nancy doyles.

                for best correspondence,reply this mail only to:
                nancydoyles@hotmail.com,doyles@walla.com
                Originally posted by Serb:Please, remind me, how exactly and when exactly, Russia bullied its neighbors?
                Originally posted by Ted Striker:Go Serb !
                Originally posted by Pekka:If it was possible to capture the essentials of Sepultura in a dildo, I'd attach it to a bicycle and ride it up your azzes.

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by Saras
                  African? How about IRISH!

                  I dont think this is a scam. They're not asking for money..

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    there is no irish 3rd division

                    and who wouldn't want an email address like 'wangprivatmails'
                    "The Christian way has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found to be hard and left untried" - GK Chesterton.

                    "The most obvious predicition about the future is that it will be mostly like the past" - Alain de Botton

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      I'm just wandering how they make money with this one? If they sign binding contracts or smth and Make sure the sample is big and dumb enough, they can hope to sell a few on, if they're any good? :???:
                      Originally posted by Serb:Please, remind me, how exactly and when exactly, Russia bullied its neighbors?
                      Originally posted by Ted Striker:Go Serb !
                      Originally posted by Pekka:If it was possible to capture the essentials of Sepultura in a dildo, I'd attach it to a bicycle and ride it up your azzes.

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Never doubt human kind´s ability to do something even stupider
                        I will never understand why some people on Apolyton find you so clever. You're predictable, mundane, and a google-whore and the most observant of us all know this. Your battles of "wits" rely on obscurity and whenever you fail to find something sufficiently obscure, like this, you just act like a 5 year old. Congratulations, molly.

                        Asher on molly bloom

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          This letter only gets sent to highly respected personalities like myself. Why cant the rest of you recognize how highly respected I am?

                          FROM THE DESK OF
                          MRS SUSANE NUHANVEYE
                          CONTACT EMAIL ADDRESS
                          E-MAIL: mrs_susane_2005@yahoo.it
                          EMAIL: mrs_susane205@yahoo.it


                          Dear:Sir/Madam
                          Kindly accept my apology for sending unsolicited mail to you.
                          I believe you are a highly respected personality, considering
                          the fact that I sourced your profile from a human resource profile
                          database in your country. Though, I do not know to what extent you
                          are familiar with events and fragile political situation in Liberia
                          but it has formed consistent headlines in the CNN, BBC news bulletins.
                          My name is MRS.SUSANE NUHAN VEYE from Liberia,a Country in West
                          Africa.My Husband is Issac Nuhan Vaye, Deputy Minister of Public Works,Liberia.
                          My Husband was falsely accused of plotting to remove the then PRESIDENT
                          OF LIBERIA (CHARLES TAYLOR) from office
                          Without trial, Charles Taylor killed him. You can verify this from your
                          country. You can also check in some of the international newspapers
                          posted in the web sites below:
                          (i) http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2...-liberia_x.htm
                          (ii) http://www.unwire.org
                          Before my husband was killed, he moved out the sum of
                          $21.5million(twenty-one million five hundred thousand u.s dollars)
                          through a diplomatic means, and deposited it with a
                          Security Company overseas. All that is needed is for my lawyer to
                          instruct the company to transfer the funds to your account, I will
                          renumerate you with 20% at the end, but most of all is that I solicit your
                          trust in
                          this transaction.I have been confined only to our country home and all my
                          calls are
                          monitored, please I will advise you to contact me on my private
                          email addresses stated below or onward:
                          E-MAIL: mrs_susane_2005@yahoo.it
                          EMAIL: mrs_susane205@yahoo.it

                          proceedings.
                          kindly include your private telephone and fax numbers where you can
                          always be reached, your residential or company address to enable me
                          send detail information/documents to you.

                          GOD BLESS YOU.
                          Mrs Susane Vaye.

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