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Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity with New "Inelligent Falling" Theory

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  • Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity with New "Inelligent Falling" Theory

    TOPEKA, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.


    Above: Rev. Gabriel Burdett (left) explains Intelligent Falling.
    "Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

    Burdett added: "Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power."

    Founded in 1987, the ECFR is the world's leading institution of evangelical physics, a branch of physics based on literal interpretation of the Bible.

    According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's Word For Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise.

    The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue "so they can make an informed decision."

    "We just want the best possible education for Kansas' kids," Burdett said.



    Proponents of Intelligent Falling assert that the different theories used by secular physicists to explain gravity are not internally consistent. Even critics of Intelligent Falling admit that Einstein's ideas about gravity are mathematically irreconcilable with quantum mechanics. This fact, Intelligent Falling proponents say, proves that gravity is a theory in crisis.

    "Let's take a look at the evidence," said ECFR senior fellow Gregory Lunsden."In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about some gravity making them fall—just that they will fall. Then, in Job 5:7, we read, 'But mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upwards.' If gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence governs all falling."

    Critics of Intelligent Falling point out that gravity is a provable law based on empirical observations of natural phenomena. Evangelical physicists, however, insist that there is no conflict between Newton's mathematics and Holy Scripture.

    "Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with the Kansan Youth Ministry. "They've been trying to do it for the better part of a century now, and despite all their empirical observation and carefully compiled data, they still don't know how."

    "Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation is supposed to work," Carson said. "What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'"

    Some evangelical physicists propose that Intelligent Falling provides an elegant solution to the central problem of modern physics.

    "Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus."

  • #2
    someone posted that in the ID thread...

    but still good
    To us, it is the BEAST.

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    • #3
      Everyone knows that gravity is just angels pulling your pants down.
      I changed my signature

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      • #4
        I am so sorry you're late Vesayen.
        urgh.NSFW

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        • #5

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          • #6
            LOL look closely at the pseudo-equation in the picture.....that must be the advanced advanced class...
            "Wait a minute..this isn''t FAUX dive, it's just a DIVE!"
            "...Mangy dog staggering about, looking vainly for a place to die."
            "sauna stories? There are no 'sauna stories'.. I mean.. sauna is sauna. You do by the laws of sauna." -P.

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            • #7
              What's the ID thread? Anyway, Vesayen forgot to mention that he took it on the Onion website.
              Let us be lazy in everything, except in loving and drinking, except in being lazy – Lessing

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              • #8
                "And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: "

                "Although I am a typical loner in daily life, my consciousness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty, and justice has preserved me from feeling isolated. The most beautiful and deepest experience a man can have is the sense of the mysterious. It is the underlying principle of religion as well as all serious endeavour in art and science. He who never had this experience seems to me, if not dead, then at least blind. To sense that behind anything that can be experienced there is something that our mind cannot grasp and whose beauty and sublimity reaches us only indirectly and as a feeble reflection, this is religiousness. In this sense I am religious. To me it suffices to wonder at these secrets and to attempt humbly to grasp with my mind a mere image of the lofty structure of all that is there. "

                Albert Einstein
                "A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become human, is what this individual person, has been created for.” Martin Buber

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                • #9
                  You do realize that was Einstein explaining that he didn't believe in a personal God, right?
                  Tutto nel mondo è burla

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                  • #10
                    What is 1 Cor 1-10 anyway? I thought it was about god's spiritual gifts to his followers or some rot.
                    "Wait a minute..this isn''t FAUX dive, it's just a DIVE!"
                    "...Mangy dog staggering about, looking vainly for a place to die."
                    "sauna stories? There are no 'sauna stories'.. I mean.. sauna is sauna. You do by the laws of sauna." -P.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Boris Godunov
                      You do realize that was Einstein explaining that he didn't believe in a personal God, right?
                      Yes. I find Einsteins view more interesting. Personally, Im interested in better understanding the relationship of Rosenzweigs Jewish existentialism to both traditional Jewish mysticism, and to Spinozan pantheism. But I wouldnt expect to get insights on that HERE.
                      "A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become human, is what this individual person, has been created for.” Martin Buber

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Boris Godunov
                        You do realize that was Einstein explaining that he didn't believe in a personal God, right?
                        to be more succint - who says that readers have the bible these last 3000 years have always believed in a "personal" god?
                        "A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become human, is what this individual person, has been created for.” Martin Buber

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                        • #13
                          Who gives a **** about Eisteins religious views anyways? Do we need to go quoting Heissenberg or Planck or Bohr on the susbject of God?
                          If you don't like reality, change it! me
                          "Oh no! I am bested!" Drake
                          "it is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong" Voltaire
                          "Patriotism is a pernecious, psychopathic form of idiocy" George Bernard Shaw

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                          • #14
                            Who gives a **** about Eisteins religious views anyways?


                            lotm, clearly

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                            • #15
                              LOL look closely at the pseudo-equation in the picture.....that must be the advanced advanced class...


                              urgh.NSFW

                              Comment

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