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50 States, 50 Mottos

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  • #31
    You know, it's only when I read the second one that I realised it was a joke...
    Is it me, or is MOBIUS a horrible person?

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    • #32
      New York: The world greatest city. Plus some other stuff.

      Massachusetts:Not as liberal as you think

      Colorado: Swoosh!!

      Maryland: Pass the mallet

      Virginia: The New Jersey of the South
      "A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become human, is what this individual person, has been created for.” Martin Buber

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      • #33
        Texas: Pass the mullet

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        • #34
          Washington: A Starbuck Corporate State
          Monkey!!!

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          • #35
            Originally posted by duke o' york
            Texas: Pass the mullet
            You do know what Pass the mallet is a reference to?
            "A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become human, is what this individual person, has been created for.” Martin Buber

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            • #36
              Washington State: Will that be a tall, a grande, or a super grande?

              Washington State: Where to do you want to go today?
              "A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become human, is what this individual person, has been created for.” Martin Buber

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              • #37
                Don't be ridiculous. I'm Yurpean.

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by duke o' york
                  Don't be ridiculous. I'm Yurpean.
                  and they said Maryland crabs were WORLD famous.
                  "A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become human, is what this individual person, has been created for.” Martin Buber

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                  • #39
                    I don't know. I've never slept with a Marylandress.

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                    • #40
                      Originally posted by duke o' york
                      I don't know. I've never slept with a Marylandress.
                      Yah, try hitting THOSE with a mallet, youre in deep trouble.
                      "A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become human, is what this individual person, has been created for.” Martin Buber

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                      • #41
                        I've seen all of these at some point or another:

                        New York: F*ck you, you f*cking f*ck. (you can get NY t-shirts that say this).

                        Maryland: We made syphillis trendy again.

                        Oregon: We can't help it if serial killers seem to like trees so much.

                        New Jersey: Which exit do you want?

                        North Dakota: Canada annexed us and nobody noticed.

                        Louisiana: America's musty armpit.

                        Georgia: This state contains some people who don't believe in evolution. They claim evolution is a theory, not a fact, clearly showing they don't know what "theory" means in science. These people should be avoided when feasible, laughed at when butting in on educational standards and discouraged from further polluting the gene pool as much as possible.
                        Tutto nel mondo è burla

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                        • #42
                          Originally posted by Japher
                          West Virginia: We're one big happy family.

                          Kentucky: West Virginia is our cousin.
                          Dammit, this is fricken hilarious!
                          Despot-(1a) : a ruler with absolute power and authority (1b) : a person exercising power tyrannically
                          Beyond Alpha Centauri-Witness the glory of Sheng-ji Yang
                          *****Citizen of the Hive****
                          "...but what sane person would move from Hawaii to Indiana?" -Dis

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                          • #43
                            Tennessee: Thank Us for the Country Music. Smack Us Because of the Country Music.
                            Tennessee: Have y'all seen pictures of Sophie?!
                            Monkey!!!

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                            • #44
                              Another list that has a few good ones.

                              ALABAMA: Literacy ain't everything
                              Ya want fries with dat?

                              ALASKA: Come, freeze your butt off

                              ARIZONA: Winter home to 150,000 snowbirds

                              ARKANSAS: At least we're not Mississippi

                              CALIFORNIA: The Granola State
                              Nobody's actually from here
                              Fast reloading lanes available
                              The really long state

                              COLORADO: Too wimpy to cross the mountains so we stopped here
                              Official home of the winter ski bunny

                              CONNECTICUT: Way too close to New York

                              DELAWARE: You'll need a map to find us
                              So close to Washington you can smell it

                              FLORIDA: The Gunshine State
                              Elephant Graveyard; where the old Republicans
                              go to die
                              Senior citizen discounts available
                              Come, enjoy the humidity
                              The snow capital of the US

                              GEORGIA: Home of the Rednecks
                              Gateway to Florida
                              Confederate money welcome

                              HAWAII: Sure, we've got Interstates... drive on over
                              Book 'em Danno
                              Tom Selik, Jack Lord, Don Ho - Paradise!
                              Come, get lai-ed

                              IDAHO: Ain't nothing here
                              We don't care if you spell potato with an "e"
                              Land of a billion "eyes"

                              ILLINOIS: Land of the voting dead
                              Gateway to Iowa

                              INDIANA: Home of David Letterman

                              IOWA: Just east of Omaha
                              It's easy to spell

                              KANSAS: Hayfever capital of the Midwest
                              Dole slept here
                              There's no place like home
                              Ya want flat, we got flat

                              KENTUCKY: Tobacco is a vegetable
                              We're all related
                              Gateway to Nashville

                              LOUISIANA: Swim the beautiful Bayou
                              Cancer Alley's just a name, and names will
                              never hurt you

                              MAINE: For Sale
                              You can spit on Canada from here

                              MARYLAND: If it weren't for Washington, you couldn't find us

                              MASSACHUSETTS: Home of the young girls from Nantucket,
                              also the home of Ted Kennedy, hmmmm...

                              MICHIGAN: Land of the free, home of the Buick

                              MINNESOTA: Not Sweden, but we try to act like it
                              Sure beats Canada

                              MISSISSIPPI: We're lucky we can spell it
                              Why would you want to come here?

                              MISSOURI: Gateway to Kansas
                              Here's mine, Show Me yours
                              We're better than Illinois

                              MONTANA: Land of the Big Sky, and very little else
                              We've got lots of 10'x10' shacks in the woods
                              It's where you're wanted.
                              At least our cows are sane.

                              NEBRASKA: More corn than Kansas
                              Go to Kansas, turn north

                              NEVADA: More weirdos than Alaska (warmer too)
                              2 words - Death Valley
                              3:5 you'll leave broke
                              We have our own nuclear testing site

                              NEW HAMPSHIRE: Like Old Hampshire, only newer
                              About as exciting as Vermont

                              NEW JERSEY: You have the right to remain silent,
                              You have the right to an attorney...
                              Tell 'em Guido sent ya

                              NEW MEXICO: Lizards make excellent pets
                              We have reservations
                              Alien Welcome Center - Roswell

                              NEW YORK: At least we're not New Jersey!
                              We're more than a big city; we're a state
                              Like we CARE about a motto
                              English spoken here; sometimes

                              NORTH CAROLINA: Five million people; Fifteen last names
                              We're bigger than South Carolina

                              NORTH DAKOTA: The OTHER South Dakota

                              OHIO: Don't judge us by Cleveland
                              Proud polluters of Lake Erie
                              We're easy to spell

                              OKLAHOMA: We're OK, you're NOT!
                              I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto

                              OREGON: As pretty as California but not as weird
                              We're not named after a musical instrument
                              You can see the sunset from here

                              PENNSYLVANIA: Cook with coal
                              Free lub job with oil change

                              RHODE ISLAND: Size ain't everything
                              Nobody famous came from Rhode Island

                              SOUTH CAROLINA: Just south of North Carolina

                              SOUTH DAKOTA: Closer than North Dakota

                              TENNESSEE: The Educashun State
                              Thank goodness we've still got Elvis
                              A great fixer-upper

                              TEXAS: Si Hablo Ingles
                              See, EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas!

                              UTAH: Our Jesus is better than your Jesus
                              At least our sheep can't talk

                              VERMONT: Bet ya can't name 2 of our towns

                              VIRGINIA: Please don't confuse us with West Virginia!

                              WASHINGTON: We like our state, so STAY OUT!

                              WEST VIRGINIA: Where "family values" has a different meaning

                              WISCONSIN: Land of funny accents.
                              Say "Cheeeese"

                              WYOMING: Where men are lonely and sheep are scared
                              It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
                              RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

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                              • #45
                                Or from another list

                                Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity

                                Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

                                Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat

                                Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything

                                California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

                                Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

                                Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It-Yet

                                Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

                                Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

                                Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

                                Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

                                Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well Okay We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

                                Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

                                Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

                                Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn

                                Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States

                                Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

                                Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

                                Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

                                Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

                                Massachusetts: Our taxes are less Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

                                Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

                                Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

                                Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

                                Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

                                Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, And Very Little Else

                                Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

                                Nevada: Hookers and Poker!

                                New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone

                                New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

                                New Mexico: UFO Spotting For 50 years

                                New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney ...

                                North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable

                                North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

                                Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan

                                Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing

                                Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

                                Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

                                Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island

                                South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

                                South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

                                Tennessee: The Educashun State

                                Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)

                                Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

                                Vermont: Yep

                                Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

                                Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!

                                Washington, D.C.:Wanna Be Mayor?

                                West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Really!

                                Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese

                                Wyoming: Where Men Are Men ... and the sheep are scared
                                It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
                                RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

                                Comment

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