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Alabama: Celebrating Man’s 3000 Years on Earth.
Alaska: Alaska Needs Women. Now.
Arizona: Grandpa Says "Hi!"
Arkansas: Excuse the Mess. We Weren’t Expecting Company.
California: A State of Emergency.
Colorado: Rocky Mountains and, uh, Other Stuff.
Connecticut: Where Fully-Loaded Humvees and Fully-Armed Pick-Up Trucks Collide.
Delaware: You Just Passed Delaware.
Florida: Please Don’t Judge Us by Jacksonville.
Georgia: That Better Be a Tan, Son.
Hawaii: If Ever There Were a Place to Be Unemployed…
Idaho: What if God Said "Whatever."
Illinois: If We Didn’t Have Chicago We…We Don’t Know What We’d Do…
Indiana: Mistake or Not, We’re Still Glad You Came.
Iowa: Live a Little. Very Little.
Kansas: Look at All Those Planes Fly Overhead.
Kentucky: The Derby Is to Us What Carnival Is to Brazil—The One Small Light at the End of a Very, Very Long Tunnel.
Louisiana: Man, What Did We Do Last Night?
Maine: Because Why Should Winter Only Last Three Months?
Maryland: 25 Years with an Aquarium.
Michigan: You’ll Think You Died.
Minnesota: Land of 10,000 Lakes and 40,000 Applebee’s.
Mississippi: Send Help.
Missouri: Show Us What You Got. We Probably Need It.
Montana: No, We Don’t Have Any Plans for Tonight. You?
Nebraska: Let’s Just Say There Better Be Heaven.
Nevada: If Amsterdam Were No Longer Cool.
New Hampshire: Vermont with the Safety Off.
New Jersey: When You Can’t Afford Manhattan but You Just Can’t Move to Long Island.
New Mexico: Yes, It Can Get Even Hotter.
New York: Loved for about 30 Seconds back in 2001.
North Carolina: First in Flight, Almost Dead Last in Destination.
North Dakota: Our State Bird Froze to Death.
Ohio: We Close at 5.
Oklahoma: Before There Was a Musical There Was, Well, This…
Oregon: Just One More State and Then It’s Cheap Canadian Prescription Drugs.
Pennsylvania: So Important Once.
Rhode Island: Between the Mobil and the Krispy Kreme on Oak Street
South Carolina: North Carolina with a G.E.D.
South Dakota: Because Some Can Do Without.
Tennessee: Thank Us for the Country Music. Smack Us Because of the Country Music.
Texas: So Much to Apologize For.
Utah: The Bastard Child of Church and State.
Vermont: Come Back, Phish.
Virginia: The Mother of Presidents. The Whore of Big Tobacco.
Washington: No, the Other Washington.
West Virginia: Why Are You Laughing?
Wisconsin: Birth. Cheese. Beer. Death.
Wyoming: Wyoming and You. Now That Makes Four People.
Alaska: Alaska Needs Women. Now.
Arizona: Grandpa Says "Hi!"
Arkansas: Excuse the Mess. We Weren’t Expecting Company.
California: A State of Emergency.
Colorado: Rocky Mountains and, uh, Other Stuff.
Connecticut: Where Fully-Loaded Humvees and Fully-Armed Pick-Up Trucks Collide.
Delaware: You Just Passed Delaware.
Florida: Please Don’t Judge Us by Jacksonville.
Georgia: That Better Be a Tan, Son.
Hawaii: If Ever There Were a Place to Be Unemployed…
Idaho: What if God Said "Whatever."
Illinois: If We Didn’t Have Chicago We…We Don’t Know What We’d Do…
Indiana: Mistake or Not, We’re Still Glad You Came.
Iowa: Live a Little. Very Little.
Kansas: Look at All Those Planes Fly Overhead.
Kentucky: The Derby Is to Us What Carnival Is to Brazil—The One Small Light at the End of a Very, Very Long Tunnel.
Louisiana: Man, What Did We Do Last Night?
Maine: Because Why Should Winter Only Last Three Months?
Maryland: 25 Years with an Aquarium.
Michigan: You’ll Think You Died.
Minnesota: Land of 10,000 Lakes and 40,000 Applebee’s.
Mississippi: Send Help.
Missouri: Show Us What You Got. We Probably Need It.
Montana: No, We Don’t Have Any Plans for Tonight. You?
Nebraska: Let’s Just Say There Better Be Heaven.
Nevada: If Amsterdam Were No Longer Cool.
New Hampshire: Vermont with the Safety Off.
New Jersey: When You Can’t Afford Manhattan but You Just Can’t Move to Long Island.
New Mexico: Yes, It Can Get Even Hotter.
New York: Loved for about 30 Seconds back in 2001.
North Carolina: First in Flight, Almost Dead Last in Destination.
North Dakota: Our State Bird Froze to Death.
Ohio: We Close at 5.
Oklahoma: Before There Was a Musical There Was, Well, This…
Oregon: Just One More State and Then It’s Cheap Canadian Prescription Drugs.
Pennsylvania: So Important Once.
Rhode Island: Between the Mobil and the Krispy Kreme on Oak Street
South Carolina: North Carolina with a G.E.D.
South Dakota: Because Some Can Do Without.
Tennessee: Thank Us for the Country Music. Smack Us Because of the Country Music.
Texas: So Much to Apologize For.
Utah: The Bastard Child of Church and State.
Vermont: Come Back, Phish.
Virginia: The Mother of Presidents. The Whore of Big Tobacco.
Washington: No, the Other Washington.
West Virginia: Why Are You Laughing?
Wisconsin: Birth. Cheese. Beer. Death.
Wyoming: Wyoming and You. Now That Makes Four People.
, 1996-Perot 
, 2004-Bush :|, 2008-Obama :|, 2012-Obama 
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