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How To Tell the Bad Guys . . .

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  • How To Tell the Bad Guys . . .

    (1) If one of the good guys, especially if he is particularly ugly, dresses up like a woman, a bad guy will instantly be romatically attracted to him.

    2) If there is a sharp object protruding anywhere near the end of the movie, a bad guy will fall on it. The sharp object will not impale any arm, leg or earlobe but will invariably pierce the middle of the bad guy's chest.

    3) A head bad guy will have impeccable manners.

    4) An innocent person dying is incredibly funny to a bad guy.

  • #2
    Is this real life or movies??
    When you find yourself arguing with an idiot, you might want to rethink who the idiot really is.
    "It can't rain all the time"-Eric Draven
    Being dyslexic is hard work. I don't even try anymore.

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    • #3
      Re: How To Tell the Bad Guys . . .

      Originally posted by Zkribbler
      4) An innocent person dying is incredibly funny to a bad guy.
      But that's funny to everyone if it's a hokey enough death, like the chest-bursters from Alien.
      The cake is NOT a lie. It's so delicious and moist.

      The Weighted Companion Cube is cheating on you, that slut.

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      • #4
        You think that was funny?? DRoseDARs is a bad guy!!!

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        • #5

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          • #6
            I'd like to keep one as a pet.
            The cake is NOT a lie. It's so delicious and moist.

            The Weighted Companion Cube is cheating on you, that slut.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Zkribbler
              You think that was funny?? DRoseDARs is a bad guy!!!
              Or the one from Spaceballs.

              "Oh no. Not again..." *croak* *que song-and-dance*
              The cake is NOT a lie. It's so delicious and moist.

              The Weighted Companion Cube is cheating on you, that slut.

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              • #8
                5) Facing certain death at the hand of the good guy, the bad guy will suddenly have a change of heart and beg for mercy rather than continue being a tough nail till the end. He will often try to win favour by offering half of the loot that the good guy took from him just 45 seconds ago.

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                • #9
                  And..

                  6) Bad guys have a 500% increased chance of being hit by bullets, compared to good guys.

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                  • #10
                    7) The head baddie, if European, is most likely to be British, followed by a German than a Frenchman. It is an absolute certainty that there will be no Finnish bad guys.


                    P.S. Isn't it a little late to be posting, Taxman?
                    If you look around and think everyone else is an *******, you're the *******.

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                    • #11
                      8) Minor baddies have great aim with firearms and intentionally miss the hero.
                      (\__/) 07/07/1937 - Never forget
                      (='.'=) "Claims demand evidence; extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence." -- Carl Sagan
                      (")_(") "Starting the fire from within."

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                      • #12
                        6a) Bad guys can use all nonnuclear weapons and still miss while good guys can hit a target with a .22 derringer at 500m shooting from a jeep going cross country at 80 km/h
                        With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

                        Steven Weinberg

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                        • #13
                          9) Head bad guys love to gloat about their diabolical plans, particularly when asked (even if asked by a good guy).

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                          • #14
                            10) Head bad guys never do the sensible thing, that is put a bullet in the head of the good guy - no way, it must be some clever contraption and of couse without surveillance (though, that thingie in - was it goldfinger ? - still give me the creep ).
                            With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

                            Steven Weinberg

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                            • #15
                              You mean the laser beam between the legs?

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