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The Law of Unintended Consequences

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  • #1

    The Law of Unintended Consequences

    So last week, there was a message from the apartment complex on my door. It said that they would be putting up screens on everyone's balconies and porches, since pidgeons and other birds had become a problem. Now, I had never had a problem with avian wildlife infiltrating my balcony, but on the other hand, I figured I could now leave my balcony door open and enjoy a nice breeze without inviting insects. So they come and install the screens, no big deal.

    So I get home from work this morning, and I sleep until 3 PM, as is usual this month. (I HATE working nights.) And when I wake up, there are no less than three pidgeons on my balcony. How did they get there? I don't know. And clearly they don't know either, because they can't get back out, and are making an unholy noise (and mess). Naturally, the screens are nailed and screwed into the building frame, and I lent all my tools to some people at work. So my last resort is to cut a flap into the screen and pin it up with an extra nail I have lying around. Of course, the birds are completely ignoring this, and are content to perch on the fence that separates my balcony from my neighbor's, chirping and flapping and ****ting all over the place.

    Goddamnit.
    "My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
    "The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund Freud
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  • #2
    Shoot them.

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    • #3
      I even put some damned bread crumbs on the railing beyond the screen, and the dumb buggers are still sitting there.

      My life is farce.
      "My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
      "The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund Freud

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      • #4
        Don't give them any food, and they will eventually die...it sounds cruel, but from what I understand, they aren't eating the food you give them anyway, so what's the difference...

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        • #5
          Maybe I'm weird, but I'd rather not have three dead pidgeons on my balcony.
          "My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
          "The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund Freud

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          • #6
            Yeah, you do. You just don't know it yet.

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            • #7
              Dead pigeons are infinitely preferable to their living counterparts. I suggest a BB gun.
              Tutto nel mondo è burla

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              • #8
                Know anyone with a cat ?


                - "Tweety, meet Sylvester. He wants to play."
                "I say shoot'em all and let God sort it out in the end!

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                • #9
                  Put in the "No Pidgeons" hip hop CD and turn it up full blast.
                  We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution. - Abraham Lincoln

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                  • #10
                    French rap will do the trick I believe...

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Dr Strangelove
                      Know anyone with a cat ?
                      Frankly, I'd rather suffer the birds than have to deal with a cat.

                      I hate those things.
                      "My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
                      "The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund Freud

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                      • #12
                        Rice and water, in that sequence.
                        Visit First Cultural Industries
                        There are reasons why I believe mankind should live in cities and let nature reclaim all the villages with the exception of a few we keep on display as horrific reminders of rural life.-Starchild
                        Meat eating and the dominance and force projected over animals that is acompanies it is a gateway or parallel to other prejudiced beliefs such as classism, misogyny, and even racism. -General Ludd

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Smiley
                          Rice and water, in that sequence.
                          Why can't you be a non-conformist just like everybody else?

                          It's no good (from an evolutionary point of view) to have the physique of Tarzan if you have the sex drive of a philosopher. -- Michael Ruse
                          The Nedaverse I can accept, but not the Berzaverse. There can only be so many alternate realities. -- Elok

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Commy
                            French rap will do the trick I believe...
                            "And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man." -- JFK Inaugural, 1961
                            "Extremism in the defense of liberty is not a vice." -- Barry Goldwater, 1964 GOP Nomination acceptance speech (not George W. Bush 40 years later...)
                            2004 Presidential Candidate
                            2008 Presidential Candidate (for what its worth)

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                            • #15
                              Grab them one by one and push them through the hole.
                              "Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master" - Commissioner Pravin Lal.

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