Oi women are teh confusing. 'Poly women mind translating for me?

[Bosh]

You're a cuddle *****. You are ****ed, oh so very very ****ed

No sex for you!

[Jon Miller]

I ahve female freinds

they want to talk to me, they even want to confide in me

they dont' want to cuddle, and they don't want to sleep with me

so I Think this might be sometihng a bit different..

jM

[Dr Strangelove]

You said that she often stays out late. Do you know where she goes when she goes out by herself? Is she going out looking for guys, or is she meeting someone in particular or is she just going out with the girls? Does she have a relationship already or is she recovering from one that went sour? Maybe she's not really very interested in you but she appreciates you as a stable base providing a little security (i.e. the cuddling). Really you need to talk to her more. Perhaps you tried but she clammed up. One way of getting her to talk is to open up about yourself. You could talk to her about your life, living with your mother, living in Alaska, what your plans and hopes are, what you'd like in a relationship, etc. Once you get the ball going people often join in. Be prepared though that what you find out may not be what you had hooped for.

[Space05us]

You said that she often stays out late. Do you know where she goes when she goes out by herself? Is she going out looking for guys, or is she meeting someone in particular or is she just going out with the girls?

Over that past week shes been out with me, she said that before she would just go home and sleep or watch a movie with her cousin.

Does she have a relationship already or is she recovering from one that went sour?

I dont know how long ago her last relationship was but it was very sour.

If things don't work out, you can always hit on her friends.

Ive already started working my charm on another coworker. If nothing develops with Chica over the next couple of weeks I will switch targets.

[Bosh]

Ive already started working my charm on another coworker. If nothing develops with Chica over the next couple of weeks I will switch targets.

Couple of weeks? Isn't that a bit to long of a time-frame? Use jealosy to your advantage

[aneeshm]

I've observed that when women say they want a 'nice guy' , guys tend to forget the latter and obsess over the former . You , apparently , have fallen into this trap . The ideal is to be a nice guy without suppressing your sexuality .

[Agathon]

Who cares if the ladder theory is pop psychology. It's true for the most part and that's what counts.

Women are just pissed because we're on to them.

[Flubber]

Re: Oi women are teh confusing. 'Poly women mind translating for me?

Originally posted by Space05us
She insists we're just friends.

You could just believe her and act like a friend. Do you want to hang with her if it will only ever be friends??

Originally posted by Space05us
Why does she call out of nowhere to talk about nothing?

Ambiguous. She would do that with a good friend as well as a love interest.

Originally posted by Space05us Why does she cuddle with me in my bed after work?

This one got my attention since if I was cuddling a hot lady, various parts would come to attention. If you want to make her aware of that, you could always "spoon" with her. You don't need to get perverted but she would definitely become aware that you were "interested". The cuddling thing is the one that seems odd to me but perhaps she just needs comfort as others has suggested and its not a romantic or sexual thing for her.

Originally posted by Space05us
She even waited almost 2 hours after she got off just to give me a ride home last night, and stayed out an hour longer than usual. She usually gets home by 1 at the latest, last night she stayed until almost 2:30.

This is friend behavior only for very good friends.

Originally posted by Space05us Not that I mind, Im just confused. This is not normal friend stuff, is it?

Inconclusive. Some of her behavior shows a regard for you that would go past normal friends into very very good friends. The cuddling is the only thing that has romantic overtones and that is counteracted by her blunt statement that she wants to be friends.

If it were me, I would assess my own feelings. If I didn't feel anything special for her, I would move on. You would then have the secondary decision of whether you want this particular friendship to continue. A friendship can be quite valuable in and of itself.

If you do have feelings for her beyond generalized horniness, then I think you should make them clear. With such feelings, you might never be really comfortable in the friend zone so why not be clear on that? If you really don't want the friendship only, why not go for what you really want.

[Az]

Btw, a thing that I didn't get..... does spacey want her to be more than friends?

[Sprayber]

Originally posted by Ben Kenobi
Ask her what she means by a friend. Tell her where you come from friends don't sleep in each other's beds.

I've had female friends sleep in my bed before. It is possible to sleep in the same bed without having sex.

[Mrs. Tuberski]

Geez guys with all that advice your about to get the poor guy slapped and the **** kicked out of him. The girl obviosuly enjoys your company it is possible that she has had a lot of bad reltaionships and wants a good friend to hang out with that happens to be a man. She feels safe and comfortable with you and cares about you but may not be attracted to you. Ususally when a woman says you are her friend it means you are just that. Doesnt mean that she might want more later but you have to be patient and respect her space. at the same time if she is doing things that lead you to think other things then there is nothing wrong with telling her or asking her where this is going.

[Last Conformist]

Ususally when a woman says you are her friend it means you are just that.

Translation: Run for your life!

[Imran Siddiqui]

So do the women on this forum think it is normal to cuddle in bed with someone 'just a friend'? That just seems... odd.

[Dinner]

Originally posted by Bosh

Couple of weeks? Isn't that a bit to long of a time-frame? Use jealosy to your advantage

This tactic is Oerdin approved.

You'll be chatting up girl #2 while possibly giving girl #1 a reason to over come her confusion/indecision (assuming that is the problem) and if you're a cuddle ***** on her friends ladder then it will give you a chance to attempt a ladder jump to her real ladder. It likely won't work but you can try.l

[Dinner]

BTW I'd advise against the wait and see approach. Like UR said there is a narrow window of opportunity in most cases where you have a chance to be a romantic interest or you slide into the friends zone. For guys the girl is really interested in he can work his way out of the friends zone and onto the real ladder but most of us normal guys find that difficult. Therefor it is best to move before you get sentenced to the "just friends" ladder.

You don't have to profess undying love to her or anything but do have to make it clear you're single, you like her, and the door is open.