I need thoughts or help about inheritence

[JohnT]

Re: I need thoughts or help about inheritence

Originally posted by Tiamat
As many of you know my father recently passed away. I have inherited money, and things. So who's money is it anyway. I inherited it but who's is it? Is it mine or should as my family thinks spend it on things for them? Initially I was told it's your money he left it to you so you spend it the way you want. Lately alot of ideas are coming my way about what I should spend it on. I finally told my husband that they way I feel about it is this..... This is money that my father left to me for me to decide to spend the way I want because I was his daughter. When I found out how much I inherited I immedidetly made a decision to buy a china cabinet due to some things that I got and to put the rest of the money in a money market account or IRA or something that would make me money until I can decide what exactly to do with it. My father also wanted me to go to school so I thought I might use it for that.

My bottom line is that I feel like these are my things that were left to me and I feel that I should have the right to decide what to do with it insted of being guilted into what other people want for that money. It's becoming a large bone of contention for me now. Am I being selfish?

1. You never said whether this was written down, witnessed, and/or notarized. Was it?

2. By "family", whom do you mean? Hubbie, kids, parents, extended? (Sounds like husband to me.)

3. Give some examples of the "things" you can sell. You also didn't mention how much the cash portion of the estate was worth.

You did mention that he set up your kids nicely, which I assume means that a good chunk of their college is paid for (as long as you can keep your hands off it. ) If not, that's my first priority for the money remaining after the china cabinet purchase (if the china cabinet is a significant percentage of the inheritance, say 10% or more, you should sit down and think: do you really need it?)

Don't use it to buy stuff. "Stuff" is a drain... a drain upon your time, upon your finances, upon your spirit. Nothing is more oppressive than going into a house that's filled with stuff, and nothing is more saddening than to think of all the time and money that have been spent accumulating... stuff.

I'm serious, Tiamat. Unless your hubby is talking about buying T-Bills or 529 plans, spending this money (which is nothing less than your father's trust in you) on "goods and services" would be a tragic waste.

In another thread I described my plans for an inheritance I received upon my grandmother's passing... imho, there's a lot of good information in that thread as the plan so far has appreciated at a 13.1% annual rate.

I recently went bearish on the market, but the thread got deleted before I could archive it ( ). Sorry 'bout that.

[chequita guevara]

It's your money. The problem is, everyone will now be expecting a handout. You're about to find out how your real friends are. Receiving a large sum of money has frequently been one of the worst things to ever happen to a person.

If it was me, I would do three things with it.

#1, pay off all my debts.
#2, set up a retirement account
#3, give the rest away to charities, which could include 529s for the children of friends and family

But that's me, and I'm not offering it as advice.

[Dinner]

If ou don't have a significant nest egg then this is your hance to make up for lost time. Do you own a house? I ask because if your goal is to save then few things beat buying your own home. If you do own a house then an IRA maxed out for this year with a bit saved for next year is a good way to lock the money in towards retirement. I would avoid going on a spending spree and I would also avoid selling family heirlooms as so many marriages fail these days your husband might not last as long as the heirlooms have. Just food for thought.

[Japher]

IRA only allows so much per year, surely more than what was left. Don't put it in an IRA.

Do with it what you think your father would want you to do with it, and think not of others.

Go to school with it. Or, as you well know you want to, give it to your internet buddies!

[DRoseDARs]

Tia, I can't remember: Do you have any children of your own? Perhaps converting all but the most precious sentimental items into money and then transferring it all into a college fund would be the best thing to do. You certainly would have NO reason to feel guilty then. Beyond that, if your father left this stuff with you and others are trying to guilt trip you, tell them to f*ck off. He left it with you, not them.

[Dinner]

There was definiately a huge four or five way flame war which Taimat was involved in which lasted months and months. It even spilled over into other forums.

That's ancient history though so why bring it up, TCO?

[Frozzy]

It's your money. Do what you want with it.

If it were me I'd satisfy my immediate problems (and I don't mean lack of luxuries, I mean debts and such), then put the rest in a savings account or something.

You can't feel guilty about that.

[Dis]

It's your money. But seeing as you are in a loving marriage (I hope), then it makes sense to discuss this together. Although I've never been married, and I know some married couples handled their finances differently. Some file jointly, and have joint bank accounts. While some keep their finances separate.

I guess I'm not qualified to answer, as I've never been married. But just figure out which of those 2 groups (or in between) above you are in. Either way communication is important.

[Dinner]

More details are needed to make an informed decision.

[Skanky Burns]

Originally posted by Spiffor
First thing to know is if you'll have to pay inheritance taxes and various fees. A chunk of the inheritance should be kept just for that.

Your government sucks, you should think about getting a new one.
(Inheritance in Australia is tax-free)

[Zoid]

Tia, it´s your money. Pay off any debts you might have and invest the rest wisely (retirement funds and such). I would also travel to wondrous far away places like Macchu Picchu, the great wall of China, the pyramids, Taj Mahal and Angkor Wat. You could even invite your relatives and make it a celeberatory trip in you fathers memory.

Originally posted by Oerdin
There was definiately a huge four or five way flame war which Taimat was involved in which lasted months and months. It even spilled over into other forums.

That's ancient history though so why bring it up, TCO?

Because he´s a dumbass troll?

[Spiffor]

Originally posted by Skanky Burns
Your government sucks, you should think about getting a new one.
(Inheritance in Australia is tax-free)

Here, high inheritances get taxed, and low inheritances don't. I believe the US has a "death tax" as well, but I don't know at all the specifics.

Besides, taxes aren't the only thing that can be paid after a death. There can be various fees (notary fees, for example), which can amount quite a bunch, and that should be planned.

[DanS]

Inheritance taxes were abolished a couple of years ago in the States. However, there might be some local inheritance taxes. Tiamat should ask her tax preparer about that.

Tiamat: It's your money. I understand that you and your father were close. Given this, it's a good rule of thumb to do nothing with your money for a year or so. That will help you separate the emotion of his death from the money that he left and it also will give you time to decide the best way to handle this money. Tell the people who want you to spend the money quickly for x, y, and z to chill out about the money.

[Ming]

TCO... enough with the crap.. I've deleted it all from this thread... if you go there again, you're toast!

[Tiamat]

Didn't see what TCO posted but I can only imagine. Old news is just that. Let sleeping dragons lie.

Ok, it was very specific in his will. I thought about being specific but this is the internet and well one should be careful. Don't really feel comfortable listing exactly what I got. Sufice to say it's was pleanty. The children (3) already had trust funds established long ago in mutual funds so they are already set. Substantial amount of money and property (antiques) left to me by my father, and then when my step mother passes I get the rest of the furniture, paintings, crystal etc. So yes I'm doing ok.

Two of the children got their noses out of joint because of the money I'm to receive to which for me......I don't even want it because of what it represents it means he's not here and I would give it all back just to have him here. Mainly it's hubby. He has this mustang convertible with a busted up roof. Mind you my parents poured almost $2500 into the engine of that car as well as wrote him a check for $1000 to replace the roof which he didn't do. He spent it on some bills or such and said he would replace it himself. So now he's working on me to pony up the money to get the roof fixed. Frankly I don't want to.

In the past I've not been good with money and the fact that my father trusted me on any level with any money much less this....well I would just feel that I would be betraying his trust if I spent it on something as trivial as a car roof. Actually I was planning a trip with this money. Dad went to West Point and I thought how nice it would be to actually go there and see the place that my father held so dear. It would mean alot to me. Still think I should do with it what I want.