Cooking for vegetarians....

[Asmodean]

So, we had a dinner party with some friends last night (we do that a lot in our circles). My wife and I had invited 2 other couples, and as it was my turn to cook, I decided to make what I like best: Entrecôtes in oregano and tomato sauce, with oven-cooked potatoes and a mushroom/onion salad cooked in red-wine.

My good friend, Jorgen, is recently divorced, and he brought his new girlfriend. As I served the food, he and the new girlfriend grew suddenly very silent. Naturally, I asked if something was wrong, and he said: "Didn't you know that Tina is a vegetarian?"

I didn't, really I didn't. Perhaps he had mentioned it, perhaps he hadn't. I honestly can't remember. And as I hadn't prepared any vegetarian food, she had to eat only potatoes and the small side-dish of mushrooms and onions.

Afterwards, I got to thinking. So what if she is a vegetarian? Why should I care?? Where I come from, you eat what's on the table. Period. Naturally, I tried to smooth things over, and apologize, but I really felt that I shouldn't be. Apologizing, that is.

I happen to hate musles and calamari, and most other kinds of sea-food, except fish, but if I were at a party, and I was served sea-food, I would eat it, because that's what you do. Why is it, that vegetarians are different? I know people who cook vegetarian food, if they know that a guest is vegetarian, or at least cook something for that person only, but I just don't agree with that idea. You eat what is served. If you don't happen to like it, you eat only a little. But to deny eating something at a dinner-party, for what-ever reason...now that's just plain impolite.

Am I wrong here, guys? Should I relent, and cook something special for her, the next time they come over. It's not that I have anything against vegetarians or for that matter against her. It's just that I don't get it. Does the fact that vegetarians don't eat meat as a matter of principle give them special priviledges, that the rest of us don't enjoy. Please give me your opinion.

Asmodean

[Jon Miller]

I get sick if I eat meat

and I feel ill at the thought of eating it

so no thank you, I am not that polite

Jon Miller

[General Ludd]

Re: Cooking for vegetarians....

Originally posted by Asmodean

I happen to hate musles and calamari, and most other kinds of sea-food, except fish, but if I were at a party, and I was served sea-food, I would eat it, because that's what you do. Why is it, that vegetarians are different? I know people who cook vegetarian food, if they know that a guest is vegetarian, or at least cook something for that person only, but I just don't agree with that idea. You eat what is served. If you don't happen to like it, you eat only a little. But to deny eating something at a dinner-party, for what-ever reason...now that's just plain impolite.

Not as unpolite as cooking something for a guest that you know they don't want to eat. If it's unexpected and acidental, and they didn't bother to tell you before hand, then cest la vie - Every vegetarian has had to make do with nothing but a side dish every now and then, but cooking something vegetarian the next time is not "relenting" - it is being a good host.



And I am sure there are things that you wouldn't eat. Hell, I know alot of people that would pick around something as simple and common as brussels sprouts and refuse to have any when at someone's house... of course, that's rarely seen as impolite because it isn't meat.

[Saras]

Medium rare ribeye steak... mmmmm....

[Verres]

I wouldn't expect things to be cooked especially for me just because I was a vegetarian - but equally I wouldnt sit and eat meat just so I didnt offend people. I would not expect a Jewish person to eat a joint of pork out of politeness, why should my principles be respected to a lesser degree?

[General Ludd]

Originally posted by Saras
Medium rare ribeye steak... mmmmm....

You didn't even read the opening post, did you?

[loinburger]

In the invitations to all of my "dinner parties" (if they can be afforded such a name) I always say something like "I'm cooking some beef, come on over" or "I'm cooking some pork, come on over" or whatever have you. That way it's on their heads if they happen to have some sort of ethical problem with eating whatever I'm cooking -- they can either bow out, or they can insist that I cook them something special. Either way, if they tell me upon arriving that they "dont eat X" then I can tell them to **** off without remorse.

In your specific case, I'd guess that Jorgen was trying to appease his girlfriend. He'd have warned you ahead of time if he thought that her dietary preferences would have been a significant factor in your preparations, IMO -- I'll be that he forgot that she was a member of whatever-goofy-dietary-subset she belonged to until it was too late.

[Verto]

You should've directed her to your garden. Let her eat like a rabbit outside.

[DRoseDARs]

It's one thing to be a persnickity eater, it's another thing to hold strong convictions about the things you eat. Would you force a Jew to eat non-kosher foods just to satisfy your sense of what the proper eating etiquette should be for guests?

If your guest had been a royal b*tch about it, then certainly you shouldn't be the one apologizing, but it doesn't seem like it went down like that. It was a simple oversight (your friend's fault for not making sure you knew prior to your preparations) that as a vegetarian she has to expect from time to time as someone mentioned earlier. Now that you're aware of her dietary choice, you should continue to be a good host and offer her an alternate meal when she's a guest. It's unlikely she would offer a meat meal if you were a guest in her house, but I suspect only because many veges and vegans are that afraid of contact with meat and animal products. Oh well, a rabbit dinner once-in-a-while won't kill you.

All in all, just be the better person/host. It wouldn't be that difficult to offer a vege dinner in lieu of meat and it would show that you respect her stance on the issue, regardless of your feelings about it. Asmodean, I think you handled the situation just fine and now that you know you can be able to avoid it in the future, making yourself that much a better host.

[Saras]

Originally posted by General Ludd


You didn't even read the opening post, did you?

How come suddenly YOU'RE so serious?

[General Ludd]

Originally posted by Saras


How come suddenly YOU'RE so serious?

I have high standards when it comes to trolling. Sorry, you just don't cut it.

[Asmodean]

Tass and DRoseDARs:

I know that you're right, and that that is of course the way that I'll be handling it, but still....I don't know....

Maybe it's just me, or maybe it's just that it's so different a situation to be dealing with, but I still feel that in general you eat what's put in front of you.

And to General Ludd: No...I always eat what's served: I once a plate full of live shrimps in soy sauce...no kidding.

Asmodean

[Asmodean]

Originally posted by Comrade Tassadar


Well, that is your feeling. If your going to be a nice, good host then you need to respect her ethical beliefs.
You already admitted that we are correct, so any resistence is simply you being stubborn

LOL....yeah. But if that's what I am, then so be it.

Asmodean

[JohnT]

Afterwards, I got to thinking. So what if she is a vegetarian? Why should I care?? Where I come from, you eat what's on the table. Period. Naturally, I tried to smooth things over, and apologize, but I really felt that I shouldn't be. Apologizing, that is.

Precisely. If the guy didn't think enough of her to tell you her preferences beforehand, then the fault lies upon him, not you.

In the interests of keeping things lively, perhaps you should've pointed this out?

[DRoseDARs]

Well, I used to feel the same way about being the good guest and eating whatever you were given... until it almost killed me.

Six words:
Freshly-killed, home-made turkey burger.

*Shudder*

Two words:
Never again.

Edit: Mumbles something about crossposts...