Gnomes: The Next Generation

[bipolarbear]

So who is slacking on orders?

[appleciders]

Just Foolish, it looks like, because Micha never asked to get back into the game. I'll update in three days regardless.

[bipolarbear]

Game Master Ciders is tough, but fair!

As long as we're waiting, here's a funny mockumentary about role playing nerds.

[appleciders]

Amusing indeed.

[foolish_icarus]

The young gnome sifted through the old, brittle leaves, and chunks of scribbled upon bark, handling these most precious of artifacts with considerably less care than they should have been treated.

As sole apprentice to the old Wisegnoman, he was one of only two gnomes in the entire colony that could read or scratch with anything beyond the barest ability, and even his teacher, her hands weak and eyesight failing, could barely do either anymore. So if fell upon him, cursed with literacy, to strain and struggle with these queer old glyphs. He found some of them quite interesting of course; he had a scholar's mind and, had he not been at this for such a dreadfully long time, could have continued to enjoy some of these delightful old...

What was this? No, that couldn't make sense. Could it...? He deciphered the message on the ornamental chunk of bark again. This...He would have to tell his mistress about this. Right away.

Not long after, another young gnome stood in mute surprise, glancing wide eyed at the semicircle of gnomes that had so suddenly accosted him with this news: An old gnoman, leaning crookedly upon her cane, mouth still but eyes squinting in smug amusement; a young, scrawny looking gnome, seeming nervous and out of place, trying to keep very still as if a predator had sighted him; a tough, grizzled looking older gnome in the adornment of public office, frowning and grumbling; a smaller built, and perhaps only slightly younger academic looking gnome who, though at first glance not suited to his military regalia, upon consideration held an energy and dangerousness inside his calm stance; and finally an honor guard of soldiers, one of whom was maintaining military decorum and the other of which still appeared dimly confused.

“Well, no one's going to make you take the job,” came the sour grumble of the mayor. The old gnoman's eyes grinned at the mayor in mockery, and the general gestured calmly and spoke.

“This is a significant task, not to be taken lightly. Everyone knows you do good work out here in the fields, but perhaps you could find it in you to take up different duties?”

The young farmer gnome finally spoke, and surprised himself to hear so much measured assurance in his own voice. “But me, King? King.”

The mayor began to murmur again but the general shushed him. The scrawny little apprentice gnome spoke hurriedly, “Um um your descent is, ehm without doubt not in doubt, eh, traced back, yes, no error there can be no error. It is conclusive. We have been without king, but but now. You, ehh ehh king. Your lineage, it is conclusive.”

All eyes were on the farmer youth, including those of a sizable number of field gnomes who had begun to overhear and gather.

The farmer looked to his shovel, still in hand, then over the fields back to Caivgridde and the gates that led deep into the city. Most of it was underground, yes, but among the decrepit fortifications one supremely sturdy tower had always sat back, jutting upward into shadow and cover, yes, but aboveground nonetheless. The tower of the king.

The young farmer shouldered his shovel and nodded, only a slight motion at first, but quickly growing firm and decisive. He had always rather liked the look of that tower from the outside—now to see it from within.

Orders

3 gnomes to reestablish the monarchy with the long lost descendant of the last line of kings. I figure this actually takes a couple gnomes to, you know, be the king and his advisors and oversee the colony and all that.

The two scholar gnomes of the colony each have an important task set out for them. Each is to take on five apprentices. One group will be instructed for the purpose of reestablishing general scholarship. The other, while also receiving training in lore and academic matters, will have a different emphasis: They will form the core of the new NKVD. Both Scholars (Scratcharians) and NKVD agents are esteemed and important positions, and the king and colony have placed their trust in their ability to succeed.

10 craftsgnomes are to set to work to repair the structure of the scratchiary,

and 20 to begin setting the granary to rights.

17 to begin repairing the road to Karthago

and 12 to train (4, right?) axe gnomes for the valourous defense of our colony

[appleciders]

With all orders in, I'm declaring this turn finished. I will begin the update.

[appleciders]

End of the First Week

P.O.W.A.R.S.
The P.O.W.A.R.S. had a most educational week, between observing the ritual leadership fights at the Nomad camp and researching various technologies and skills. While entertaining, the diplomatic mission to the Nomads has yielded no results, as the Nomads refused to answer the heralds with any serious politcal dialogue. Likewise, the Laketown gnomes were not actively hostile towards the P.O.W.A.R.S. emissary, but did not respond either in the affirmative or the negative- the emissary has returned to Gnew York to report the failure of his mission. The research into "shellmets" has been mostly unfruitful- the researchers report that while the theory appears to be sound, a great deal more effort will need to be applied to develop an effective shellmet and the means to manufacture them effectively. The ancient Beesmen and their young proteges failed in their attempts to capture more of the great beasts, but the apprentice Beesmen are now capable of successfully riding and guiding the bees for short flights, as well as the proper care and management of bees. Longer flights and the capture of additional bees will need to wait on additional resources and technologies- the eldest Beesmen expressed excitement at the possibilities suggested by nets and rope, once they were made to understand what these newfangled contraptions would do. The gnomes assigned to retrain themselves as Twigsaps have successfully created that new branch of the P.O.W.A.R.S. military, and have managed to train 5 of their number to this new level. The fences protecting falls have been slightly improved, but much additional work will be needed to complete them. The brightest point in the week's activities was the successful collection of acorns and a small amount of honey- the bees were too defensive of their nest for the expedition to be especially successful, while the acorns were quite defenseless. An improved food supply has greatly benefited the P.O.W.A.R.S., and will continue to do so as long as the workforce remains dedicated to this endeavor. One week's food supply has been stored, and additional storage will require a major infrastructure improvement.

The moderate plans of the P.O.W.A.R.S. left 12 gnomes dead, while 43 were born, for a gain of 31 gnomes.


Twin Lake Gnomes
A major success was achieved this turn- the lost art of spearing fish. Some minor progress has been made in the area of smoking fish, although this technology is not yet ready to be implemented. Likewise, the storehouse and the barracks/watchtower have been improved but not fully restored. However, the ease with which fish have been captured have added a new food supply to the Laketown repertoire. The training of the new military gnomes was also a success, which was quite a good thing, since both BBQ and Trash Gnome raiding parties were sighted skulking around the borders of the city. The bush has yielded two materials- the stringy bark that is used to make rope and a sticky, inedible green paste made from the leaves.

The conservative plans of the Twin Lake Gnomes kept losses to four gnomes this turn, while 25 gnomes were born, for a gain of 21 gnomes.


Wall Gnomes
A rather unambitious week by the Wall Gnomes has left many outside observers wondering if this tribe has what it takes to return from the ravages of uncivilized life. Squabbling and poor communication amongst the gnomes have left the Wall Gnomes with little to show for their week's work beyond a subsistance diet of local seeds. Some forces seem to be at work behind the scenes, however- several gnomes have managed to take up arms as Spear Gnomes, and a rumored increase in the ranks of the Walluminati suggests that the seeds of power may still be present. Outside intervention in the Wall Gnomes might help steer them back into the ranks of civilized society, though an unscrupulous enemy might take advantage of their weakened state.

Twenty gnomes were born while seven died, leaving a gain of 13 gnomes.

Clay Gnomes
The resumption of the monarchy has lent a degree of stability and purpose to the Clay Gnome people. The nearly-lost art of scratching has been successfully passed on in its rudiments to several of the apprentices, though further instruction while the elder Scratcharians might be both prudent and rewarding. While no gnome save the King can be sure, rumor has it that the old NKVD has been reformed and once again serves the King from out of sight. While the Scratchiary has not been fully repaired, any further collapses have been prevented by the repairs. More success was seen by the gnomes repairing the granary- while it is not fully complete, it will serve to hold more than a single season's food supply, should the Clay Gnomes begin to develop a surplus of food. The road to Karthago was almost unidentifiable, but a significant portion of the work is complete- the gnomes report to the King that the work is more than half done. Four new Axe Gnomes were a prudent choice, but probably not enough- a light skirmish with roaming BBQ Gnome raiders left two Spear Gnomes dead. The identification of the King has improved the loyalty and happiness of the population.

34 gnomes were born, while the relative safe plans and naturally defensible Caivgridde kept the Claykin safe this week, and only 7 gnomes died, for a gain of 27 gnomes.


Trash Gnomes
The Trash Gnome King used his week to further consolidate his hold on Trash City- the plentiful food supply allowed him to spend his week forcing his populace to build defenses for Trash City, rather than the extra supports on the buildings that many advised to help the peasants survive the trashslides and impacts of new trash. A focus on the military has led many outside observers to expect the Trash King to reopen diplomacy with the outside community- possibly quite forcefully.

56 gnomes were born this turn, while 18 died, for a gain of 38 gnomes.


Barbecue Gnomes
The Barbecue Gnomes seem to be up to their old tricks again, skulking around the Twin Lakes and the Caivgridde areas, even making an ill-fated raid on a Clay Gnome foraging party that was protected by a portion of the Claykin army. Still, the raiding parties have brought in a large amount of food, leading to a small boom in the Barbecue population. Several new additions to the army will make them a force to be reckoned with in the coming weeks.

21 gnomes were born, while 7 died, for a gain of 14.


Bush Gnomes
An uneventful week for the Bush Gnomes was characterized by political infighting amongst the descendants of the old residents of Karthago and the residents of the border towns of the area. The power struggle in Karthago has slowed progress but minor gains in the area of ant farming suggest that the Bush Gnomes may be a power to be reckoned with if the infighting ever ceases.

27 gnomes were born, while 15 died, for a gain of 12 gnomes.


Nomads
The Nomads focused this week on selecting a leader through trial by physical combat. While this was costly to their population, the leader chosen is assured to be among the finest fighter in the yard. This contest has also had the effect of significantly improving the Nomad military rating, as well as the loyalty and happiness due to the fair selection of a worthy leader. The Nomads have settled their population just north of the the P.O.W.A.R.S; it will take one turn to pick up stakes and move, should the new leader so choose.

11 gnomes died, while 12 were born, leaving a gain of just one gnome.

[appleciders]

Alright, that's the first update. I'll get the map in soon, though the only change is the addition of the Nomad city.

[General Ludd]

With the tournment over, the winner - known by the name of Gromit - is made Big Chief.

Immediately after being announced the champion, Big Chief Gromit begins making changes. He announces that the five most talented, honourable, and clever fighters that he faced during the tournment will be made his closest confidants, assistants, and guards( aswell as other secret things). These five will be known as the Formible Five. Further more, the Big Chief also declares that the nomads need to ensure that they can protect themselves during these chaotic times, and 10 new spear gnomes will be trained.

His second declaration is that there will be a grand grass weaving festival, to celebrate Nomad culture and help cultivate this unique talent that the nomads brought here from eastern yards. five prizes will be awarded; for the most durable weaves, the most innovate uses of weaving, best pattern, best basket, and best clothing. All gnomes who are not in training will take part in the festival.

Finally, the Big Chief addresses the POWAR emmisary and tells him: "An exchange for grass weaving technology will simply not be possible, as it is a deeply revered cultural heritage of our people, but we wish the best for your tribe. If you would like I will offer one of my Formible Five to escort you back to Gnew York."

[bipolarbear]

My orders should be in by tomorrow.

Edit: Orders delayed for extra special reasons.

[Gamecube64]

In his General great wisdom, and other such nonsense, the king has ordered that 20 gnomes finish the barracks-watchtower-underground dealy, and that 20 finish the storehouse.

20 gnomes will be used to try to build lake-worthy vessels out of thick-bush branches tied together with rope and "pitched" with the strange, sticky sap.

10 gnomes will be full time fishers, while 10 others will try to revive the old technology of "smoking" fish.

10 gnomes to be trained as spearmen, while 10 others will be trained as slinger.

[bipolarbear]

The great POWAR patriarchs hang heavy their hirsute heads in heartache for the many gnomes who still half wittingly heave and hurl their humble torsos into permanent hiatus due to the inadequacies of the current railing system. Though the many aged Patriarchs know full well that a railing system is not enough to keep the POWAR people safe from going over the edge, and to keep Persona Non Gratas from over the edge from visiting Gnew York. With their hopes dashed by their failure to acquire the valuable technology of woven grass from nearby Gnomes, other routes must be explored.

The ancient beesmen while ruminating their fractured memories of the days before the Great Plague recalled how some, on their long trips to and from the fabled city of Toppleopolis, would store personal servings of the Sweet Paste on the underside of their mounts, often boasting wildly about the incredible freshness of their meals upon arrival at Toppleopolis. After a few brief, and in some cases emetic experiments it has been found that the sacred belly wax of the bees is able to preserve the freshness of Acorn Honey Paste, and other foodstuffs for what appears to be many many weeks.

Danzinimia the eldest of the ancient beesmen, while rousing the spirits of the POWAR troops with tales of beesmen’s bravery on the hunt piqued the interest of a curious young POWAR Sapsmith. Danzinimia told of how once, while returning from an unsuccessful hunt, a fellow beesmen by the name of Er Gallablad stepped in a bead of green sap so sticky that, try as he might, he could not come unstuck. The entire party of beesmen had tried pulling together to get him out, but like Twigscalibur in the ancient legend of “The Twig In The Sap” he could not be moved. The beesmen left him with a twig and some Sweet Paste while they rallied more gnomes from the city to come and help. Though the people of Gnew York ran as fast as they could, by the time they reached the distant limb where Er Gallablad was heldfast all they found was a lone twig and a crudely severed foot preserved in the deadly green sap.

The eavesdropping POWAR spread word of Danzinimia's tale of the green sap, and soon the entire tree was abuzz with chatter about the substance. By popular decree the elders agreed to send a team to the outer limb-its along with the beesmen to search for the mythic sap, and investigate it’s possible harvest.


Orders
5 Gnomes will work to further improve the recovering railing system.

10 Gnomes shall work on creating an effective shellmet from acorn shells.

15 Gnomes shall begin harvesting ants and experimenting with an efficient method of harvesting their “ether”.

20 gnomes will be in charge of capturing and taming bees for the beesmen to train with. Alongside them will be 3 Gnomes in charge of harvesting Sapwax (Propolis).

5 gnomes will be employed to harvest wax from the bellies of the captured bees to be used in the preservation of Sweetpaste, and other foods.

40 gnomes shall be employed to harvest honey and acorns from around the tree to be used as food, preserving the excess harvest in beeswax. Pregnant Gnomes shall only take part in acorn gathering of the safest manner.

2 Gleeful Sex Gnomes shall distribute magic mead unto the bravest and most successful of the Gnomes while at the same time encouraging a mood of general happiness and safe, consensual, sexual reproduction.

1 Gnome shall set about lightly dipping the tips of the Twigsmen, and Twigsaps twigs in sap and setting them to dry so as to increase the weight and the hardness of the twigs which the POWARS wield. The weapons shall be called Twidgels.

7 of the beefiest gnomes who are most blessed with testicular fortitude shall train to become fierce twig wielding gnomes of the second highest order (though with the expectation of ascending to the highest order within the next turn).

All 11 (technically 18) Military Units shall undergo a rigorous routine consisting of stretching, running, pebble lifting, wrestling, simulated twig and sap combat, combat scenario training, and a few team building exercises to help focus on their power as a cooperative unit.

The most capable in terms of overall physical ability and leadership skills will be chosen as captains of their respective ranks. Each captain will be in charge of delegation of orders in military situations, and leading of each rank in their daily training routines. Chains of command will also be set up so that in the event where the Captain is incapacitated the team will still be able to function.

When time permits the population shall be briefed by the captains on what procedures to follow in various emergency situations such as an invasion, as well as in the basic operation of military equipment (twigs and sap vats mostly) should the people need to take up arms against an enemy.

[bipolarbear]

So Is anyone else posting orders?

[appleciders]

Foolish is the only one missing. I'll update when his are in, or when I give up waiting, which I won't set a limit on yet because I'm quite busy for the next couple days.

[bipolarbear]

Ahem.