mrmitchell's NES: Tough Times

[mrmitchell]

Paris News
German spies have infiltrated the border and are spreading the rumor that they do not eat babies! If you see anyone licking their fingers and saying "No, we do not eat tasty delicious babies," report them to the King.

(discontent rises by 7. 65 is a dangerously high amount. and due to the propoganda, education drops by 5 to 65)

[Nubclear]

To FRANCE:
Discontinue your bickering or you will not recieve Chinese goods.

[foolish_icarus]

Immigrant from the crowded and poverty-stricken slums of Asia are coming into Russia, seeking a new life of prosperity, freedom, and happiness! Of course, what they actually get are crowded and poverty-stricken slums, only significantly colder, but they'll adjust. In the meantime, they are workign hard, making a living by working Russia's vast tracts of land for its agricultural and mineral resources. This is helping to sustain Russia's fragile economy and keep its vast expanses nationally united.
Or it would, anyway, were not most of Russia under the control of local organized crime syndicates who terrorize and oppress the populace. This is clearly not acceptable, as the Kremlin is the only truly legitimate authority for opressing and terrorizing the peoples of Russia.

To alleviate this problem, Moscow has announced its newest bold and origional solution: The Red Army.
Efforts are under way to buy out those mobsters willing to retire peacefully, and use force to crush those who won't, in an attempt to again bring the country firmly under central control (The people will give their consent and support of course, as is only fitting in a democratic country such as our own) by putting in place electing loyal, effective, and not too heavy handed bureaucrats and officials.


Russian Panel Suggest Compromise over Baby Eating issue

"It is a little disgusting how many babies Germans, on average, will consume." Said the project leader, Brandonovitch Ducharmsky. "I mean, Germany has one of the best fed populations on the planet, and now we hear that they've tripled their consumption? Everything in moderation, please."
The report suggest that a reasonable per capita baby consumption for a country such as Germany is "...between 2.5 and 3.2 per week" or "between 2.9 and 3.6 per week for French babies, because they are usually a little on the scrawny side and provide less sustenance."


Russia to Germany:

Hello. We adopted a new strategy for Chechenya: When they revolt, we don't actually fight them, we just surround them and play bad American music until they go insane or starve, whichever happens first. Then they are plenty willing to sign a peace treaty and settle down. Its worked well so far.


Russia to France:

We thank you for your offer, but we prefer our hearty Russian babies to your rather wimpy French babies. Or were you talking about a different commodity?



EDIT: and here are some maps

http://forums.civfanatics.com/showth...threadid=26648

[foolish_icarus]

No one is watching Russian troops sneak into Kazakhstan and take it over!
No one even knew what was happening until the "Welcome to Russia!" banners went up.
Analysts worry what nation will be the next to succumb to the 'Stealth Takeover'. But they don't worry too much, because being in the Russian empire is so nice.

[Micha]

Federal Republic of Germany

NEWS

Last friday Kanzler Stoiber had settled the "headscarf" affair that was causing tumoils since more than four years. He convinced the federal court to rule a total prohibition of non-Christian religious symbols.

Simultaneously he expressed his wish to create a German constitution, which undermines the state´s autonomy.

During a public protest against the discrimination non-Christians are now facing, Stoiber ordered the military to "calm the protestors". Seven university students were killed when the first shots fell.

That incident has created fears of a second "June 17th", causing a parliament debate about a possible Chancellor-reelection.

As things went on very quickly, it´s not clear yet what had happened on last monday, but now the Bundestag (upper house of parliament) is abolished and the Bundesrat (lower house of parliament) is under control of Stoiber´s party, the CSU.

Are we facing a second fascist putch?

[mrmitchell]

Discontinue your bickering or you will not recieve Chinese goods.

Paris News

Baby-Eating Reports Vanish
Any indication that Germans had ever feasted upon little babies' brains suddenly vanished from France. There is now no proof that Germans ever chowed down on infants, and journalists that have reported so have all been fired and forced out of France.

[mrmitchell]

events!

by the French:
France has absorbed Andorra. Spain is not pleased, but screw them.

Discontent remains the same, but the military improves by 1 point in each area. Progress is slow.

Education goes back up by 3 points, after the government canned its most extreme propoganda push (the baby issue.) Now, it's only the private media that report how German mouths are filled with the sweet juicy flesh of children.

---

of the world:

Belgium, Netherlands, and Luxembourg have formed a strong defense and trade alliance together.

The USA sees fiercer resistance in Iraq than has been noted in recent history of any occupation.

Various African republics collapsed. They are warring with each other but do not pose any more than a miniscule threat to their more stable neighbors.

Oil wells in the Alaskan National Wildlife Refuge momentarily dried up before starting to flow again. Experts do not predict that that source will last long, and environmentalists are calling it a warning sign.

[Urban Ranger]

So what exactly is going on in one of these NES's thingies? There seems to be no introduction or anything like it here.

[Micha]

Originally posted by Urban Ranger
So what exactly is going on in one of these NES's thingies? There seems to be no introduction or anything like it here.

What do you mean? Do you want an introduction to "how to play a NES"? Or do you just want to know what this particular one is all about? (-> first post)

This one seems rather inactive ATM, from my side that´s because of exam time, which will lighten up this weekend.

[foolish_icarus]

Take a Country and have fun. Only permanent rule seems to be that one cannot make outrageous claims if it interferes with others' plans and general enjoyment.


Russian News

2009.

Russian Authorities are happy to announce that "organized crime in Russia is no longer a problem."
In other news gulag productivity is up 65 % from last year.


The global Economic crisis has caused an increase in prices for most resouces and commodities, finally making it economically feasible for development of many of Russia's long-untapped resources. Workers are flooding into Siberia and other insanely cold, hostile parts of Russia to take advantage of the job opportunities offered. Money gained from these endeavors is being used to finance construction and maintenance projects to further support recovery efforts.
Grants and loans are being made available to such undertakings, including one notable project that will set up entire research and development centers where testing will be done on new agricultural techniques, mining and construction equipment, electronics and programming, and whatever else they can manage to sell to someone.


Economy: 55
Army: 40
Navy: 45
Air: 35
Discontent: 35
Infrastructure: 55
Education: 65

[Nubclear]

China would like to inform Russia that it now claims Siberia.

[foolish_icarus]

Russia would like to inform China that they are free to "claim" anything they want to.

Russian military has been placed on an alerted status.

[Nubclear]

China is displeased with the rude response, however will back down from it's claim.
China begins to increase education and modernize the army and air force.

[Urban Ranger]

Originally posted by Micha
What do you mean? Do you want an introduction to "how to play a NES"?

Yup, this one. Much appreciated.

[Micha]

This is very easy. Take a country of your choice (statistics/facts you can invent, but keep it realistic and make it fit into the general storyline and the other player´s stats.

Then you can basically do what you like to do:
Talk to other nations (negotiating alliances, trade pacts, whatever you can think of), either publically or in secret (if something is written in "secret" tags, all other players must ignore what is written there). This is very important and sometimes difficult, but otherwise all orders would be given via PM which would kill the NES

Or you can order your military to move/attack/disband/enlarge/..., you can write a newspaper for your country to announce special events (also catastrophies, or new precious minerals found... whatever).

Just try to keep it somehow realistic and don´t overpower yourself...

Have fun!