Funny moments in the Monkey Island series

[DrSpike]

Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?

Ah, the net is a wonderful place:

Part 1 Regular Insults, use these insults on the normal pirates.

This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur!
And I´ve got a little TIP for you, get the POINT?

Soon you´ll be wearing my sword like a shish kebab!
First you better stop waiving it like a feather-duster.

My handkerchief will wipe up your blood!
So you got that job as janitor, after all.

People fall at my feet when they see me coming.
Even BEFORE they smell your breath?

I once owned a dog that was smarter then you.
He must have taught you everything you know.

You make me want to puke.
You make me think somebody already did.

Nobody´s ever drawn blood from me and no body ever will.
You run THAT fast?

You fight like a dairy farmer.
How appropriate. You fight like a cow.

I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle!
I hope now you´ve learned to stop picking your nose.

Have you stopped wearing diapers yet?
Why, did you want to borrow one?

I´ve heard you were a contemptible sneak.
Too bad no one´s ever heard of YOU at all.

You´re no match for my brains, you poor fool.
I´d be in real trouble if you ever used them.

You have the manners of a begger.
I wanted to make sure you´d feel comfortable with me.

I´m not going to take your insolence sitting down!
Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?

There are no words for how disgusting you are.
Yes there are. You just never learned them.

I´ve spoken with apes more polite then you.
I´m glad to hear you attended your family reunion.


Part 3 Swordmaster Insults, you need to reply to the Swordmasters insults.

I´ve got a long, sharp lesson for you you to learn today.
And I´ve got a little TIP for you. Get the POINT?

My tonge is sharper then any sword.
First you better stop waving it like a feather-duster.

My name is feared in every dirty corner of this island!
So you got that job as a janitor, after all.

My wisest enemies run away at the first sight of me!
Even BEFORE they smell your breath?

Only once have I met such a coward!
He must have taught you everything you know.

If your brother´s like you, better to marry a pig.
You make me think somebody already has.

No one will ever catch ME fighting as badly as you do.
You run THAT fast?

I will milk every drop of blood from your body!
How appropriate. You fight like a cow.

My last fight ended with my hands coverd with blood.
I hope now you´ve learned to stop picking your nose.

I hope you have a boat ready for a quick escape.
Why, did you want to borrow one?

My sword is famous all over the Caribbean!
Too bad no one´s ever heard of YOU at all.

I´ve got the courage and skill of a master swordsman!
I´d be in real trouble if you ever used them.

Every word you say to me is stupid.
I wanted to make sure you´d feel comfortable with me.

You are a pain in the backside, sir!
Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?

There are no clever moves that can help you now.
Yes there are. You just never learned them.

Now I know what filth and stupidity really are.
I´m glad to hear you attended your family reunion.

I usually see people like you passed-out on tavern floors.
Even BEFORE they smell your breath?

[Main_Brain]

I remember you could be shot in fate of Atlantis...

[Dauphin]

Rhyming insults are far more catchy.

[DarkCloud]

Insult fighting was what made the game
-
And the Treasure map to the dirty clothes or whatever it was was excessively funny as well

[chronocrator]

Originally posted by Main_Brain
I remember you could be shot in fate of Atlantis...

I haven't played it, all Lucas Arts Adventures I played featured immortal players.

I have heard that Escape from monkey Island features some sort of monkey combat, is it good? How does it compare to the insult swordfighting? I think I have to get this game though I really prefer point and click.

BTW has anyone every seen screenshots from an actiongame called XIII? It uses a technique called cellshading which makes 3d art look like a drawn cartoon. IMO Lucas Arts should cosider such this for MI5.

[Father Beast]

Guybrush, I am your brother!!!!

Talk about in jokes, it seemed to me that the whole series was full of Star Wars references. but the only ones I can think of offhand are the end part in Lechuck's revenge where Lechuck says "search your feelings, you know it to be true."
And the part in Curse where the voodoo lady says "No Guybrush, there is another".

oh, and the lemonade kid is selling stormtrooper rifles, I think.

[DrSpike]

Don't get the whole brother thing started...............this thread will turn into a "what is the secret" discussion.

It's not in his head, ok?

[Father Beast]

Edited by Ming...

Apolyton does not condone or support the theft of software. Discussing or providing support for somebody to do so is not allowed on this site. If you do so again, you will be restricted!

[Eroberer]

Nope, I no longer have the CD from PC Gamer. It would have had to be about two years ago, though.

[Skanky Burns]

The skeleton dance in MI2 is very funny.

[mactbone]

Monkey Kombat really isn't very fun. You have to write down all these combinations and they're different every time you start a new game - so you can't even look it up real quick. I really liked the voice acting in EFMI though - it made the game that much better.

[Sharpe]

I seem to have lost my copy of Lechuck's revenge when losing my hard drive a couple years back. I had gotten it off an abandonware site, so I searched, but an intensive search only seems to turn up that the only copy available for download is in french! Somebody posted that they got it free from Pc Gamer, can they tell what issue?, mayb I can back order that issue.

Nope, I no longer have the CD from PC Gamer. It would have had to be about two years ago, though.

Not sure if there was another CD, but the July 2000 CD ROM from PC Gamer contains the Classic Games Collection - includes:

-Original Need for Speed
-Ultima Underworld
-Ultima 1
-Original Links
-XCOM:UFO Defense
-Wing Commander 1
-Alone in the Dark
-Terminal Velocity
-Duke Nukem 2
-King's Quest 1
-Descent

and The Secret of Monkey Island- not LeChuck's Revenge

Was there another CD with LeChuck's Revenge on it ?

[Eroberer]

Oh, I dunno. That seems like the one that I got. I don't know which one it was, or even if it was the first or second one, just that it's the only one that I've ever played.

[DrSpike]

Edited by Ming...

Apolyton does not condone or support the theft of software. Discussing or providing support for somebody to do so is not allowed on this site. If you do so again, you will be restricted!

[Buck Birdseed]

Stump Joke!!!

I always liked the "Rubber Tree" joke in MI1, the "No Animals Were Harmed..." thing likewise in MI1, The Library Index Cards in MI2, and the answer "Stupidity" likewise in MI2. In fact, I loved all of the Men of Low Moral Fibre encounters.