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  • Brits suffer humiliating defeat in Iraq

    Couldn't see this anywhere else here, so....

    The latest news and headlines from Yahoo News. Get breaking news stories and in-depth coverage with videos and photos.


    British marines under the kosh from local Iraqi soccer team
    Thu Apr 3, 3:25 PM ET

    SOUTHERN IRAQ (AFP) - (Pool material) Eleven British Royal Marines have come under the kosh on the dusty streets of Umm Khayyal, being handed a 7-3 thrashing by the local football team, resplendent in full strip, boots and squad numbers.

    A thousand spectators came from all ends of the town, throngs of screaming men and children marking out the boundaries of the pitch.

    In the face of such passion, Leading Airman Dave Husbands said the marines were beaten from the start.

    "We turned up to play and there was no-one around, just a few kids messing about," he said.

    "Then suddenly, out of nowhere, came this kitted-up football team together with a referee and two linesmen.

    "The boys thought they must be the Iraqi international side or something. In truth, they thrashed us."

    In a dusty old market square, 11 of 42 Commando's K Company finest struggled in stifling conditions under blue skies.

    There were no jumpers for goalposts here -- even the referee had a whistle and cards in his pocket, two linesmen proudly carried flags.

    Hundreds of children chanted, some sporting the red shirts of Manchester United or Arsenal, carrying playing card pictures of David Beckham and David Seaman.

    The Umm Khayyal XI made merry, skipping around the robust tackles and passing the ball around with glee.

    Water and oranges at half time could not save the marines, their hair coloured grey with layers of dust, their faces and arms black with dirt.

    Football is their passion and, needless to say, "Mister Beckham", Manchester United's star midfielder, is their man.

    "Beckham is best, Beckham is best!" shouted Mohammad, a 21-year-old spectator.

    "You need him," replied his friend, pointing to the pitch. "You lose bad."

    Meanwhile, the commander of the unit, Lieutenant Colonel Buster Howes, attempted to be magnanimous in defeat.

    "We want a rematch," he said with a smile.
    Sorry if I scared any British members here with the title. ^^;
    Veni Vidi Castravi Illegitimos

  • #2
    We should have shot the crowd for being Man Utd fans
    Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.
    Douglas Adams (Influential author)

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    • #3


      Seriously though - good for the Brits.
      Soccer can do wonders for Anglo-Iraqi relations.

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      • #4
        If they insist on calling it soccer it will really hurt Anglo-Iraqi relations
        Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.
        Douglas Adams (Influential author)

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        • #5
          Soccer can do wonders for Anglo-Iraqi relations.


          What the hell are we Yanks going to do?
          KH FOR OWNER!
          ASHER FOR CEO!!
          GUYNEMER FOR OT MOD!!!

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          • #6
            Lose in your turn to the locals. It would do wonders for your image.
            (\__/)
            (='.'=)
            (")_(") This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your signature to help him gain world domination.

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            • #7
              Good on the Brits. That's the way to win over the locals.

              I read an article in the IHT that talked about how Brit soldiers were better at winning over the locals because of their expereince in N. Ireland and Kosovo. This football match seems to be a case in point.
              Golfing since 67

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              • #8
                We even played football with Germany in the WW1 trenches!

                We Europeans are football daft, and I am glad the Iraqis are too!
                If we can win the ordinary people over to the Allies, we are doing OK.

                (Lucky the English football louts were not around though!)
                http://sleague.apolyton.net/index.php?title=Home
                http://totalfear.blogspot.com/

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                • #9
                  If i recall my history correctly, England lost that soccer game with Germany in WW1 too...

                  Man, you guys suck at mid-war sporting events...
                  Shouldn't you be dead or something?

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                  • #10
                    If we won the Iraqis would have hated us. I'm glad we lost.

                    Can you imagine what the reaction would have been if it was Yanks playing (say American Football) and they annihilated the Iraqis 60-0 and kept grunting "USA! USA!"? It would have done wonders for American-Iraqi relations.
                    One day Canada will rule the world, and then we'll all be sorry.

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                    • #11
                      @Jarvin;

                      Jealous that the Iraqis are warming to the greatest sport in the world, eh?

                      I recall the Germans beat you guys at the World Cup too.

                      No hard feelings, son.
                      http://sleague.apolyton.net/index.php?title=Home
                      http://totalfear.blogspot.com/

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                      • #12
                        Oh you'll see, we'll get those Iraqis playing our football, we'll force them, then we'll introduce them to violent TV, gigantic cars and put a McDonalds on every street corner. Oh yeah!
                        Shouldn't you be dead or something?

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                        • #13
                          It is quite strange that the 1 aspect of US life that hasn't been succsessfuly exported is your sports.

                          basketball has some interest but the game you call football is not played much and only the Cubans Canadians and Japanese play baseball to any graet extent.
                          Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.
                          Douglas Adams (Influential author)

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                          • #14
                            If the Iraqis beat the Tommies 7-3, just imagine what they would do to the Yanks...
                            So get your Naomi Klein books and move it or I'll seriously bash your faces in! - Supercitizen to stupid students
                            Be kind to the nerdiest guy in school. He will be your boss when you've grown up!

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                            • #15
                              You forgot Venezuela. But even they now like (real) Football more.

                              Does anybody remember that film about POWs in WWII who get the chance to play against a German team in France? Pele was acting in it. Though the referee was obviously bribed and the Germans played hard to say the least, the prisoners won and the French spectator crowd (stadium filled unto the last place) got all up chanting the Marseillaise. Aweful, I tell you, simply aweful.
                              "The world is too small in Vorarlberg". Austrian ex-vice-chancellor Hubert Gorbach in a letter to Alistar [sic] Darling, looking for a job...
                              "Let me break this down for you, fresh from algebra II. A 95% chance to win 5 times means a (95*5) chance to win = 475% chance to win." Wiglaf, Court jester or hayseed, you judge.

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