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I'm shocked and appalled that I'm able to imagine a depravity Internet hasn't covered

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  • I'm shocked and appalled that I'm able to imagine a depravity Internet hasn't covered

    There's something subtly wrong in all fan fiction. You take established characters of some other author and make them dance like puppets. That's not right. That can't be right. Of course, that's also compounded by the fact that so much of fan fiction is pure crap. So much of everything is pure crap, but there are so many ways to screw up a fanfic. I don't believe I've ever read a fanfic story I've fully liked - then again, for the subtle wrongness reasons, I tend to avoid all fanfic. Even published fanfic like those Star Wars: Extended Universe stories. (Timothy Zahn being an exception.)

    When we get to erotic fan fiction, the wrongness increases tenfold. The reasons are obvious - it can't do much to increase your fannish, non-sexual pleasures to see the lead characters in a series you love bugger each other like horny mongooses, unless you're way too involved. And then we have wonders like the ever-permanent excuse of writing erotica about child characters, "this happens the day after they turn 18"), like with that Harry Potter Erotic Fanfiction site that scarred me for life.

    It seems like every series and band and whatever that existed has a fan fiction community and - logically - an erotic fan fiction community, a slash (male/male pairings, you know?) community and slash community with fursuits. All these hold within the possibility of making you a worse, more maladjusted person. But then I got an idea.

    A parody, you see. What about if we took all these fan fiction writers and made them write about... US Senate? Think about it! There are certainly a lot of characters - 100 of them! There's constantly something happening, too. Most senators are male, so there's a definite potential for male/male pairing, that erotic fanfic mainstay, there. I admit this wasn't a completely original idea - I happened to stumble upon (shudder) a story which paired Al Gore with Joe Lieberman. But nothing more! There's not even Bill Clinton erotic fanfiction! No incestuous pairings of George W. Bush and Jeb Bush! Much less is there a community for people who love to write about Sen. John Edwards taking it up the poop chute from Sen. Ted Kennedy.

    So I'm now a firm believer that there should be one! It's such a perfect topic to write a general parody website about the whole fan fiction community - you would believe that someone's perverted around to write endless stream of hackneyed stories about Hillary Clinton in a dominatrix uniform if someone told you something like this existed. Meanwhile, it's ever so slightly off that someone would actually write something like this. The possibilities are endless!

    Of course, there would also be non-erotic fanfiction. There would be crossovers, ("in this fanfic I just wrote Sen. Dianne Feinstein joins the Sailor Scouts"), alternate histories, and of course fan fictions where a character gets raped and grows as a character because of it. And we'd have fan art, with all the typical categories - erotic fan art (ie. Sen. John Edwards taking it up the poop chute from Sen. Ted Kennedy, except as a drawing), fan art in anime style, and fan art that's just plain crap. And we'd have essays about how everyone else writes cliched, crap Senate fanfic and whether Trent (Lott) or Tom (Daschle) would make a better boyfriend for Daria, I mean majority leader for Senate.

    I get these brilliant ideas all the time, and I'm too lazy to do anything about them. It's a shame. Well, I'm not just sitting around uselessly about this one - I'm sitting around and typing it to Apolyton!

    SENATE EROTIC FAN FICTION FOREVER!
    "Spirit merges with matter to sanctify the universe. Matter transcends to return to spirit. The interchangeability of matter and spirit means the starlit magic of the outermost life of our universe becomes the soul-light magic of the innermost life of our self." - Dennis Kucinich, candidate for the U. S. presidency
    "That’s the future of the Democratic Party: providing Republicans with a number of cute (but not that bright) comfort women." - Adam Yoshida, Canada's gift to the world

  • #2
    Where would this place be without Stefu? Good show; I laughed my ass off.
    KH FOR OWNER!
    ASHER FOR CEO!!
    GUYNEMER FOR OT MOD!!!

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    • #3
      Sounds like you've been visiting fagfiction.net too often. I try to limit myself to at most once a week, otherwise I'm always tempted to gouge out my own eyes in order to spare me the temptation to subject myself to further pain.
      <p style="font-size:1024px">HTML is disabled in signatures </p>

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      • #4
        I'm not clicking that link to see if it's real, you know.
        "Spirit merges with matter to sanctify the universe. Matter transcends to return to spirit. The interchangeability of matter and spirit means the starlit magic of the outermost life of our universe becomes the soul-light magic of the innermost life of our self." - Dennis Kucinich, candidate for the U. S. presidency
        "That’s the future of the Democratic Party: providing Republicans with a number of cute (but not that bright) comfort women." - Adam Yoshida, Canada's gift to the world

        Comment


        • #5
          Wimp.

          OMG teh pain!!
          its ere agan!!
          liek a drane!! (ON MY SOUL)
          or mebbe raine!!!

          the twinkelly stars weep
          littel childrun sleep!!
          my teers creep
          acros my... UMM...
          <p style="font-size:1024px">HTML is disabled in signatures </p>

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          • #6
            I'm not for testing my pain limit on soul-scarring agony. That's why I didn't click on that "Powerpuff Girls Smut" link on Portal of Evil when I had the chance, either.
            "Spirit merges with matter to sanctify the universe. Matter transcends to return to spirit. The interchangeability of matter and spirit means the starlit magic of the outermost life of our universe becomes the soul-light magic of the innermost life of our self." - Dennis Kucinich, candidate for the U. S. presidency
            "That’s the future of the Democratic Party: providing Republicans with a number of cute (but not that bright) comfort women." - Adam Yoshida, Canada's gift to the world

            Comment


            • #7
              How about US Congress? They seem a good writing material.

              A spam I got, sorry if it was already posted:


              Can you imagine working for a company that has a
              little more than 500 employees and has the
              following statistics:

              29 have been accused of spousal abuse

              7 have been arrested for fraud

              19 have been accused of writing bad checks

              117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at
              least 2 businesses

              3 have done time for assault

              71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

              14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

              8 have been arrested for shoplifting

              21 are currently defendants in lawsuits

              84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the
              last year

              Can you guess which organization this is?

              Give up yet?







              It's the 535 members of the United States
              Congress.

              The same group that cranks out hundreds of new
              laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in
              line.

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              • #8
                Senate's part of the Congress, isn't it?
                "Spirit merges with matter to sanctify the universe. Matter transcends to return to spirit. The interchangeability of matter and spirit means the starlit magic of the outermost life of our universe becomes the soul-light magic of the innermost life of our self." - Dennis Kucinich, candidate for the U. S. presidency
                "That’s the future of the Democratic Party: providing Republicans with a number of cute (but not that bright) comfort women." - Adam Yoshida, Canada's gift to the world

                Comment


                • #9
                  no, AFAIK, they are two different chambers of the US legislative.
                  urgh.NSFW

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                  • #10
                    The "US Congress" is composed of both the House of Representatives and the Senate.

                    Many people (including myself) use "Congress" to mistakenly only denote the House of Reps.

                    Just like in Canada, Parliament is composed of both the Senate (in the UK, the House of Lords) and the House of Commons, but "Parliament" is often used to denote only the Commons.
                    12-17-10 Mohamed Bouazizi NEVER FORGET
                    Stadtluft Macht Frei
                    Killing it is the new killing it
                    Ultima Ratio Regum

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                    • #11
                      thanks, Frogger. didn't know that. ( obviously, since I just wrote something that contradicts what you've said, and I have little to no real knowledge on the subject. but that statement would include "didn't know facts", which is the same as "didn't know that", and this would mean that I am using something to prove itself, a circular argument of sorts, and therefor, it couldn't be used. but if I know that I don't know anything about it already, Why should I try to prove it, if it is already given to me as a fact? So I guess that I can say that I don't know anything on the subgect. but that would be incorrect as well. I do know SOMETHING on the subject, I just posted a post a few minutes ago on the subject. The fact that I know something doesn't mean that I know the truth, but it does mean that I don't know nothing. Therefore I remain undecided on the issue, but I wish to thank frogger for his contribution on the topic. )
                      urgh.NSFW

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                      • #12


                        uh... what did you say Azazel? 'cause that was, like, deep..man.
                        Monkey!!!

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                        • #13
                          Nothing to see here. Proceed, civilian.
                          urgh.NSFW

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                          • #14
                            I must apologize to loinburger. I had assumed that fagfiction.net was going to be a serious fanfic site with plenty of male-male action instead of a site which mocks bad fanfics.

                            I assure the man with a great avatar the words "I limit myself to once in a week" never affected my assumptions about his sexual preferences.
                            "Spirit merges with matter to sanctify the universe. Matter transcends to return to spirit. The interchangeability of matter and spirit means the starlit magic of the outermost life of our universe becomes the soul-light magic of the innermost life of our self." - Dennis Kucinich, candidate for the U. S. presidency
                            "That’s the future of the Democratic Party: providing Republicans with a number of cute (but not that bright) comfort women." - Adam Yoshida, Canada's gift to the world

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              <p style="font-size:1024px">HTML is disabled in signatures </p>

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