Help a husband to understand PMS

[Tiamat]

I happen to be one of those women who get PMS really bad. I have only been married 3 months and until we got married he was a confirmed batchelor. Since we got married he has now been indoctrinated into the wonderful world of asking.........."honey why is there suddenly so much chocolate in the frige?" OOOopsss well......that would be me

This would be the second day. After the exorcist woman made an apperance ohhhhhhhh about 12 times yesterday, and the tears and the mood swings......yes after everything calmed down and we were cooking a late night snack, he calmly asked me if this was going to be an every month thing because he just didn't understand why I had to act that way and couldn't I just control it?

NEWSFLASH SPARKY!! NO! I can't. I've tried to explain to him that for the first day or two our hormones go crazy hence........we do. I also tried to explain to him that I am not the only woman in the world who goes through this, but he didn't believe me.

We go to bed and are talking and if course he says something totally non confrontational or emotional like isn't the sky a lovely shade of blue which of course sends me into tears. Again, he can't understand and is completly sure that I am the only woman in the whole entire world that this happens to. I assured him he wasn't walking down main street naked on this one, and told him if he asked any of the guys he worked with who were married, g/f, s/o etc......that I am sure they could tell him just as many horror stories as he wanted.

Help a girl out here and tell me your PMS stories so that when he gets off work tonight I can show him this thread and he will know he isn't alone in the world of a woman with PMS.

[SlowwHand]

I could explain the meaning of life more easily.

Just back away slowly and quietly. Hands in plain sight.

[Sikander]

You can't explain it, it has to be experienced. My girlfriend has really bad PMS too. She used to get nearly psychotic, and lay in bed crying for a day or two, and this happened every other month. In the intervening months she would be so incredibly tender that it was a serious risk talking to her at all. Often she would completely misinterpret something I said in the worst possible way, and then hit me with everything (emotionally) that she had. I got to where I just avoided her when she was like this, to the extent that is possible when you live together. Finally I convinced her to try an anti-depressent (for a lot of reasons), and bingo, the day long crying jags ended completely, while the other behavior was much toned down. I'm sure that this is not a panacea, but it made life with her a lot better. Now the PMS effects still occur, but I have no fear and carry on (almost) like usual.

[Ted Striker]

1) Increase your soy and oatmeal intake
2) Find some Lady's Mantle at the herb store unless you're pregnant
3) Take some OTC stuff for the cramps
4) DO NOT GO TO BED ANGRY

For him:

1) Stay the **** out of dodge until the madness passes

[SlowwHand]

Madness. Apt terminology.

[Tiamat]

Originally posted by Sikander
You can't explain it, it has to be experienced. My girlfriend has really bad PMS too. She used to get nearly psychotic, and lay in bed crying for a day or two, and this happened every other month. In the intervening months she would be so incredibly tender that it was a serious risk talking to her at all. Often she would completely misinterpret something I said in the worst possible way, and then hit me with everything (emotionally) that she had. I got to where I just avoided her when she was like this, to the extent that is possible when you live together. Finally I convinced her to try an anti-depressent (for a lot of reasons), and bingo, the day long crying jags ended completely, while the other behavior was much toned down. I'm sure that this is not a panacea, but it made life with her a lot better. Now the PMS effects still occur, but I have no fear and carry on (almost) like usual.

Ding Ding Ding! See I do both. He gets the double whammy I do the crying and the tender raw emotions. He is trying to be helpful but his way of helping is. Honey do you want to talk about it. Or what's bothering you I can tell something is on your mind let's talk. And when I tell him nothing is bothering me and I don't want to talk he doesn't get that one either.

So today I tired to explain that yes, I do want to talk just not right now becuase I'm to raw and my emotions are right under my skin.......he didn't get it.

Then I went the store and came home with not one but two packages of Oreo cookies...(they were on sale) and a pint of Ben & Jerry's Pfish Food ice cream.

[SlowwHand]

Fish ice cream?

[Felch]

Jesus, don't even try explaining. It's just one of those times when you have to nod a lot and say, "Anything I can do, just ask. Please don't hold back on any requests."

It hurts less to immediately surrender to her, than to try and figure things out. I bet French men have no problem dealing with PMSing women.

Oh yeah, a guy should never ask if it's PMS. That's the worst possible thing.

[Ted Striker]

Tell your boy he is a good guy for wanting to help but he needs to literally just spend most of his time in another room for a couple of days and if that isn't an option go out for a couple of hours.

[Tiamat]

Stricltly the name of the product. Chocolate ice cream with caramel and marshmallow with chocolate fudge shaped fish swimming in chocolate fudge.

Poor guy...........he just really doesn't stand a chance.

[Ted Striker]

Ya but you need to do your homework too sister.

Saying you can't help it is bogus.

[SlowwHand]

My advice to him is to bug you all the more.
You'll get mad, but at least he chooses what ge gets in trouble for.
Like making fish ice cream remarks.

[faded glory]

My X was a ***** at that time of the month....err. It was easy going right after tho.

[Tiamat]

Originally posted by Ted Striker
Tell your boy he is a good guy for wanting to help but he needs to literally just spend most of his time in another room for a couple of days and if that isn't an option go out for a couple of hours.

He is a good guy and he has options. We have a huge house and he has a computer room and several games he loves to play online but I think what gets him the most is that he can politly ask a question only to be met with the exorcist woman. He got really upset last night and thought it was directed at him.

I just want him to understand he isnt' the only one going through this.

[Asher]

And people wonder why I don't want to get into a relationship.

I'm not a masochist, that's why.