Is accepting facts giving up?

[Pekka]

I've been doing some thinking about myself. I've been trying very hard .. but maybe I should just accept some facts here. I will never get the money to be able to study in the US. I've been lying to myself that it's possible and will happen if I just try hard enough. Everything would be possible. What if 'prepare yourself for the worst, and the best thing will always happen' is just a saying?
I always saw myself there, no matter what happens, I would make it. Maybe it's time to accept the fact, that it will never happen. That pisses me off. Makes me unhappy.

Maybe I should accept the fact, that I will never serve in the US army. I'd be too old to join after all the work needed. Won't be happening. Life is not fair even if you wanted it to be, maybe I should just accept it.
I always thought when you get knocked down, you should just pick up the pieces left and keep going to new direction, try harder, learn from mistakes.. But there won't be endless opportunities, if you know what you want and you know the way to get it, and know it's near impossible.. maybe I should just accept it. But it makes me very unhappy.

Also I should accept the fact, that I may not ever find my soulmate, never. Might happen, but it's possible I'll be without soulmate for the rest of my life. Maybe I will never find any person who is there for me, knows what I need or feel. It's possible. I should accept the fact, that the fact that no one has ever asked me 'how do you feel' is not changing. I'd like to think otherwise, because it would make me very unhappy, but there are no guarantees in life. Maybe I should just stop living in fantasy world where my needs are met and where I'll be able to do the things I want to do. It's unhealthy to keep hanging on to these for too long. Of course accepting it woudl also mean doing things you don't enjoy or be happy or satisfied, but hey, life is not fair always.

Maybe I should just stop caring about it, and go on with my life.. direction unknown, future unknown, but I can't keep going this way, because it's not getting me anywhere, and I have already flushed 3 god damn years down from the toilet already. Believing yourself is cool, but it's also good to believe the facts some day. It hurts, but maybe I should stop caring about it..

so my question to you.. is accepting facts giving up? I can't give up. Never.

[chequita guevara]

People who don't accept facts are the ones who change the world.

[SlowwHand]

In this instance, it's giving up.
If possible to get more facts, an idea, anything, I will.
Don't give up. People get here every day.

[chequita guevara]

People climb on rickety boats and brave sharks to get here. Some make it, some don't. Some spend thousands of dollars to cross the desert with no water. Some pay to live in a storage locker on a tramp freighter for a month.

How badly do you want to come?

[SlowwHand]

Maybe I can work a trade.
You for Chegitz, David Floyd, and a Sava to be named later.

[Pekka]

I'm not giving up, that's unacceptable. I could never live with myself if I gave up.

Che, Sure, I mean people do impossible things all the time. Some even change the world. But when is it the right time to accept the facts that some things you wanted never worked out? For example, should I just keep trying and when I'm 75 years old I could say to myself 'damn.. I think tuition costs are too much for me to handle' ?? There has to be a time when you face the facts, right?

Sloww, I'm still trying to find a new way.. I will still try, but there are times when everything just seems too big to accomplish. It's so stupid too. I know I got what it takes, but then fail on some technical mumbo jumbo..

[Pekka]

che, I'm ready for anything. Literally anything that is legal.

[loinburger]

The facts are: You might not get the money to make it to the US. You might never join the US army. You might never find your soulmate. Note the use of the word "might."

My opinion: BFD. I might die in my sleep tonight, but I'm sure as hell not going to plan on it happening. **** might happen, that's a fact, and you should never forget it. Don't plan your life around ****, though.

[Pekka]

I just hit my head few times. I'm sorry guys, I'm not usually like this, I'm not a crying *****. **** it. I'll start from the beginning. if it takes 3 more years, then so it will be. This was just momentarely relapse.

[Lancer]

Try contacting the US army. There has to be a web site. If they let you join, and I have no idea, then you should inquire about tuition credits for serving.

Your soul mate is waiting for you in the Philippines. We'll be going back in a few years, come with us.

When you get the two income thing going, alot more is possible.

[SlowwHand]

If there's anything we on this side can check for you, seriously, say the word.

[Pekka]

Lancer, I know how it works, I've been talking with recruiters. Not simple, but let's not get into that, I've made few threads aboutr it already and people start killing each other soon if they hear one word about it

But I got more fighting spirit now after I spilled my guts on the internet .

[Pekka]

Sloww, don't worry.. I have studied these things very carefully. But thanks for the offer, I appreciate it.

I'm all confident again. All it takes is a kick to the head.

[SlowwHand]

I'm still going to check into this better.
Whatever I find out, I'll pass on to you.

[Pekka]

You don't have to make the effort, but if you still want to, thank you in advance.
Basically it works like this: you need to be permanent resident and have a green card, or you have to have some agreements with the other country. That's the only way for now. So now the only option is to get into college/uni, and make lots of connection so I could get work right after I'd graduate, to get the green card. After that permanent residency is easy. And after that I could go to army too, if I still wanted to. So it all comes down to going studying, and that all comes down to be able to pay for it. And that's what I've been working for a long time now. I guess I'll just have to keep on doing it.