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  • #1

    It's no good in the living room.

    My wife, her dad and myself just returned from a trip up the coast to a larger town an hour and a half away. We hit some stores, wandered around a bit and headed home. Got into the house and when my wife got out I headed for the bathroom. She flipped on the TV which was set to the history channel. A bunch of GIs were fighting heavy seas while loading into a landing craft. I stopped. The commentator said "blah blah 1943 on the coast of" 'click' The wife had found the channel control on the remote. I started towards the bathroom again. The guy that played Popeye in 'The French Connection' yeah, the famous one, can't recall the name, getting senile...anyway, he was acting up a storm, a great actor...had that gleam in his eye like something was up, things were happening. I stopped. He was saying something, the gist of which was...'click'. I started. A girl in her early 20s was belting out some song of love or heartbreak, whatever. The wife stuck on that as the bathroom door shut. As I sat there doing my business the singing girl was squeezing every bit of drippy emotion out of whatever it was. Gawd. Finally I ducked outa there and into the bedroom where we keep the computer. I shut the door so I can't hear what's on in there. It's no good in the living room.

    Gene Hackman!

    Anyway guys, gotta have a place to go to get away from the fairer sex, absolute must have...
    Long time member @ Apolyton
    Civilization player since the dawn of time
    Tags: None
  • #2
    I prefer the shower. The bed is ok, but it gets kinda boring after a while.
    "Chegitz, still angry about the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991?
    You provide no source. You PROVIDE NOTHING! And yet you want to destroy capitalism.. you criminal..." - Fez

    "I was hoping for a Communist utopia that would last forever." - Imran Siddiqui

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    • #3
      Orange, that reminds me. Heading down some dirt road in Germany in a mortar APC w/ the top open when it starts to rain. Myself and a couple of guys have our heads up and are enjoying the scenery. One of the guys says; "you know, I jerk off in the shower so much that now every time it rains I get a hard-on." Oh we laughed!

      Turns out it was an old joke...but new to us.
      Long time member @ Apolyton
      Civilization player since the dawn of time

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      • #4
        The trick is to date girls with really good taste.
        The very first girl I truly fell head-over-heels in love with, we used to talk about Pink floyd and vinyl in gym class. It was heavenly, when it lasted.
        But sometimes it doesn't...
        "mono has crazy flow and can rhyme words that shouldn't, like Eminem"
        Drake Tungsten
        "get contacts, get a haircut, get better clothes, and lose some weight"
        Albert Speer

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        • #5
          Orange, that reminds me. Heading down some dirt road in Germany in a mortar APC w/ the top open when it starts to rain. Myself and a couple of guys have our heads up and are enjoying the scenery. One of the guys says; "you know, I jerk off in the shower so much that now every time it rains I get a hard-on." Oh we laughed!

          Turns out it was an old joke...but new to us.
          see, now i just jerk off in the rain, and I always seem to get hard ons in the shower
          "Chegitz, still angry about the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991?
          You provide no source. You PROVIDE NOTHING! And yet you want to destroy capitalism.. you criminal..." - Fez

          "I was hoping for a Communist utopia that would last forever." - Imran Siddiqui

          Comment

          • #6
            Orange!! Really!

            Lancer don't feel alone. Steve has turned our spare bedroom into the computer/media room. He goes in there and closes the door and flys planes online. All you can hear is the boom as the bombs drop or he crashes a plane

            The only problem is he got this new game Starfleet Command 3 and I've gotten hooked on it!
            Welcome to earth, my name is Tia and I'll be your tour guide for this trip.
            Succulent and Bejeweled Mother Goddess, who is always moisturised yet never greasy, always patient yet never suffers fools~Starchild
            Dragons? Yup- big flying lizards with an attitude. ~ Laz
            You are forgiven because you are FABULOUS ~ Imran

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            • #7
              monolith, I never tried to find a girl I had much in common with. My tastes change too much. What if you do find the girl that likes the bands you like, but then you start likeing something else and she doesn't...You've changed! You never listened to German 18th century folk music when we started going out! Young people have to relate to some fuzzy thing called 'cool' also. If one of you gets into something that the other doesn't consider cool, well...finis! Plus she'll tell all her friends who are 'cool' exactly why you aren't, and they'll all look at you like you're something slimey stuck to the bottom of their sneaker. Or visa versa...she'll start finding her spirituallity in orange robes dancing like an idiot in airports, you just want to listen to Pink Floyd and smoke pot until 'The Wall' seems to be speaking just to you...

              Anyway, I forgot what I was on about, but am fairly sure you're fukt.

              Tia, Dolores was playing Mario Brothers on a handheld portable for a while, was absolutely hooked, then just put it away and said "enough of dat, it takes my time, I have no more time" Hasn't touched it since. I'm so proud of her. She better not touch my Civ game tho.
              Long time member @ Apolyton
              Civilization player since the dawn of time

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Tiamat
                Orange!! Really!
                Why? Turn you on?
                "Chegitz, still angry about the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991?
                You provide no source. You PROVIDE NOTHING! And yet you want to destroy capitalism.. you criminal..." - Fez

                "I was hoping for a Communist utopia that would last forever." - Imran Siddiqui

                Comment

                • #9
                  Maybe
                  Welcome to earth, my name is Tia and I'll be your tour guide for this trip.
                  Succulent and Bejeweled Mother Goddess, who is always moisturised yet never greasy, always patient yet never suffers fools~Starchild
                  Dragons? Yup- big flying lizards with an attitude. ~ Laz
                  You are forgiven because you are FABULOUS ~ Imran

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    I love sex in any room

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Lancer - there's a difference between going out with girls with good taste and going out with girls who like a couple of similar things...
                      "mono has crazy flow and can rhyme words that shouldn't, like Eminem"
                      Drake Tungsten
                      "get contacts, get a haircut, get better clothes, and lose some weight"
                      Albert Speer

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Imagine, if you dare, a world in which the premium TV entertainment is a purple dinosaur who sings songs about sharing, the weather, how to play nice, etc. You saw Gene Hackman? In the daytime? Wow!

                        Imagine actually listening to the lyrics of your favorite tunes for the first time in years, and then having to turn to NPR or talk radio* because you sure as hell don't want your little girl to repeat "we made love in my Chevy van, and that's all right with me."

                        Imagine a world with true censorship, where entire subjects and over a decade's worth of body language has to go out the window because "little pitchers have big ears" and "John! Not in front of Sophie!" (said when I pinched the missus' butt ). I've actually learned that censorship is not about the removal of words, it's about the removal of subjects.

                        Imagine a world with a toddler. Imagine fearing that your little girls first word could very well be "fu**" because that's what you screamed out when your wife closed the door on your hand. Imagine realizing that all the TV you enjoyed, even the WW2 documentaries, are not really all that appropriate for an 18 month old. Imagine actually looking forward to SpongeBob SquarePants because it can be funny. Imagine realizing that you're going to have to do this for the next 10+ years.

                        Oh, Lancer, you have it sooooooo easy! You're wife was watching a show featuring actual adults singing adult words about adult relationships? Please, in memory of us with infants, toddlers, and young children don't waste those precious moments.

                        *You ever wondered why your dad listened to talk radio or sports all the time? It's the only radio clean enough for the kids.
                        Last edited by JohnT; February 24, 2003, 10:11.

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                        • #13
                          I don't think a toddler knows what **** means, so there is no harm anyway

                          if he sees a WWII documentary, he won't fully understand what's happening, so who gives a damn... it's only when they develop rational thinking that you gotta make sure they don't get a fu*k shouted in their ears every 5 seconds
                          "An archaeologist is the best husband a women can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her." - Agatha Christie
                          "Non mortem timemus, sed cogitationem mortis." - Seneca

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                          • #14
                            i hope my childs first phrase is "**** libertarians"
                            "I hope I get to punch you in the face one day" - MRT144, Imran Siddiqui
                            'I'm fairly certain that a ban on me punching you in the face is not a "right" worth respecting." - loinburger

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                            • #15
                              Yup. The first two answers are obviously by non-parents.

                              Trajanus - Picture this:

                              The baby yelling "****" at the Christmas Table
                              The baby going "****...****... ****... ****..." repeatedly, ad nasueum, because that's the word they are stuck on today.
                              etc.

                              Anybody with any experience with children is aware that it is COMPLETELY irrelevant that they actually know what it means.

                              MRT - Methinks your wife will differ. Me also thinks your wife will win that argument.

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