Obvious signals from women/men that you completely missed.

[JohnT]

or, "Dammit! I could've gotten laid!"

God, anything to get this place from the usual ideology/politics threads. Given the ages of the lot of you, I can't expect this thread to get a lot of stories ( ), but some will pop up I'm sure. At least this will help clue some of you in when a girl wants some action... or maybe not.

I was twenty and diagnosed with a case of terminal geekiness when it came to women. Oh, I didn't wear taped-up glasses or want to debate every little factoid with them, but, even though I wasn't a virgin then, I was rather self-conscious and still found it hard to approach the lovely lasses. I had already (unknownst to me) met my wife, but we were going through a 15-month breakup at the time, so no guilt here.

So, one evening me and my buddies went out. Of course when you're in school, the serious bar-hopping begins around 9:30-10:00pm. I don't drink, so I was always welcome on bar-hops as I could drive. We go to... oh, what's the name... the 40-Watt, a bar in Athens, GA.

Everybody's drunk and dancing to the music... except me, that is (remember: terminally geeky!) I just hung out in the back of the place, looking uncomfortable and bored, with soda in hand. Then she approaches... a comely vixen with kinky brown hair, and a slight alcohol-induced stagger to her step.

"Hello", she said fetchingly. "Are you not having a good time?"
"Well, I'm here as a designated driver, though their dorm is only 5 blocks away. I don't know... the music is real loud and I don't like yelling at people."
"Well, let's go to the back so we can hear ourselves"

So, we go to the back where we engage in the usual college-age getting-to-know-you chatter... What's your major... Where are you from... Are you in a frat/sorority... What did you think of Professor X... During the conversation, she tosses her hair back a few times, touches me on the arm quite often, and makes the typical suggestive, but "innocent", jokes re: sex. You know, the typical stuff that happens when you're measuring each other up for a pants plunder.

Except me. Except this night. TOTALLY clueless - I still remember thinking at that time that the poor girl must be bored and waiting for her friends to finish their drinks, so she found somebody to talk to. STUPID!!! STUPID!!!! STUPID!!!!

Get this: she even invited me back to her place.

DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING!!!!!! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! Or do we....?

No! Mr. Honorable here had to ensure that his drunken louts of friends were competent enough to stagger 5 whole blocks home.

Totally missed it. The signals were as clear as my local FM 50,000 watt "We Play the Power Hits" station, but I totally missed it.

Oh, and when did I finally get it you ask? When one of my friends said, on the way home, "Dude, that girl was hot. Why didn't you pick her up and take her to her place?"

AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!! :bangs head on steering wheel:

So, when did you totally misread the signals? When did you ignore a girl who wanted you bad, or, when did you hit on a girl whom you led yourself to believe that she wanted you bad?

[MikeH]

Wow... nothing as bad as that...

[Boris Godunov]

What are you, a complete moron?

[MikeH]

Once when I was 11 a girl phoned me up and asked me out but I said I couldn't. She said she was Sarah but I had no idea who she was and there were 3 Sarahs in my class. Plus I was 11, wasn't really that interested in girls then. I still don't know who that was.

[JohnT]

I wuz dat nite, Doris.

[DaShi]

This thread made me sad.

[JohnT]

How so, DaShi?

[Felch]

I'm clueless about girls, but not that pathetic.

[DaShi]

Originally posted by JohnT
How so, DaShi?

Because I can't slap you upside the head from over here.

[JohnT]

Felch X: I'm not usually that pathetic either, but that night I was on The Clueless Express, non-stop to Loserville.

[JohnT]

Originally posted by DaShi


Because I can't slap you upside the head from over here.

Don't worry - I've taken care of that for you, already.

[MikeH]

I can't believe you turned down a chick who was asking you about Professor X... although maybe it's a little odd she didn't choose one of the cooler X-Men.

[Starchild]

The barhopping begins at 9pm? Yeesh, we're in the pub by 8 pm on a Friday. Sometimes 4 pm.

How's this for shooting yourself in the foot:

Went out drinking with my cousin two years ago. Met a very nice friend of his and we started talking. Getting along great together, all green lights on the gaydar front.

He has to change out of work clothes before we hit the club. He invites me back to his place. I go. He offers me a drink. I accept it. AND THEN I MAKE THE DUMBEST MISTAKE I COULD POSSIBLY HAVE DONE. I go to the toilet and, out loud (obviously I'm drunk enough not to know how loud I'm speaking nor to consider how thin the walls might be) wonder if I may have gotten the signals all confused. He overhears this, decides not to make a move, and we head off to the club.

I meet him again this year and I DIDN'T have any of the signals mixed up and he was WELL PREPARED to **** me until my spine snapped.

I had shot myself in my metaphorical foot with a figurative shotgun that night.

(Though, happy ending: I got that **** and several others this year. )

[Jon Miller]

I am fairly clueless

Jon Miller

[Starchild]

Wha? S H * G is censored? I sound like a right dirty old bastard cause Sh*g looks exactly like F**k when all stars