Announcement

**Apocalypse** · February 11, 2003, 23:10

My parents told me I was adopted about 3 1/2 years ago. I was so happy.

Then they told me they were joking. A crushing feeling really.

This has a point, I'm not just complaining about my parents again.. You really can't tell how the guy feels. You might as well at least call him or send him a letter to find out.

**orange** · February 11, 2003, 23:13

i'd wanna meet him

**Zero** · February 11, 2003, 23:14

you live like the most shocking life.... First ur girlfriend died or something, then you rediscover your half-brother.

No, but I have a step brother and a sister.

**Jon Miller** · February 11, 2003, 23:14

I have 3 adopted siblings

Jon Miller

**Tuberski** · February 11, 2003, 23:16

I have a half-brother somewhere also, don't worry to much about it, if he wants to meet you and his mother he will, if not, there isn't a lot you can do about it.

ACK!

**Sprayber** · February 12, 2003, 18:44

I have an older half brother, older half sister and a younger half sister. ( my father has been married 5 times) Because all his marriages ended badly none of us i guess ever wanted to contact the others. We all live in the same state and my younger half sister (8 years old) shares the exact same birthdate as me. When I was dating Rebecca I was comming around to start trying to find them but her death putme off of the idea. Now I don't know.

My suggestion is to let your mom and him work things out first before you get too anxious about it. Start slow by letters so that everyone has time to work out all the emotional aspects of it.

**Sarxis** · February 12, 2003, 19:09

No crap Dissident? My long lost half-sister just got in contact with my family this past week, and it has caused quite a stir with my father, sister and I. I wasn't going to mention anything since the boards are so flooded these days, but since there's a thread already...

After my father after my mother were divorced, he got hooked up (literally, he claims my half-sister's mother was a hooker, but her story and his isn't correlating) and had another child. She is 16 right now, and quite the angry teen, mostly due to her mother dying when she was 5 and for a father that basically abandoned her.

I went straight away to go meet her after we talked briefly on the phone, but our father really is avoiding her. I talked to him on the phone the other day, and words were spoken and basically I went to his house with a knife and things got bad. Once there, I realized he's not worth the effort- just another alchoholic baby-boomer washup.

**Dis** · February 12, 2003, 20:07

It's just weird. You get this long term image of your family. And suddenly it changes. It almost doesn't seem real. Well I'm waiting to see if he wants to meet my mother first. He has written, but has not provided a location. If he does come to my city I would have no problem meeting him.

He has his problems I hear. But really he probably had it better off not growing up in my family. It was dysfunctional. He doesn't really know how good he had it. Who knows how my dad would have treated him since he wasn't my father's child.

**SuperSneak** · February 12, 2003, 20:23

I'm adopted, and I think your take on not wanting to meet people is off. At least in my case it is. IMO, an adopted person has a very strong desire to meet/know about genetic family members. You grow up with your adopted family, and they are your #1 family and you love them deeply, but you always feel like your name and heritage are sort of "borrowed".
I met my birth mother over 10 years ago and she is just the neatest lady, as are her family. Since I was the product of a date rape, I don't know or really have any desire to meet my biological father, though he lives just a few minutes away and supposedly has a couple of kids. I wouldn't mind knowing my paternal family tree or perhaps meeting half siblings (they are the only blood siblings I have), but the issue is so uncomfortable and distasteful that I just don't know if I can. Plus, he probably would like to forget what he did and I'd be a very tangible reminder. I doubt he's told anyone about his little "tryst" and I don't know that he even knows I exist for sure. I mean, the guy is basically a rapist.
But your half brother may very well feel a longing to meet family and hear the stories and history that you take for granted.
You may also find that you have many natural affinities and common interests (I did with my biological family memebers...moreso than my adopted ones) which could end with you guys getting along great.
Who knows?
Drop the guy a letter...it's the least you can do. If not, don't bother at all...to me, though, the child of my mother is going to have more of a profound connection to me than sya the child of my father by another woman.

**Alexander's Horse** · February 12, 2003, 22:21

But Sneak you never got the father's side of the story -maybe what you were told isn't so clear cut.....

**NeOmega** · February 12, 2003, 23:02

I have a half brother somewhere in the world.... Damon Rutlidge.... don't know him so I don't really care to ever meet him...... I wonder if he knows he has three half siblings.....

**War4ever** · February 12, 2003, 23:11

about three years ago i found out i have a half sister about 5 years younger than i...to this date, my father has been unable to track her down...

i don't think much about her to be honest....hard to have feelings for someone i don't know ?

**Alexander's Horse** · February 12, 2003, 23:12

Just hope you don't date her...

**Jon Miller** · February 12, 2003, 23:27

Originally posted by SuperSneak
I'm adopted, and I think your take on not wanting to meet people is off. At least in my case it is. IMO, an adopted person has a very strong desire to meet/know about genetic family members. You grow up with your adopted family, and they are your #1 family and you love them deeply, but you always feel like your name and heritage are sort of "borrowed".
I met my birth mother over 10 years ago and she is just the neatest lady, as are her family. Since I was the product of a date rape, I don't know or really have any desire to meet my biological father, though he lives just a few minutes away and supposedly has a couple of kids. I wouldn't mind knowing my paternal family tree or perhaps meeting half siblings (they are the only blood siblings I have), but the issue is so uncomfortable and distasteful that I just don't know if I can. Plus, he probably would like to forget what he did and I'd be a very tangible reminder. I doubt he's told anyone about his little "tryst" and I don't know that he even knows I exist for sure. I mean, the guy is basically a rapist.
But your half brother may very well feel a longing to meet family and hear the stories and history that you take for granted.
You may also find that you have many natural affinities and common interests (I did with my biological family memebers...moreso than my adopted ones) which could end with you guys getting along great.
Who knows?
Drop the guy a letter...it's the least you can do. If not, don't bother at all...to me, though, the child of my mother is going to have more of a profound connection to me than sya the child of my father by another woman.

it depends on the reasons for the adoption

those who were abused often have no wish to contact their birth family

Jon Miller

Announcement

I found out I have a half-brother today

I found out I have a half-brother today

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