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Agathon, while your theory makes cogent sense, it is wrong in the face of sexual reality. I'm not sure how sexually active you are, but as one who is reasonably so, I can tell you that you are severely underestimating the amount of kink that goes own in the bedrooms of those longterm, monogamous couples your idolizing. No, being humiliated or dominated in a relationship is not good. But sexual activity is usually relegated to the bedroom and remains there (this is why you aren't aware of it, I suppose). And what happens behind closed doors for most couples tends to get wild.
A perfect example is being tied up. I don't know if you've ever done this (I'm guessing not), but I have. It's not an activity I will do with any one any where, but if the time and person are right, guess what? It's a lot of fun. There is something very exciting sexually about being tied up and dominated by someone you find attractive, and conversely doing it to them.
There isn't necessarily anything "mentally ill" about it at all. I don't think I've suffered any negative repercussions or self-image problems because I've occasionally been tied up, or have done some aggressive/submissive roleplaying. It adds variety and spice to sex lives. As I said (which you seem to be ignoring), mental health experts often suggest that lonterm couples use kink as a means of reinvigorating a stale sex life. Many also think the repression of a fetish is actually harmful, in a somewhat similar manner that repression of sexual orientation is.
I think you are severly exaggerating the extent of fetishes, because most people have them, most people deal with them in a pretty healthy way, and that's that. I don't believe that getting aroused by licking your wife's feet in the bedroom is going to ruin your life at all.
And if you think I'm sounding like another famous philosopher again, you can just keep it to yourself, because ain't nobody here impressed by your name-dropping.
A perfect example is being tied up. I don't know if you've ever done this (I'm guessing not), but I have. It's not an activity I will do with any one any where, but if the time and person are right, guess what? It's a lot of fun. There is something very exciting sexually about being tied up and dominated by someone you find attractive, and conversely doing it to them.
There isn't necessarily anything "mentally ill" about it at all. I don't think I've suffered any negative repercussions or self-image problems because I've occasionally been tied up, or have done some aggressive/submissive roleplaying. It adds variety and spice to sex lives. As I said (which you seem to be ignoring), mental health experts often suggest that lonterm couples use kink as a means of reinvigorating a stale sex life. Many also think the repression of a fetish is actually harmful, in a somewhat similar manner that repression of sexual orientation is.
I think you are severly exaggerating the extent of fetishes, because most people have them, most people deal with them in a pretty healthy way, and that's that. I don't believe that getting aroused by licking your wife's feet in the bedroom is going to ruin your life at all.
And if you think I'm sounding like another famous philosopher again, you can just keep it to yourself, because ain't nobody here impressed by your name-dropping.
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