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1.Steep stairs. The stairs are at at 10 o or higher angle.
2. Everything is those 220 V two pins, even big appliances.
3. Nobody rents, most do 'key money' system.
4. Nobody bats an eye at bathrooms with no stall doors, but be seen brushing your (gasp) TEETH in PUBLIC....
5. The constant hawking and spitting of phlegm, with gusto, in public, in a land where Middle Schoolers smoke, and High Schoolers smoke Marlboroughs.
6. Finally being able to detect the difference between the 200 varieties of kimchi beyond 'that tastes like peppery old socks' or 'that tastes like PEPPERY, OLD socks'
7. The squat toilet.
8. The 'efficiency' appartment.
9. The street vendors everywhere.
10. The blade runner-esque trucks with recorded commercials all hours of the day.
11. Words for sexual intercourse, human bodily functions, and blasphemy are considered mild and amusing, or are non-insults, but call someone 'crazy' or 'stupid' Michi, mong chong ee, etc, or question their parentage 'ge se ri' and it's ON. There is no real equivalent to 'silly' or a friendly way to say 'you're silly/crazy' in Korea. The closest is 'babo' which is really the English stupid, there is no 'nice' stupid in Korean, only going from stupid (babo) up to you ****in' ****** equivalant (Michin).
12. EVERYONE still lives with their mother, and grandmother.
13. (for women) you don't have any children? You're 25!!
14. 'Coffee and a Blow' as one of our teachers calls some of these anma parlours. It seems like virtually every business in Korea has a seedy backroom. Learn to tell the difference between the barber poles, some mean 'special massage' is a bonus service. At some clubs and restaurants the drink that costs hundreds of dollars 'includes woman' (you can order by number from a picture book if you want). Hotels, 'Love Hotels' are everywhere, Coffee and a Blow, etc. The explanation 'Korean man has a lotta stress' according to our female Korean boss.
15. The 'handphone' Koreans get them attached at birth it seems, even the little velcro shoe wearing girls have handphones....with colour and tetris.
NOTE: My two month campaign against the evil Roach Empire has entered the final phase. Tonight, I clench the Fist of Iron. I have used a can of RAID. Their winter offensive ignored that weapon, with a new stronger breed of smaller, yellowish roach. I retaliated with roach traps (they bring the bait back to the nest and poison all), but that only slowed them down. I dumped bleach down the cracks they emerged from, but this fiasco led to the court-martialling of half the General Staff. I was reduced again to guerilla tactics and black operations, killing by hand and then dissappearing back into the bush, hitting their supply lines (kept no food in the cupboards) until finally my intel paid off: A Traditional Korean Preperation from the druggist seems to be turning the tide!!
The Empire had its chance for peace. Now there will be no prisoners short of final victory. Tonight I combine this herbal cure with a new batch of roach traps with a different active chemical, and I'm gonna cover the corners with the traps. Innocent women and children? Bah.
CRY HAVOC AND LET SLIP THE PESTICIDES OF WAR!!
If I fail I can only hope to cash in my foreign reserves and flee to Uruguay....
2. Everything is those 220 V two pins, even big appliances.
3. Nobody rents, most do 'key money' system.
4. Nobody bats an eye at bathrooms with no stall doors, but be seen brushing your (gasp) TEETH in PUBLIC....
5. The constant hawking and spitting of phlegm, with gusto, in public, in a land where Middle Schoolers smoke, and High Schoolers smoke Marlboroughs.
6. Finally being able to detect the difference between the 200 varieties of kimchi beyond 'that tastes like peppery old socks' or 'that tastes like PEPPERY, OLD socks'
7. The squat toilet.
8. The 'efficiency' appartment.
9. The street vendors everywhere.
10. The blade runner-esque trucks with recorded commercials all hours of the day.
11. Words for sexual intercourse, human bodily functions, and blasphemy are considered mild and amusing, or are non-insults, but call someone 'crazy' or 'stupid' Michi, mong chong ee, etc, or question their parentage 'ge se ri' and it's ON. There is no real equivalent to 'silly' or a friendly way to say 'you're silly/crazy' in Korea. The closest is 'babo' which is really the English stupid, there is no 'nice' stupid in Korean, only going from stupid (babo) up to you ****in' ****** equivalant (Michin).
12. EVERYONE still lives with their mother, and grandmother.
13. (for women) you don't have any children? You're 25!!
14. 'Coffee and a Blow' as one of our teachers calls some of these anma parlours. It seems like virtually every business in Korea has a seedy backroom. Learn to tell the difference between the barber poles, some mean 'special massage' is a bonus service. At some clubs and restaurants the drink that costs hundreds of dollars 'includes woman' (you can order by number from a picture book if you want). Hotels, 'Love Hotels' are everywhere, Coffee and a Blow, etc. The explanation 'Korean man has a lotta stress' according to our female Korean boss.
15. The 'handphone' Koreans get them attached at birth it seems, even the little velcro shoe wearing girls have handphones....with colour and tetris.
NOTE: My two month campaign against the evil Roach Empire has entered the final phase. Tonight, I clench the Fist of Iron. I have used a can of RAID. Their winter offensive ignored that weapon, with a new stronger breed of smaller, yellowish roach. I retaliated with roach traps (they bring the bait back to the nest and poison all), but that only slowed them down. I dumped bleach down the cracks they emerged from, but this fiasco led to the court-martialling of half the General Staff. I was reduced again to guerilla tactics and black operations, killing by hand and then dissappearing back into the bush, hitting their supply lines (kept no food in the cupboards) until finally my intel paid off: A Traditional Korean Preperation from the druggist seems to be turning the tide!!
The Empire had its chance for peace. Now there will be no prisoners short of final victory. Tonight I combine this herbal cure with a new batch of roach traps with a different active chemical, and I'm gonna cover the corners with the traps. Innocent women and children? Bah.
CRY HAVOC AND LET SLIP THE PESTICIDES OF WAR!!
If I fail I can only hope to cash in my foreign reserves and flee to Uruguay....
. My parents have recently celebrated their second year without roaches.
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