Most pathetic military unit ever?

[Capt Dizle]

Surely some of the early Federal units from the War of Northern Agression. Many would rout at the mere sound of the rebel yell.

When Jackson flanked at Chancellorsville the Federals were cooking with rifles stacked. There were no flankers out because the terrain on the flank looked like an impentrable wall of thorny thickets. They heard a racket and noticed that small animals were running out of the thickets, then larger animals. Still they stood and then the rebs came thru, many streaked will blood because of the thorns, shrieking the rebel yell. The vast majority of the Federals never took up arms, but simple turned and ran for their lives. Some ran for miles causing the panic to spread to adjacent units. I could look up the specific units if you like.

[johncmcleod]

The south will rise again! Woowee! Hear that Festus? We gonna get them yanks back!

The War of Northern Aggression? Who attacked Fort Sumter? Who seceded? Who started the whole war? I have never heard of anyone to call an attempt to preserve their country an aggression. What a stupid thing to say. A country isn't going to say, "Oh, it looks like the country is breaking in half. I better let it be because I don't want to start a fight."

[johncmcleod]

I do admit many fed units in the War Between the States were pathetic. The war up til Gettysburg was embarassing.

[Felch]

Originally posted by Ikarus
What does everyone have against the French, besides that they were defeated in WW2. But still they had a pretty awesome military. Did you know that the French Armee de l'Air had a better kill-loss ratio than the German Luftwaffe.

Luftwaffe had to fight a far better equipped (and gigantic) American Army Air Corps, and the RAF. The French never had to do such things.

[Felch]

Originally posted by johncmcleod
A country isn't going to say, "Oh, it looks like the country is breaking in half. I better let it be because I don't want to start a fight."

Well I don't know about you, but if jimmytrick wanted to live in a different country and wave a different flag, I'd be happy to let him use the South for that. It's not like I like that hellhole much.

[Kepler]

The trouble with giving up the South is you have to give up southern women, the only thing that makes being a male in the US bearable. OTOH, you'd get rid of southern men, so it's a net gain. We can always import women from Italy and Ireland.

As for pathetic, I'm going with the armored knights at Agincourt. They drink and argue all night, blow their mobility advantage by charging right onto Henry's pikes, and finish up as longbow sheesh-ka-bob. Nice job, guys.

[TheStinger]

The non conscript british army which went to france in 1914 were so good the germans thought their rifle fire was machine guns.

[Ethelred]

Originally posted by Frogger
Wutang!!

Unlike the US, Canada has never lost a war.

I see. Is that why its still a French country? Now I understand. Quebec is the heart of Canada and all those English speakers are mere riff-raff with a serious delusion the the English took Canada from the French.

[Ethelred]

Originally posted by notyoueither


I agree. The balls they had to keep going...

Hense the discussion of leadership.

The men were extremely well trained by that leadership. From every thing I can tell its was more a complete lack of adequate communication, misunderstanding of both written and verbal orders by, Lord Raglan, ambiguous gestures by Captain Nolan and the simple fact that no one in the valley could see the guns they were supposed to attack.

The orders had been written by men that were on much higher ground and they had no trouble seeing what the Russians they wanted the Light Brigade to attack. The Light Brigade itself had been champing at the bit for a long time to engage the enemy instead just scouting especialy after the Heavy Brigade had distinguished itself earlier that day. Tennyson wrote a poem about that engagement as well but its not as well known.

Link to Tennyson's Poem The Charge of the Heavy Brigade:

http://www.geocities.com/irby.geo/cothb.html

Nice page on the Charge of the Light Brigade taken from:

From: C. R. B. Barrett, History of the XIII Hussars, William Blackwood and Sons, Edinburgh and London, 1911.

http://www.pinetreeweb.com/13th-balaclava2.htm

For a good fictionalized account of some of the action at Balaclava I recommend George McDonald Fraser's Flashman at the Charge. It has Hero, dastard and coward Harry Flashmen at all the major battles of that day, The Thing Red Line, The Charge of the Heavy Brigade and the Charge of the Light Brigade at which point Harry is captured and the rest of the books deals with Harry in Russia.

Can't find much on the Thin Red Line

http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/timelines/scotland/thin_redline.shtml

Most of what I can find are like this one trying to sell prints of paintings of the battle:

http://www.cranstonfinearts.com/LISTING/PICTURES/G3.HTM

Flashman fan site on Flashman at the Charge

http://www.harryflashman.org/vol4.htm

Amazon UK page

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0006512984/ref=ase_theflashmansc-21/026-2526313-1439600

Boy is that a terrible cover. My paperback has a great Frank Frazzetta painting.

US Amazon site

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0452264138/qid=1033729584/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_1/103-7806631-4494230?v=glance&n=507846

Well the cover is a bit better but as is the case with ALL the Flashman books only the standard paperbacks have had really good covers.

[TheStinger]

The light brigade were definatlry not useless. I don't think anyone would want to fight a unit that charged miles down a narrow cannon with a huge bunch of artilery firing at them. can you imgine how pissed they would have been when they got to the end

[Ethelred]

Originally posted by johncmcleod

The War of Northern Aggression? Who attacked Fort Sumter? Who seceded? Who started the whole war? I have never heard of anyone to call an attempt to preserve their country an aggression. What a stupid thing to say. A country isn't going to say, "Oh, it looks like the country is breaking in half. I better let it be because I don't want to start a fight."

Shhh the Southerners around here and the Texans in particular are in a serious state of denial about the Civil War. Talking with them is like trying to discuss reality with a parnoid-schizophrenic. Everything makes sense IF you can accept their assumptions.

[CyberGnu]

"Never ask a man if he's from Texas. If he is, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him."

From our pet Texans email signature

[Jeje2]

From my memory...
Remember hearing a story from Russia in WWII.

Russians desided to train dogs to run to tanks (with bombs tied to the body), and this way make Germans tanks less efective. Training was done so that the dogs assosiated tanks with food, i.e. plates of food were under the tanks.

Well it finally came to testing in a battle between German and Russian tanks.
Result: Russian tanks had to flee in a panic as the dogs were running towards them. (Russians had used own tanks for training).

Don't now if this is a true story or a tale, but I think it's funny anyway.
Can anyone confirm/deny this story?

[Ethelred]

That one reminds of another animal unit. And it has GOT TO BE the most pathetic of all time.

Top this one.

Incendiary pigs

Someone figured out that elephants didn't like the sound of squeeling pigs. The best way to make the pigs squeel on cue was to light them on fire.

You can see a military miniture of them halfway down this page

http://www.jonesy.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/camillan.htm

I can't remember who came up with this travesty of ancient warfare or if was ever effectively used.

[molly bloom]

If I recall correctly, some members of the Ugandan rebel Lord's Resistance Army believe that they can be bullet-proofed by smearing their clothes with semen.

In several encounters with regular Ugandan army units, this protein shield has been found somewhat wanting...