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Eurospeak
Subject: New language
As part of the European consolidation process, the European Union Commisioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, HMG conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.
Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Goverments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have been a deterrent to akurate spelling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "es" in the langauage is disgasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v"
During ze fifz year ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understan ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru
Subject: New language
As part of the European consolidation process, the European Union Commisioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, HMG conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.
Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Goverments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have been a deterrent to akurate spelling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "es" in the langauage is disgasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v"
During ze fifz year ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understan ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru
...ja viimeinen sivu tästäkin threadista käynnistyy...
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