Ten Days that Shook My World

[Felch]

Why are your parents such *****es? The answer to that question might be a clue as to how to respond. Like was your stepmom really hostile or something?

[Lincoln]

Forgive and forget it. The hate that you feel now will not get better over time. Cutting off your family is too rash. It sounds like only one member was really guilty. Why cut off the rest?

[JohnT]

Originally posted by rah
I'm with Zkribbler. You've already burned your bridges there, so I'd sue. You will win, it's just a question of how much it will cost you to win. But, it will cost them more to lose.

And I would be willing to bet that as soon as they found out you were sueing, they'd settle. But unfortunately you compromised which might make it a tougher. Did you sign an agreement with the compromise?
I'd still go after them just out of principle.

Not too sure what you mean that I compromised. I did not accept the second offer, rather I flat-out refused it. I also did not sign any agreement relating at all to my resignation other than the original resignation letter.

Also, (and I think this shows that, in the back of my head, I knew something like this could go down) I had controller #18 do an inventory of the items in my personnel file and in my medical history file (no entries there). He thought I was totally paranoid, but who cares - I wasn't going to be working with him in a months time anyway. We signed and dated it, I got the original for my records and a copy was included in my personnel file.

Why?

I did not put it past them to forge a non-compete agreement, what with my scrawly, easy-to-forge signature and all. Given that there was no non-compete on whatever July day we did the inventory, the sudden appearance of one will be strongly contested by me.

[Tingkai]

I'm still amazed that JohnT's father hasn't stepped in to help him more.

[JohnT]

Originally posted by Sten Sture
I wouldn't push the enforcement of 'they never get to see your daughter again.' That punishes your daughter too, which is unfair to her.

You may be justifiably really pissed, but I'd try to leave it at that.

Congrats! This is the reply that made me see red when I read it... good thing I calmed down before I typed.

Actually, what I said was this: "I made it explicitly clear that they are never to see Sophia again unless this issue is resolved to my satisfaction, and that even if it were they should expect relations between me and my stepmother to be icy at best."

Emphasis mine.

True story:

I have an older brother who is, lets say, retarded. That's not really it, but it comes close enough without a lot of explaining to his history and etc. Another way to say it is that my 37 year old brother is in many ways just like a 14 year old boy.

Jim had a dog, a mutt named Jack. Jim took the dog for a walk alongside a curvy road at night without the dog on a leash, even after I told him to put the dog on a leash as he was walking up the driveway from my parents home (Jim lived there at the time).

It wasn't two minutes after I gave Jim that warning that the dog was dead, hit by a car. I didn't see it, but I heard it and knew immediately what happened. Jim was absolutely devastated as you can expect, and who can blame him?

Three weeks after the dogs death, my stepmother gave Jim another dog, a golden lab named Page. Jim didn't want the dog, said he didn't deserve it because he didn't take care of Jack (a pretty introspective observation from Jim and one that I didn't expect), but Jan pushed the dog on Jim anyway, saying that "you need to learn how to take care of animals."

Well, Jim fell in love with the dog. She was a good dog, smart, good-looking, happy, etc.

After a while, Jim got tired of living with my parents, and for good reason: my stepmother used him for free labor constantly, even to the point of waking him up at 2:00am to have him move furniture, making him take a week off of work so he can patch the roof, crap like that. So he told them that he was planning on moving out and living with a guy he knew from work.

Whereupon my stepmother told him "If you move out of this house, I will have to put Page down."

Jim was devastated, and cried for three days. You likely have no idea what it's like holding a 35 year old retarded man who is sobbing like a six year old, but I gotta tell you, it sucks...

Anyway, he moved out and she kept the dog. She didn't kill it though, but she took it with her when they moved the company to Tennessee.

Sten, do you really think that there is any benefit to my lovely daughter to have such a person in her life?

[JohnT]

Originally posted by SuperSneak
I'm with Sten...as much as I dislike my mother in law, she'd have to harm my son to cut her off.
Now, "harm" may have a wide definition, depending on my mood, of course.
Good thing you're on your own...don't take this the wrong way (automatic guarantee that you will) but you sound a bit "silver spoony" to me...probably best you aren't under their influence anymore.

"Silver Spoony"

There, you see that guarantee you offered worked.

You're right though - it is for the best that I'm not under their influence any more.

[devilmunchkin]

i hope everything goes WONDERFUL for you..
and i can understand how parents stealing from you goes..my biological father stole money from my tax return by claiming me (i won..i got it back and haven't heard from him since) and my biological mother and stepdad kept my ingeritance from my Nana (she trusted my mom to do the right thing...she left me a car..which they sold to buy my step dad a new truck). Obviously none of this is on the level that you're talking about..but it stills hurts more than anything when you're own parent betrays or deceives you. You're very very lucky to have an even better family around you now that is growing and flourishing.
Also, don't compromise with your parents....With mine, i made them crawl back to me, although i receive no financial support whatsoever..stand your ground and show them you can and will do it alone.
everyone here KNOWS you can! congrats!

[JohnT]

Originally posted by Adalbertus
So far, good luck to your new life, but

Who saves your father from your stepmother?
And enjoy your new life.

No kids on her part, thank God.

Who saves my father? My father. Period. We're pretty hard-nosed in our family and common homilies include:

"You make your bed, you lie in it."

"That's his own damned fault. If he doesn't like it, then he can do something about it."

"Nobody makes you do what you don't want to do."

Etc, etc.

I'm not in the business of saving my father. The pattern of behavior that led to the events of the past week is in no way new, original, or really surprising. Believe it or not, ALL his wives have been harridans of an extreme measure

My mother, to punish her daughters, would have them choose one of their stuffed animals and throw the animal into a fire. Lovely.

Stepmother #1 was worse, being responsible for a few broken bones and emotional breakdowns amongst her (step) children. Nice.

This is a pattern of Dad's, the marrying of women who are complete and utter Khuntz. Interestingly enough, his personal fortunes shoot up when he has a bltch in tow, and drop precariously when he is single.

Also, screwing his kids financially is an old tradition as well - imagine being 17 and making the last payment on your car, only to find out a month later that your Dad hocked the car again in your name and stuck you with the re-payments. Such happened to my sister back in the early '80s.

"You reap what you sow."

"If you really cared, you'd do something about it."

[Tingkai]

There's nothing "silver spoony" about JohnT's situation. The fact that he was offered a job and that he landed a big contract shows he knows how to work hard and is good at his job.

Sounds more like he was trying to be a good son and got screwed for it.

[JohnT]

Originally posted by Lincoln
Forgive and forget it. The hate that you feel now will not get better over time. Cutting off your family is too rash. It sounds like only one member was really guilty. Why cut off the rest?

Well, I'm only cutting off two: my father and my stepmother. I just notified my sisters of what happened, my decision, and what to do if there are family occassions that demand my parents presence. Like I told Beth: "If you have to choose between Dad and John being at dinner, go ahead and choose Dad if all things are equal."

And I should re-iterate (Sten cut off the clause when he posted his reply): This severance is only as long as this issue remains unresolved.

[Shi Huangdi]

Ya, I think you need to sort of the drive a hard line here. They robbed you of $18,000, that is too much, and your father obviously went along with it. They should change their behavior and repay the money if they want to have a relationship. And oh ya, sue them.

[Saras]

Pitching for your own company is FUN FUN FUN! Way to go, JohnT.

Oh, and even in this backwater country, if I say on the phone "I sold you 10,000 Lithuanian Telecom @ 1.05 ", I'm bound.

[Skanky Burns]

Originally posted by JohnT
Well, I'm only cutting off two: my father and my stepmother. I just notified my sisters of what happened, my decision, and what to do if there are family occassions that demand my parents presence. Like I told Beth: "If you have to choose between Dad and John being at dinner, go ahead and choose Dad if all things are equal."

And I should re-iterate (Sten cut off the clause when he posted his reply): This severance is only as long as this issue remains unresolved.

To be honest, you sound too forgiving to me.

Even if they settle this case, the woman is still going to be a on your daughters life. Then again, it doesn't sound like she is capable of settling this case without being forced to, so its probably a moot point.

[Adalbertus]

To me it looks like his stepmom is the a...pple (of course I'm not neutral, but connecting my brain with JohnT's eyes). His father will have to realize that she is bad for him. In this case I think refusing to have contact would push him in the wrong direction. That's why I asked for the relation between his stepmom and the rest of his father's family.

Saras, I like your sig

[Saras]

--"Saras, I like your sig"

He he...