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Hey, I asked one already:
Which famous leader's body exploded at his own funeral?
Which famous leader's body exploded at his own funeral?
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Tutto nel mondo è burla -
Karl Marx's body? Though methinks that's from an alternate history novel.Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all!Comment
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Nope, much earlier. Political/government leader, not philosopher.Tutto nel mondo è burlaComment
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I just remembered that I was thinking of a novel where Germany had occupied Great Britain during WW2. Marx's body was going to be handed over to the Soviets, but resistance fighters made a terror strike and hid dynamite in the coffin.
Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all!Comment
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William the Conquerer"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way. "
-BokononComment
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Ramo wins.Tutto nel mondo è burlaComment
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Here's the full tale:
"For all his conquests in life, William had one challenge that he could never conquer - that of being extremely fat. He was constantly ridiculed for being a "fat man" and was said to be "lying in" (pregnant).
So, in the summer of 1087, William went off to the ancient equivalent of a weight loss clinic in Rouen, France. Here he planned to trim the pounds with a strict diet of herbs and medications. He never made it, however.
Along the way, he had to take care of a little business. He decided to retaliate against an invading French garrison at the border town of Mantes. Of course, William and his troops won the battle, but poor William lost his life as the result of the celebration. It seems that his horse suddenly shied away from a fiery ember of the smoldering ruins. The horse took William and threw him violently into the saddle's iron pommel (that big knob on the front of the saddle). Ouch! The pain!
His injuries were solely internal, but severe. The saddle burst his intestines and waste matter began to fill and poison his intestines (sounds great, huh?). Peritonitis (inflammation of the abdominal cavity membrane) quickly set in. William was carried to Rouen where he slowly died over a period of five weeks. Pus filled his intestines.
Now for the weird, twisted part of his death: William died on September 9, 1087 at the age of sixty years.
Within minutes, the servants stole everything from his residence - including his clothes - and left his swollen, lifeless body lying naked on the floor. An obscure knight named Herluin was the first to discover William's nude body. At his own expense (he was not a wealthy man), he arranged for the body to be prepared for the funeral and transported to Caen. Just before the solemn funeral procession reached the church, the cries of fire were heard. The mourners were forced to put his coffin down and go fight the fire. Eventually, they put the fire out, returned to the body, and continued it along its way to the church.
The funeral was held on a blisteringly hot day. As a result, his abscess had swelled and became putrid. When they tried to fit William's body into a custom made sarcophagus (stone tomb), they found out that it had swelled so much that it would not fit in! What to do? What to do?
Very simple - squeeze him in!
They tried pushing him in to no avail. They then pushed on his swelled abdominal wall. (BIG mistake!)
Guess what?
William the Conqueror's body burst like a popped balloon! The pus and putrefaction drenched the King's burial garb. The stench filled the chapel. The mourners raced for the doors with their hands covering their noses. (I wasn't even there and I can imagine the smell!) Needless to say, they buried him very quickly! His body was allowed to rot in peace until 1562 when the Huguenots dug him up and threw his bones all over the courtyard.
So ends the strange, smelly death of William the Conqueror."Tutto nel mondo è burlaComment
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I wonder what was the name of that French king who was killed by inserting a hot, red-glowing tool up his rectum? Oh the pain!Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all!Comment
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I believe you're thinking of an English King. Edward II."Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way. "
-BokononComment
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Actually, the 11th century. Wales was conquered by the Normans, and then revolted a few decades later.er... wait no... a bit later. 13th century, I believe. In Wales."Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way. "
-BokononComment
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No, I've been assured that parts held out until the 13th... oh well, I should get the details soon."The purpose of studying economics is not to acquire a set of ready-made answers to economic questions, but to learn how to avoid being deceived by economists."
-Joan RobinsonComment
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Is there an active question?
If not, try this one:
Which is the only liquid that isn't wet?Gnu Ex Machina - the Gnu in the MachineComment
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Liquid mercury?"Paul Hanson, you should give Gibraltar back to the Spanish" - Paiktis, dramatically over-estimating my influence in diplomatic circles.
Eyewerks - you know you want to visit. No really, you do. Go on, click me.Comment
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Good boy!
Bonus question: why?Gnu Ex Machina - the Gnu in the MachineComment
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Yippee!
My question is: which US president hold the record for the shortest presidency ever, and how long was it?"Paul Hanson, you should give Gibraltar back to the Spanish" - Paiktis, dramatically over-estimating my influence in diplomatic circles.
Eyewerks - you know you want to visit. No really, you do. Go on, click me.Comment
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