is it just me or

[boann]

slutty behavior is always offensive in public.
and i doubt im the only one who thinks so .

[Boris Godunov]

So what's the difference between complimenting someone on their looks and acting slutty? Just curious where you draw the line. I doubt everyone has the same definition of what constitutes slutty or not.

If a guy posts a pic, and I compliment him on being good-looking, I don't see that as slutty, I consider that being polite, regardless of my sexual orientation.

If he posted a shirtless pic and I said "Oh wow, can I fondle you?" then yeah, that would be over the line (provided the comment was serious, of course). But it's hardly something that, if I observed, I would spend a lot of time fretting over.

[MrFun]

Here is a laundry list of double standards for you, Boann, so you can understand better.


1) It's ok for heterosexual couples to hold hands in public. But it's not ok for homosexual couples to hold hands in public.

2) People who see a heterosexual couple peck lips in public smile, think how wonderful that cuople looks together. People who see a homosexual couple peck lips in public frown and wish they would not make their sexual orientation publicly known.

3) Heterosexual workers have pictures of significant others at their workplaces and celebrate the births of their children. Homosexuals should be forbidden to "flaunt" their sexual orientation in the same way.

4) There are dozens of dating shows that cater to heterosexuals on television, and many people enjoy watching them. When one or two start to include homosexuals, they wonder why does it always have to be about sexual orienation (even though it already is).

5) 99% of all television series are about heterosexuals and their lives. When people come across the 1% that are about homosexuals and their lives, they wonder why there are shows that flaunt sexual orientation, even though hetero shows also flaunt sexual orientation.

6) With promiscuous heterosexuals, people might grumble about the immorality of it, but many others say that it's part of their growing up, and exploration. With promiscuous homosexuals, many people see them as deviant, or obsessed with sex -- but no, NEVER heterosexuals -- they are pure, and virtuous.

7) So many people discriminate against others who are not heterosexual, and then those same people wonder what are the problems that homosexuals have, that they have to organize into protest groups??

[Monk]

Hey Mr. Fun, you get your point across nicely, but maybe you should cut down slightly on the victim role. Not everybody cares who is holding your hand.

[MrFun]

Monk -- can you explain this to boann then?

[Jon Miller]

I am not saying that this is what I am saying is true for me and Boann, merely going to point out some generalizations which 'could' be wrong (not sure where the majority is)
--------------------------------

Here is a laundry list of double standards for you, Boann, so you can understand better.


1) It's ok for heterosexual couples to hold hands in public. But it's not ok for homosexual couples to hold hands in public.

- some people do not like any couples holding hands in public

2) People who see a heterosexual couple peck lips in public smile, think how wonderful that cuople looks together. People who see a homosexual couple peck lips in public frown and wish they would not make their sexual orientation publicly known.

- some people dislike PDAs (whether heterosexual or homosexual)

3) Heterosexual workers have pictures of significant others at their workplaces and celebrate the births of their children. Homosexuals should be forbidden to "flaunt" their sexual orientation in the same way.

- I doubt if most would consider it flaunting if a gay guy had a picture of his SO in the workplace

4) There are dozens of dating shows that cater to heterosexuals on television, and many people enjoy watching them. When one or two start to include homosexuals, they wonder why does it always have to be about sexual orienation (even though it already is).

- most people are heteros, of course the shows will be directed towards the largest population group, also there are some who think the hetero shows are improper also

5) 99% of all television series are about heterosexuals and their lives. When people come across the 1% that are about homosexuals and their lives, they wonder why there are shows that flaunt sexual orientation, even though hetero shows also flaunt sexual orientation.

- once more most people are heteros, and some do not like the way some of the hetero shows are also

6) With promiscuous heterosexuals, people might grumble about the immorality of it, but many others say that it's part of their growing up, and exploration. With promiscuous homosexuals, many people see them as deviant, or obsessed with sex -- but no, NEVER heterosexuals -- they are pure, and virtuous.

- no, many think that promiscuous heteros are immoral (and the ones who think that promiscuity is part of growing up and the like are also the ones who mostle think the same about homosexuality)

7) So many people discriminate against others who are not heterosexual, and then those same people wonder what are the problems that homosexuals have, that they have to organize into protest groups??

- not anough time to get into this

----------------------------------------

basically while I agree that there some double standards out there

in many areas it is not as clear(ly a case of double standards) as you are making it out to be

Jon Miller

[Jon Miller]

So what's the difference between complimenting someone on their looks and acting slutty? Just curious where you draw the line. I doubt everyone has the same definition of what constitutes slutty or not.

- most assuredly yes, but she can say that she thinks that what she thinks is slutty behavior is going on through too many threads (And that it is the homosexual posters who are doing it) and ask if posters will tone it down a little

- I bet that she would similiarly find some past cases of heterosexual behavior too much and would at times find counterglow too much

If a guy posts a pic, and I compliment him on being good-looking, I don't see that as slutty, I consider that being polite, regardless of my sexual orientation.

- a lot of people don't (not saying that I or Boann or anybody else on this site thinks that way, just that I know people who appear too)

If he posted a shirtless pic and I said "Oh wow, can I fondle you?" then yeah, that would be over the line (provided the comment was serious, of course). But it's hardly something that, if I observed, I would spend a lot of time fretting over.

- you have lines also and that is good, just take this thread as a reguest by another poster and determine what to do with it as you feel right (That fact that there are not a lot of posters coming out saying they feel uncomfortable suggests that most are not uncomfortable with the way things are right now, but it is still always nice to be considerate of others feelings)

--------------------------------

personally I have noticed some of what she is talking about

but I don't think it is really bad yet

I have seen far worse from some of the hetero posters (who shall remain nameless)

Jon Miller

[boann]

jon you put it well.
thats exactly it.
ive been offended some by what some others have said
but when i see a thread going that way i choose not to read or follow it after that. its mostly easy to avoid ..
im just saying lately its been harder to avoid .
and mostly its the gay group thats putting it out there.
used to be it was mostly confined to the coffee shop thread. and i mostly avoided that one.
im no prude or anything , but jezzz .
and im certainly not homophobic. i went to cosmetology school and had many interesting gay friends. ive even been to a few gay bars with them . but dang guys ...theres a place for everything. ...
this place is open to children and families and such.
i don't mind gays or hetros being affectionate . i have a really nice next door neighbor who is lesbian... shes wonderful... my children go visit her.
why do you have to label me some gay hater when you don't even know who i am ....
just because i have an opinion on public sexual behavour, doesn't make me homophobic.

[Monk]

Fun, explain what?

So what's the difference between complimenting someone on their looks and acting slutty?

No, the real question is - why is acting slutty a bad thing in people's minds? It's a great thing, as long as you take the appropriate precautions.

[Asher]

Originally posted by boann
ive got nothing against a persons sexually its a personal
choice but i do mind it being flanted in my face every day. i don't like hetros doing that either.

So why don't you stop your incessant flirting with "meathead"?

Let's face it, you flaunt your heterosexuality in the same way homosexuals flaunt their homosexuality.

Get over it, move on.

I find this thread and your behavior to be offensive, even if it's not intended to be like that.

Maybe you just don't realize it, but heterosexuality is flaunted far more often than homosexuality. It's just that you're used to it.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

On this forum we're blessed with eloquent and garrulous gay posters who can give us opinions on matters from a gay perspective. They do so. I have no problem with this.

We have people who seem irritated by this and then make arch comments about the gay posters. The gay posters respond/retaliate. Discussion/fight ensues.

That's why it seems to crop up a lot. It doesn't bother me in the slightest, however. In fact, I welcome opinions from a perspective I don't have.

[red_jon]

Originally posted by boann
theres a place for everything. ...
this place is open to children and families and such.

Yes, this is a 'family' site, but that doesn't mean gay or bisexual people should be restricted. Gay people are capable of raising children.


And Jon Miller (sorry to sound so formal using your second name, but otherwise I might confuse you with myself ) - most people are heterosexual so most shows will be heterosexual as well. However, 10% of people are gay. Are 10% of the shows homosexual? They aren't in proportion to the viewing public.

[Jon Miller]

but over 10% of shows have some homosexual characters

Jon Miller

[red_jon]

Originally posted by Jon Miller
but over 10% of shows have some homosexual characters

Jon Miller

But are 10% of the characters homosexual?

[Monk]

but over 10% of shows have some homosexual characters

Probably correct, but how often do you see gays on TV kissing each other or making sexual references of some sort? Granted, I don't know about that many shows, so maybe you can enlighten me.