Talk to Horse's kids

[Chris 62]

Do you hope to grow up and get soft government jobs like your old man?

How big is the house you will live in, tell the truth, the old man showed a fake, right?

How do you guys feel when your father spends immense amounts of time on the interenet playing games with other people instead of you?

[SuperSneak]

Originally posted by Alexander's Horse
They want to ask some questions.

Aidan: "What's up with all the names, like 'supersneak'?"

Because SuperSneak has an angry wife and a baby like daddy and he has to sneak to use his computer, or his angry wife will beat him and make him cry and take the baby away and sneak will have to write checks every month and drink lots and lots and lots of medicine juice.

Nicholas: "I like everything in the whole entire world. How did the cow chase the cow or the cow chase the cat? Because the cow is so crazy?"

Yes, the cow is crazy. Bad English people fed the cow yucky food and made it crazy. The cat didn't do anything to the cow, it was just minding it's own business and getting hair all over Daddy's nice pants. The cat likes to ride in the dryer, by the way.
(I think Nick may be the golden child...very Zen...ask him what is the sound of one hand clapping?)

Dominic: "Baby songs?"

HURRY UP BLUES
Words & Music by Hap Palmer
© Hap-Palm Music Inc.
Hurry kids, no time to play
We're running late for school today
Got the got to hurry, got to worry blues.
Where's my list of things to do/
Sally, where's your other shoe?
Got the got to hurry, got to worry blues.

I can't keep cool when I'm keyed up
Now where'd I leave my coffee cup?
Tommy, that's not your toothbrush
Oh how I hate this nervous rush!

Set the table, feed the fish
Careful now, don't break a dish!
Got the got to hurry, got to worry blues.

Dippity dash, lickety split
Zippity zoon, dit dit dit
Razzamotazz, frazzzaley frazz
Skiddle deed addle and all that jazz

Oh no! Come on Freddy
Its quarter to eight and you're still not ready!

Where's your homework? Where's your lunch?
Gobble that bowl of Crispy Crunch
Got the got to hurry, got to worry blues.
Wash your hands, comb your hair
The school bells ringing and you're not there
Got the got to hurry got to worry blues.

Button your coat and do it quick
Drink your juice or you'll get sick
Clean your plate, scrub your face
I swear you're moving at a turtle's pace!

My heart is beating double time
My thoughts are freaking in my mind
Got the got to hurry got to worry blues.
My hands are shakin my legs are itchin
My pits are sweatin, my nose is twitchin
Got the got to hurry, got to worry blues!


BACKWARDS LAND
Words & Music Hap Palmer
© Hap-Pal Music Inc.


Eat popcorn in the morning, pancakes in the night
Fly a boat or float your favorite kite
Take a pair of new shoes, lace one on each hand
That's the way we live in Backwards Land

Oh Backwards Land, Land Backwards oh
We love you so, so you love we
You make us happy, Happy us make you
Backwards Land is the place to be

See starry skies with sunshine, rainbows in the night
Cat that kiss each other when they fight
Buy the biggest diamond with a bag of sand
That's the way we live in Backwards Land

(repeat chorus)

Frosty nights are warm and boiling waters hot
Children make the grownups go to school
Cars and clothes are worth more when they're second hand
That's the way we live in Backwards Land

(repeat chorus)

Be to place the is Land Backwards


AMANDA SCHLUPP
Words & Music by Hap Palmer
©Hap-Pal Music Inc.


Amanda Schlupp would not pick her toys up
She left everything where it lay
She played all day and never found time
To put anything way

Her dollies lay smothered on top of each other
Their dresses were wrinkled and ripped
He skates were dropped carelessly on her glass pony
The poor thing was broken and chipped

Checkers and dominoes, buttons and silver bows
All were mixed up in a box
Her panda and teddy like tangled spaghetti
Lay limp in a bed of old socks

Her mirror as cracked from the crush of the clutter
And hadn't been seen for a year
Her hairbrush was bent and the bristles were jammed
In the teeth of her bicycle gear

She cleats of her soccer shoes dug a deep groove
In a record of "Skip to My Lou"
And flies crawled around on her pink paper plates
With cake crumbs and old mud pie stew.

Then one night Amanda dreamed tht her panda
Cried, "I can't stand anymore"!
Then the toys heard him yell, "Rise up and rebel!"
They broke down the bedroom door.

The dollies jumped into the bicycle basket
And panda bear pedaled away
The checkers jumped over each other to flee
And teddy bear shouted "Hooray!"

The glass pony limped up still broken and shipped up
And happily hobbled away
The soccer shoes kicked out the pile of old socks
Then sprinted outside to play

The records and skates rolled outside with the plates
And the hairbrush went bristling by
The bows and the dominoes danced out the door
And all that was lift were the flies

Amanda Schlupp screamed and woke up
And early the very next day
She skipped the cartoons and cleaned up her room
And put all her toys away.

[Alexander's Horse]

Sorry, that's it. They have to go and get ready for swimming classes now.

bye

[Shadowstrike]

Prove that you really are Horse's kids.

[SlowwHand]

Hi to the Ponies, from Dallas, Texas USA!

[devilmunchkin]

how old are they?

[Seeker]

Why do kids smell?

And why are your hands always covered in some sort of sticky, juicy liquid?

And what is it with the disproportionately large heads? Don't you know you all look like ET?

[HisMajestyBOB]

Originally posted by devilmunchkin
how old are they?

23, 19, 17

[Hydey]

Did Daddy tell you that he loves first first son the most.

[Case]

Which child controls Wiglaf?

[Dr Strangelove]

Is there anything you'd like to tell the nice lady from the government? It's OK to tell her secrets, she likes secrets and she's got a special friend, Mr. Policeman, who will protect you if your afraid to tell the nice lady from the government something about your Dad that he said he wanted you to keep a secret and that he'd give you a smack if you told anyone. Mr. Policeman gets very sad when Dad's smack theri kids and he'll be an extra special friend to you if you tell the nice government lady about your Daddy.

[Ecthy]

this seems pretty much made up... from what I got beforehands his kids are pretty young... so why would they fall into Horse rhetorics? well, maybe it's all about fun here but I seriously wonder whether Horse has EVER been hoenst about hsi real life... I'm pretty sure now that he's a 15 year old sitting somewhere in Britain and making it all up

[Alexander's Horse]

Probably

[Ecthy]

Confess

[Provost Harrison]

Have you ever been in a Turkish Prison?