Online Dating

[Mrs. Tuberski]

Tuberski and I meet on the internet NOt on a dating site but in the IM CHAt rooms We talked for 3 months before we actually met. and we have been married now for 4 years. I d say go for it.

[Pekka]

Sava, yeah but you know I'm right. My credits are that I've never failed a phone conversation with a chick. Never. And YES, I've had phone calls with girls, to all sad losers in here with the most obvious denial argument .

Just avoid the biggest mistake which is to 'plan' what you're going to say. It won't work. Just be yourself. Think it as a CV. It's already been cleared. That means you have it what it takes. Now they just need to see how well you can fit the team, but the technical part you have down already. So nothing to worry! Remember it's an opportunity! You can't screw it up. THe only way you can screw it up is when you over think it or deliberately screw it up. So just wing it man.. it'll be just fine. And after that, it'll be so much easier to talk with her when the first one is done. Same with meeting.. you're first a bit nervous, I usually get nervous so bad I feel like crapping and choking and dizzy in the head, but that's only the waiting part, when it actually happens it's a lot better after the ice breaker has been delivered.

Remember, if you don't break the ice, then she will. IF she won't, you're no worse than her. If she will, well the ice was broken so there's no problem. Or if you break the ice, hey you're showing initiative and guts, making you a real tough man. So what ever happens, you are not at fault, so don't worry about it.

Some of the bozos in here think talking to women is something difficult, but it's really not. Just avoid talking about yourself, unless she asks. Make her talk about herself that's the key. And seem to be interested. Hey if you are interested in what she says, even better.

But you have to take it like a.. every situation is like the markets, right? In this case you have to sell. You have to sell yourself to the girl. However, the negotiations are not like usually, you don't do any marketing. YOu let the girl do the marketing. If she starts talkinga bout herself, it also means she is insterested in you, if she wouldn't be, she wouldn't be talking to you, period. If she gives you short answers, making it a difficult chat, she's either nervous which means good for you, or she doesn't like you, in which case you can't screw it up because there's nothing to screw up.

So no matter how you look at it, you always win!! That's the key! It's a win-win!

Spontaneus, make her talk about herself, seem to be interested genuinely if possible, make a move if she's undecisive, AGREE on another day you will be in contact, be it a date, or a phone call. You can't say 'well can I call you some other time too?' you know. You should say 'Well, I really liked talking with you and I'd like to keep in touch...' listen what she says like 'umm umm yea umm' is 'oh.. i don't know..' is and then continue 'I'll call you tomorrow/exact day'. Right? Don't leave it hanging. Undecisiveness is the way to NOT score. But don't be too pushy... also you can subtly place in some hints where you can sniff off the possible 'yes' like talk about something interesting she finds interesting too, say she'd be a hockey fan then you can 'ohh yeah you know you should come with me to a game, it's so much fun' and she'll reply somehow. But this is an advanced technique and you really have to be a player to make this work so better keep it simple.

KISS!!!!
Keep It Simple Stupid!!

Wing it and relax. And if you feel a bit .. challenged.. don't worry.. it's natural. If you feel nervous, it just means you like her. Or you're afraid of being embarrased. Either way, relax and wing it. All players are nervous sometimes.

[Asher]

I met my BF on the internet as well, we've been seeing eachother for over a year and a half.

[Pekka]

Asher, that's a real shocker...

oh and PS. are you gay too? Poly is soon getting a minority of heteros soon

[Flubber]

[QUOTE] Originally posted by Pekka
Some of the bozos in here think talking to women is something difficult, but it's really not. Just avoid talking about yourself, unless she asks. Make her talk about herself that's the key. And seem to be interested. Hey if you are interested in what she says, even better.
[QUOTE]


Good advice from Pekka here.


There may have been more good stuff but I tend to zone out when reading Pekka's stream of consciousness style.

[Tassadar500]

Originally posted by Pekka
Asher, that's a real shocker...

oh and PS. are you gay too? Poly is soon getting a minority of heteros soon

How can you have a boyfriend and not be gay?

[Pekka]

Flubber, it's true though.

And the most common tripping stone most guys make. Because if you try to talk about yourself, you can screw up. You have to think too many things and then you become nervous and you become someone else. You have to think about things like.. 'ok I should make her talk, maybe we should talk about make up!' you know and then you come off as feminine perv, I mean some girls might like it but just stick to the safe zone because you can only screw up in there and it might be a turn off, or at least shold be. You think you can't be a stone face but you have to be careful not to be threatning because you met her on the internet so she might have doubts etc etc etc... be this, don't be that, remember this, and don't ever do that... just too much thinking. Easier to let her talk about herself. Then you have to just make it last (the talk) and agree basically. That's all you have to do and it's easy. Then occasionally talk a LITTLE too, so you're not too passive. Then when an hour or two have passed, she thinks it went quickyl, without noticing, and she thinks wow you're great company, even though you were watching clock half the time.

[Solver]

Originally posted by Lord Nuclear



How can you have a boyfriend and not be gay?

Be female ?

[Mrs. Tuberski]

On the other hand not all women like talking bout themselves I know I dont. If you decide to call her I Would stick to mutually liked topics. THAT way your not bored and watching the clock and she doesnt get spooked about why he only wants to talk bout me. MUtually like topics would include, your job hers whethere either of you drink or smoke, food, computers dating experiences etc.I would stay away from politics and religion on the first date.

[Pekka]

Don't listen to Mrs. Tuberski. Even though to her credit she's a woman... she can't beat me.

[Tuberski]

Originally posted by Pekka
Don't listen to Mrs. Tuberski. Even though to her credit she's a woman... she can't beat me.

Says the man who blew a sexual encounter because of cold hands.



ACK!

[SpencerH]

worthy of another



Thanks I needed that!

[Mrs. Tuberski]

Originally posted by Pekka
Don't listen to Mrs. Tuberski. Even though to her credit she's a woman... she can't beat me.

Just the thought of beating you pekka is a bit no a whole lot scary. Besides how much talk can two people have over mascara. Id get bored real quick just talking bout me. And talking hair oh good god Im would not like to sit there and say oh by the way it took me 2 hours to get this do and i did just for you Pleases lets get real. When talking to anybody I want an intelligent conversation.

[Pekka]

Ohh look at this! Couple defending each other, even though they are both WRONG! Disgusting... utterly and absolutely nasty disgusting behaviour, like animals!

Sure not all women like to talk about themselves. This is true. But ... most do .. and if she does, then you're walking the E-Z STREET PLAYA! If she doesn't talka bou herself, FINE, but at least you tried the most obvious route.

I still say, it's your best shot, try it first. Back up plan is then to find a common interest.

[Sava]

Originally posted by Mrs. Tuberski
On the other hand not all women like talking bout themselves I know I dont. If you decide to call her I Would stick to mutually liked topics. THAT way your not bored and watching the clock and she doesnt get spooked about why he only wants to talk bout me. MUtually like topics would include, your job hers whethere either of you drink or smoke, food, computers dating experiences etc.I would stay away from politics and religion on the first date.

Good advice.

btw, I already know she's liberal, like myself, so that's not a problem. In fact, I said in my match.com profile that if you voted Bush, "go step in front of a bus". So no Republicans will be coming my way.