NASA to annouce life on Mars

[-Jrabbit]

Thanks for the alert, Ned.
I've assigned my wife to check out the announcement this afternoon.

[Guest]

Originally posted by Tripledoc
If there is life, probably bacteria, (vira is not technically life, but need a host), then the people who eventually go there can't come back. Quarantine restrictions must apply.

So finding life on Mars is not good news in my opinion.

Even sending back detailed analysis of the life found, might infect the recievers on earth with a computer virus.

Come on, I hope you are joking with the last sentence, or do we need to explain why this is less probable than over 5 meteors hitting me in the next 5 minutes...

[dainbramage20]

Someone who is close as hell to JPL said they found life. And drudge had a report of Life, but its gone. So I guess its pointing to some kind of life on mars

[Boris Godunov]

Originally posted by Tripledoc
Even sending back detailed analysis of the life found, might infect the recievers on earth with a computer virus.

Please please please tell me this is an attempt at humor, Faux B?

[MrBaggins]

Originally posted by Boris Godunov
*SNIP*

Faux B

Superlatively good name, Boris!

It conjures up an image somwhat remincent of a kids toy... like a Furby, for example.

Anyway... please continue with the regularly scheduled programming.

[Chemical Ollie]

Understatement of the year:

Originally posted by Gatekeeper
Life, water or both. It's all interesting ... and if so, front page news .

[OzzyKP]

Originally posted by uh Clem
They found life but they won't announce it because the life forms are gay.

Or better yet, they have the life forms surrounded, but they won't make the announcement until closer to the election.

[pchang]

Originally posted by Proteus_MST
But AFAIK most of them are measures which were also in Effect at the Beginning of Spacetravel (Apollo-Program and the like) as they already feared that the Astronauts could bring some Bacteriae from Moon to Earth..

The quarantine measures during Apollo were a joke. Buzz Aldrin said he saw a rat/mouse esacpe from his rooms. The quarantine was very flawed and was nothing close to the bio containment that is in place today for studying nasty diseases. It is not clear that we would even know how to transport a returning spacecraft into such a containment area without some sort of compromise.

[Barinthus]

I thought this was amusing...

from The Star, a Toronto newspaper.

Mars — the new frontier for resolving old battles


SLINGER

If it hadn't been for the second shock, the first shock would have been the most stunning development in the history of space exploration.

As it was, the first shock paralyzed the engineers in the vast control room at NASA's flight centre in Houston. The image on the gigantic screen mocked them even as it astonished them. There was no denying what it was.

"Lockdown." The mouth of the director-in-chief, Mars Rover Operations, was so dry he had to say it twice to be heard. "Lockdown. Nobody leaves this room. Nobody communicates with anybody outside this room."

Everyone knew why. The world must not find out what the cameras aboard the rover Opportunity revealed with such brilliant clarity.

Only one other person must. "Get me the President," said the director-in-chief.

"Sir," he said, when the President came on the line. "It is my duty to tell you what the rover Opportunity has just discovered on Mars."

"I know Mars," said the President. "Great planet."

"Sir — I don't know how else to put it. Opportunity has found water there."

"Water!" cried the President. "In the canals? Wonderful! Water, the wellspring of life. That's what we hoped to find. That's why we're spending trillions exploring Mars. Whoo-ee!"

"Actually, sir." The director-in-chief searched for the right words. "It's just a few drops. A few drops in — "

"A few drops!" The President was ecstatic. "That's all we need! Mission accomplished!"

" — a discarded plastic Evian bottle."

It took several hours before everyone was sure the President fully appreciated the significance of the discovery. That it wasn't exactly the triumph he had in mind. It took several more hours before the significance of the second shock was as fully understood.

Suddenly Opportunity had stopped transmitting. No more pictures were arriving. Then, a blip at a time, letter by letter, the following appeared on the giant NASA screen. "Dzzzx dzzx."

"Dzzzx dzzx?" said the director-in-chief to his assistant.

"It's code, sir."

"Code for what?"

The President sounded as if he had been hit over the head with a tire iron. "You're telling me that Opportunity has sent a coded message saying it's under attack?"

"Afraid so, sir."

"What's up there to attack it?"

More letters flickered spasmodically on to the giant NASA screen. "Cr-r-r-unch."

"What's that mean?" said the director-in-chief.

"I think it means `Crunch,' sir," said his assistant.

Another picture shimmered feebly into view. From the angle it appeared as if Opportunity had been knocked over on its side.

Another Mars rover could be seen racing away carrying what looked like the caterpillar tracks Opportunity had travelled around on and the little pincer arms it had used to pick up soil samples. Plumes of red dust floated behind it as it disappeared over the edge of a gully.

"That wasn't — ?" The director-in-chief couldn't bring himself to finish the question.

"I'm afraid it was," said his assistant.

"Opportunity was attacked by Spirit?" The President was shouting. "But Spirit's our other Mars rover! We sent it up ahead of Opportunity. I thought you said it was broken, and that's why we haven't heard from it!"

"I think maybe it wasn't broken after all, sir," said the director-in-chief. "I think maybe it was lying in the weeds."

"There are weeds on Mars?"

"I mean, sir." The director-in-chief steeled himself. "I mean, it was flying this strange flag."

"Strange flag?"

It took several hours before the President fully understood the significance of the red flag with the star-studded diagonal blue cross: the Confederate Battle Flag.

"The South seems to have risen again, sir," said the Secretary of Defence.

"Are you telling me," said the President, "that the first time war breaks out in space it's a replay of the American Civil War?"

"Not a replay, sir." The secretary smiled. "I think of it more as Civil War II."

"So what's with the Evian bottle?"

"Evian. It's a French brand, sir. The Confederacy always believed that if they could have gotten the French on their side they would've won the first time. It looks like this time they have."

"Those Frenchies," growled the President. "I always knew they were garlic-stinking, frog-eating — wait! I'm from Texas. Whose side was Texas on?"

"The South's."

"Really? In that case, Vive la France! Now get the Strategic Air Command on the line. Tell them to get to work."

"Right away, sir. What do you want them to do?"

"Bomb New York."

[Capt Dizle]

[Solver]

3 minutes till the press conference. Is it broadcast online?

[Ned]

Yes. got to www.nasa.gov

[Solver]

Thank you.

[Capt Dizle]

Gee, they really made the announcement. Water on Mars. This will lead to a strong movement to get up there and poke around.

My taxes are going up.

[rev]

They found strong evidence that the area Opportunity landed in was "drenched" in water. No life, but the water thing is significant.