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THE GEORGE W BUSH STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS DRINKING GAME.
WHAT YOU NEED:
* A group of four taxpayers: including 1 white guy wearing a suit, 2
wearing normal clothes and 1 in semi- shabby clothes.
* A shot glass per person (all bought in a second hand store)
* 100 tiny toothpicks with American flags wrapped around them.
* A slab of soft French cheese, ie: brie.
* A large stash of beer. The one in the ragged clothing gets the
cheapest crap you can find, like Milwaukee's Best; the white guy in the
suit gets to drink whatever import he wants; and the other two pick between
Bud and Miller Lite.
Rules of the Game:
1. Whenever George W mentions the liberation of the freedom loving Iraqi
people, the last person to grab his throat in a choking motion has to drink
four shots of beer.
2. Whenever George W uses the words: "God," "America" or "jobs," drink a
shot of beer.
3. Whenever George W mispronounces the word "terrorism" the last person to
knock on wood drinks two shots of beer.
4. Whenever George W mentions the phrase "sanctity of marriage," take a
shot of beer. The first time this happens, the last person to finish has to
drink two more shots of beer and do the dishes during the Democratic
Response.
5. Whenever the speech is interrupted by applause, the last person to stick
one of the American flag toothpicks into the soft French cheese from a
distance of two feet drinks two shots of beer. The white guy in the suit
gets an extra chance each round.
6. Whenever George W smirks during a standing ovation, take turns drinking
shots of beer until the audience sits down. Do it double time if his
shoulders shake with silent laughter.
7. If the Vice President **** Cheney or First Lady Laura Bush are caught on
camera not paying attention and talking to somebody else while Puppet- Boy
is still speaking, drink a whole beer.
8. If George W Bush mentions Halliburton, his inability to find the Weapons
of Mass Destruction or Osama bin Laden, the white guy in the suit has to
drink a shot of everybody else's beer out of their shot glass, and they get
to wipe their glass clean on his jacket.
9. If George W Bush attempts to make a joke, anybody who laughs drinks
three shots of beer.
10. Whenever George W Bush quotes the Bible or uses the word "evildoers" in
a sentence, the last person to fall to their knees drinks two shots of
beer. If he pulls a quote from the Bible about "evildoers," the last person
to get prostrate, drinks an entire beer.
EXTRAS:
1. The white guy in the suit gets to kick the person wearing the shabby
clothes if George W uses a heartfelt story of an individual's grace and or
courage under pressure to illustrate a point. He gets 15 seconds to kick
everybody if that person is in the audience sitting next to an astronaut.
2. Everybody gets to kick the crap out of the guy in the suit for 15
seconds, only if Bush's teleprompter goes out and he begins to flail about
mumbling nonsense about his days with the Texas Rangers.
Will Durst will be playing this game with his friends, although he is still
looking for a volunteer to wear the suit.
WHAT YOU NEED:
* A group of four taxpayers: including 1 white guy wearing a suit, 2
wearing normal clothes and 1 in semi- shabby clothes.
* A shot glass per person (all bought in a second hand store)
* 100 tiny toothpicks with American flags wrapped around them.
* A slab of soft French cheese, ie: brie.
* A large stash of beer. The one in the ragged clothing gets the
cheapest crap you can find, like Milwaukee's Best; the white guy in the
suit gets to drink whatever import he wants; and the other two pick between
Bud and Miller Lite.
Rules of the Game:
1. Whenever George W mentions the liberation of the freedom loving Iraqi
people, the last person to grab his throat in a choking motion has to drink
four shots of beer.
2. Whenever George W uses the words: "God," "America" or "jobs," drink a
shot of beer.
3. Whenever George W mispronounces the word "terrorism" the last person to
knock on wood drinks two shots of beer.
4. Whenever George W mentions the phrase "sanctity of marriage," take a
shot of beer. The first time this happens, the last person to finish has to
drink two more shots of beer and do the dishes during the Democratic
Response.
5. Whenever the speech is interrupted by applause, the last person to stick
one of the American flag toothpicks into the soft French cheese from a
distance of two feet drinks two shots of beer. The white guy in the suit
gets an extra chance each round.
6. Whenever George W smirks during a standing ovation, take turns drinking
shots of beer until the audience sits down. Do it double time if his
shoulders shake with silent laughter.
7. If the Vice President **** Cheney or First Lady Laura Bush are caught on
camera not paying attention and talking to somebody else while Puppet- Boy
is still speaking, drink a whole beer.
8. If George W Bush mentions Halliburton, his inability to find the Weapons
of Mass Destruction or Osama bin Laden, the white guy in the suit has to
drink a shot of everybody else's beer out of their shot glass, and they get
to wipe their glass clean on his jacket.
9. If George W Bush attempts to make a joke, anybody who laughs drinks
three shots of beer.
10. Whenever George W Bush quotes the Bible or uses the word "evildoers" in
a sentence, the last person to fall to their knees drinks two shots of
beer. If he pulls a quote from the Bible about "evildoers," the last person
to get prostrate, drinks an entire beer.
EXTRAS:
1. The white guy in the suit gets to kick the person wearing the shabby
clothes if George W uses a heartfelt story of an individual's grace and or
courage under pressure to illustrate a point. He gets 15 seconds to kick
everybody if that person is in the audience sitting next to an astronaut.
2. Everybody gets to kick the crap out of the guy in the suit for 15
seconds, only if Bush's teleprompter goes out and he begins to flail about
mumbling nonsense about his days with the Texas Rangers.
Will Durst will be playing this game with his friends, although he is still
looking for a volunteer to wear the suit.
Since 24 isn't on tonight, I guess I'll be doing this.
Ming has become a TERRORIST!
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