Rugby - The Lull After The Storm

[finbar]

Interesting news this morning. Occasional All Black winger Caleb Ralph is porking the Queen's grand daughter, Zara. That's the Bull Terrier's daughter. Speaking of Anne, she certainly reverses the old adage that dog owners eventually look like their dogs.

Anyway, be that as it may, if Caleb were to impregnate Zara, we could witness the appearance of the first chin in the family for about 200 years. The potential downside for Caleb, of course, is that if Zara's mother takes a dislike to him, she - Zara's mother - will more than likely take to him the same way she did the Royal Corgi and the Royal Servant.

What's that?, I hear you say. Anne's Bull Terriers savaged the Royal Corgi and the Royal Servant? Tosh. It's a cover up.

In other barely related news, Corne Krige has retired from international rugby. With J**** likely to announce the same thing soon, we bid a fond farewell to, apparently, the two dirtiest captains in international rugby.

[Havak]

…and to, arguably (if you are Australian or Kiwi), the best and most successful lock ever to play the game.

The reality seems to be that Jonno will announce his retirement. The statement is due to be made after the game with (loss to?) Ulster on Saturday.

Here is what I have heard. He was keen to play 6N and help a smooth transition to a successor but then Sir Clive suddenly announced (in one of his well documented impulsive “I am the boss” moments) that only players who made themselves available for the summer tour to the SH would be considered for 6N duty. With a very young daughter J was thought not to want this – instead wishing to bow out with swansongs at Twickers and in Paris. Other players might simply have lied and said they were available then back out – but J seemingly has enough personal integrity not to wish to do so. Clive therefore has IMO made a huge error of judgment (how unusual) and rapid change is now upon us.

At least two players tipped for the captaincy – Backy and Hilly – have publically stated that they hope Jonno stays on. Dally of course has been publicly touting for the armband – but anyone who remembers his awfully naive performance during his last stint will be dreading that.

It could be interesting – for England’s success has certainly been driven at least as much by Jonno as by Woodward. I can see much whinging and bleating in Clive’s future as things deteriorate.

As for Royals – you know my position on them. Even watching the repeat of The Lost Prince last night had me hoping history would change and someone would shoot George Saxe-Coberg-Gotha (George V) and end the whole sorry business of British royalty.

And tell Caleb to be careful – he is following what is apparently, if you will excuse my crudeness, already a very well travelled path.

[ravagon]

Originally posted by Havak
…and to, arguably (if you are Australian or Kiwi), the best and most successful lock ever to play the game.

I don't remember Corne Kriege playing lock ... ?

[finbar]

Originally posted by Havak
Here is what I have heard. He was keen to play 6N and help a smooth transition to a successor but then Sir Clive suddenly announced (in one of his well documented impulsive “I am the boss” moments) that only players who made themselves available for the summer tour to the SH would be considered for 6N duty. With a very young daughter J was thought not to want this – instead wishing to bow out with swansongs at Twickers and in Paris. Other players might simply have lied and said they were available then back out – but J seemingly has enough personal integrity not to wish to do so. Clive therefore has IMO made a huge error of judgment (how unusual) and rapid change is now upon us.

Mmmm. Cue Clive to announce a change of mind on his new rule.

At least two players tipped for the captaincy – Backy and Hilly –

What? Can't they find anyone older?

It could be interesting – for England’s success has certainly been driven at least as much by Jonno as by Woodward. I can see much whinging and bleating in Clive’s future as things deteriorate.

*crosses fingers and toes*

And tell Caleb to be careful – he is following what is apparently, if you will excuse my crudeness, already a very well travelled path.

Excuse your crudeness? Good grief. It's in their genes. Her grandfather is - or was - known as the Royal Stick Man and her great aunt was a drunken slag. And still not a chin to be seen.

Which brings me, funnily enough, to J****. I was watching an old ep of "So Graham Norton" on cable tonight. Very funny man. That aside, it was an ep in which Linford Christie was a guest. They were talking about sportsmen endorsing products. Mr Norton opened a copy of the "The Sun" and there was the lantern-jawed one himself stretched out almost stark naked in an ad for Tetleys.

Fair made me nearly puke up my New York Cut Steak with Sauteed Rosemary Potatoes and Garden Salad.

[Havak]

Wasn't the can big enough to hide the offending article then?

Clive never admits he is wrong. The younger options for captaincy would be Ben Kay or perhaps Vickery. Wilko is Clive is insane (because Wilko really needs the added pressure!).

The great aunt - the stories are widely known but no one dares commit them to print here - even me.

And another rumour to surface this morning that has friends of mine worried - Jonno to head to NZ immediately with his family (wife is kiwi anyway) to Play and coach in S12. Frankly I think it's nonsense but you just never know do you.

[finbar]

Originally posted by Havak
Wasn't the can big enough to hide the offending article then?

Yes, it was. And he was advertising Tetley in bar fridge-size miniatures.

Clive never admits he is wrong. The younger options for captaincy would be Ben Kay or perhaps Vickery. Wilko is Clive is insane (because Wilko really needs the added pressure!).

In other words, the options are very thin on the ground.

The great aunt - the stories are widely known but no one dares commit them to print here - even me.

Where shall I begin? A friend of ours used to hang out with her and that crowd in the mid-60s.

And another rumour to surface this morning that has friends of mine worried - Jonno to head to NZ immediately with his family (wife is kiwi anyway) to Play and coach in S12. Frankly I think it's nonsense but you just never know do you.

Turning his back on Leicester? In their hour of need? Mmmm. Highly unlikely. Still, I suppose it depends on what the trouble and strife wants to do.

[Havak]

Super party pack size I think you will find - as it is for me too.

Jonno will be a very hard act to follow as skipper - just as Eales was. No one I have named fills me with any confidence.

I suspect that nearly all the stories you have heard via that friend are true. There are a few urban myths. It wasn't the whole barracks of the Coldstreams that time.

I find it hard to believe the NZ rumour - Jonno is as Tigers as it gets. These days though one can take nothing for granted. To many Dills running my club to be perfectly honest!

[flipside]

Originally posted by Havak


And Finbar – drop the Ulster accent as the posts on Tigers board are really annoying me now.

I'm sure he will now.
I mean, now that he has spawned this thread all across the place.

[finbar]

Originally posted by Havak
Super party pack size I think you will find - as it is for me too.

Glad to know you two have compared them.

I find it hard to believe the NZ rumour - Jonno is as Tigers as it gets. These days though one can take nothing for granted. To many Dills running my club to be perfectly honest!

Mmmm. Hark, I hear the sounds of the Drinking Boys Ticket being put together to contest the next election.

[finbar]

Originally posted by flipside

I'm sure he will now.
I mean, now that he has spawned this thread all across the place.

And-a-one, and-a-two, and-a-three:

"Ahhh-tee-taaah-tee-taaah-tee-taaah!".

[Tamerlin]

Shhhhhhhh!!!

The tadpole is sleeping...

[flipside]

Originally posted by finbar


And-a-one, and-a-two, and-a-three:

"Ahhh-tee-taaah-tee-taaah-tee-taaah!".

Yummy.
Potato bread, soda bread, Bushmills whiskey, Harp lager, Ash, Giant's Causeway,the craic, The Undertones, Patrick Kielty,champ, scallions, 33-0.
That should make Havak feel as though he is at home on the Tigers board.
The most galling thing though must the way the Ulster fans are saying how much they are enjoying the "banter,"and heartily slapping their new found Leics. friends on the back.
Oh, and btw, ask him if he thinks that the split Ulster/Tigers shirt is a good idea for me will you?

[finbar]

Originally posted by Tamerlin
Shhhhhhhh!!!

The tadpole is sleeping...

Quick! Now's your chance to escape him!

[finbar]

Originally posted by flipside
Oh, and btw, ask him if he thinks that the split Ulster/Tigers shirt is a good idea for me will you?

Let's see what he thinks about the question.

[finbar]

Originally posted by flipside
Oh, and btw, ask him if he thinks that the split Ulster/Tigers shirt is a good idea for me will you?

Just in case he missed the question.